


When the Odds are Stacked

by xxsilverlist



Series: We Choose Our Family [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Homophobia, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Marriage, Rough Sex, Smut, because the worlds not perfect, but ill add that later, idk if it'll get more explicit, look at that it got more explicit, mentions of smoking, wow im really doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:59:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxsilverlist/pseuds/xxsilverlist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Michael and Calum wade through married life while on a world tour and after. In which Calum and Michael face the struggles of adopting and parenthood, fame, homophobia, and puppies. And in which Calum and Michael struggle to balance domestic life and their friends and family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scorched Hearts for Bitter Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii, so this is the third part to my little series here. I think I got carried away, this was supposed to be only two chapters... anyways as the story continues and I flesh out the plot I'll add more tags but this should cover it for now. It picks up from the third chapter of Given Another Chance.

"Michael?"

"Hmm?"

"Mikey wake up," Calum opened the blinds in their room, letting the sunlight stream in. When the older refused to so much as open an eye Calum decides to take desperate measures. He yanks the sheets off his husband, making the blonde curl up in a tight ball.

"What the hell Calum?" Michael groaned finally opening his eyes. Calum stayed where he was, leaning against the chest of drawers and rolled his eyes.

"You are a twenty four year old man," Calum said finally sitting on the bed. "We leave for tour today babe."

"That's today?" Michael asks groggily sitting up, Calum couldn't help but fond over the way Michael's hair stood up, the natural dirty blonde locks finally growing out healthy. He watches Michael stretch going easily when his husband pulls him into a tight hug.

"Yes that's today and we're supposed to be at the airport already," Calum chides softly, pressing a kiss to Michael's cheek. He wonders why he spent so long hating this love when he could've enjoyed this bliss so much longer than the five years they had been together. "Come on."

Calum makes to get off the bed, Michael tightening his grip around his waist.Good thing he had packed their bags early in the morning, before the sun had came up. Everything was ready to go except for Michael who was now incessantly pressing kisses to Calum's neck and temple. "How much time do we have?" Michael whispers in Calum's ear sending a thrill down his spine.

"An hour," Calum says breathlessly, leaning his head back on Michael's shoulders.

"I bet I can make you come in thirty," Michael says roughly, already sliding a hand down Calum's shorts. He could already feel himself becoming hard, Michael's breath hot on his neck. Calum could feel Michael tracing circles on the junction of his hip and thigh. Yeah, he probably could.

"Try me," He says instead, turning to straddle his lover, pressing open mouth kisses on Michael's bare chest.

\----

"Are we late?" Calum asks, out of breath. Jessie stands in front of security, arms crossed and her phone in her hand.

"Yeah they're here," Jessie quips into her phone before hanging up, sending a death glare to Calum and Michael.

"I don't know Cal, your plane leaves in ten minutes." So maybe Calum had held out longer that what he thought, and then they both had to shower again, and by the time they actually got out the door of the beach house...

"Sorry we got held up," Michael offers, even though Jessie's eyes narrow in on the love bites on Michael's neck. Nothing escapes her, Calum muses, shes like a mother hen. She laughs fondly walking towards them and shaking her head. 

"What am I going to do with you two?" She says wrapping them up in a hug. Calum breathes her in, she smells like home. Like bonfires and good food, like that earthy perfume Mali had given her for her twenty third birthday, like the sea air of Sydney. Calum feels guilty for closing himself off from the brunette for so long. It's a shame she won't be joining them on tour but she is busy running her life, and sometimes Luke's. 

"I don't know," Calum answer truthfully, picking up his carry on from the floor. "See you for the wedding?"

Jessie smiles, "Yep, in three months. Where do you guys fly in from?"

"I think Italy," Michael shrugs, weaving his fingers with Calum's. Jessie checks her phone, eyes widening. "What?"

"Time for you guys to leave," She pushes them towards security. "Go, go. Rock the world you two!"

"We plan on rocking more than that," Michael calls back giving Calum a cheshire grin. Calum just wanted to make it on the plane.  
  
  


"Finally, what took so long?" Luke says in lieu of greeting, clapping Calum on the shoulder. He was still uneasy around Luke, always afraid the old angry and bitter Luke will come back and make Calum snap again. He just couldn't trust the guy who had given him one too many black eyes.

The private plane Luke had gotten them was spacious, Ashton already curled onto a seat with a book. The twenty five year old looked happy and content. Living with Bryana was good for him Calum decided, the model turned nurse kept him grounded. Calum can't help but wonder if Ashton had forgiven them all though, he seemed to always keep them at a distance. Except for Jessie, Calum corrects, they cling together like koalas. He hoped to one day talk it out with the blonde, apologize for being a shit friend and band mate. Today wasn't it though, not with everyone excited and happy for tour.

"We were busy," is all Calum says, hoisting his carry on into one of the compartments above.

"Busy fucking?" Ashton supplies grinning. Michael makes a noise in the back of throat, flipping off Ashton.

"Love-making, no need to be crude," Michael retorts, sitting down next to him either way. Calum takes the seat across dumping his back pack in the seat next to him, letting Luke know he was not welcomed. Petty, he knows, but Calum was still wary around him. They had way too different personalities for a ten hour flight.

He settles in, Luke taking the seat in front of him, covering himself with a blanket. He had woken up early after all. He was especially tired after the 'love-making' him and Michael had had. A long nap is what he needed.  Hong Kong here they come.

*

**Hong Kong, the next afternoon.**

"Yes I understand, thank you for taking on our case. No, no it really is okay," Calum watches Michael hang up the phone silently, looking miserable. He walks up to him, gently pulling the shorter man to his chest.

"Was that the adoption agency?" Calum asks in a whisper, already knowing the answer. He can feel the tears prick his own eyes. He wouldn't cry, not in front of Michael. As much as Calum wanted kids, he was starting to believe the hurt wasn't worth it right now. 

"Yeah," Michael says weakly, gripping at Calum's shirt tighter, he can feel the tears from Michael seeping into his shoulder. He doesn't care just rubs Michael's back until the sobs subside. "They declined our application," Michael says quietly. This was the third one in eight months.

Calum lets out an angry laugh, "What was it this time? Our work schedule? Or my favorite, 'unfavorable conditions to raise a child'? Because it sure as hell ain't the money issue the first bastard fed to us."

"She said it was the work schedule," Michael says in between hiccups. Calum leads them to the bed, wrapping Michael up in a hug. There was technically another room for Michael next to Calum's, solely for the same reason the hotel manager had congratulated Calum on his marriage to a lucky _lady._ Even when Michael wore the matching ring around his neck. Now they couldn't adopt for the same reason.

"There's one more agency we haven't tried in Australia," Calum says lowly, letting them fall back against the bed. "We can fill out everything again when we have our break for Luke and Jessie's wedding."

"I'm tired of this," Michael mumbles against his neck, wrapping his arm Calum's middle. Calum lets him, let's him deflect the issue for a few moments. "Lets sleep."

"Mike..."

"No Calum," Michael snaps sitting up. "I am tired of being rejected because its us, because we're _married_. I am done talking about this for the night." Calum lets Michael stalk off to the bathroom, lets him run a bath without joining. He is tired too, but he is also angry. An anger that burns white hot in his veins. It makes him want to scream at the top of his lungs, to go hurt something. He's glad he only told Jessie about them trying to adopt, the other two don't know. They wouldn't understand the pain and anger. He shoots off a text to Jessie, telling her about the rejection before turning off the phone.

It's the reason they haven't bought a house in Australia. They want a family and if they couldn't have that in Sydney... well that's why they had a real estate agent in L.A sending in different pictures of houses every month. Hell they had a real estate agent in London, at least Calum would have Mali there. He lets a few more tears fall before wiping his eyes and shrugging out of his clothes, slipping under the covers in just his boxers. Michael was right, they should just sleep. 

Michael comes out a few minutes later, smelling of fancy soap, and slips in next to Calum facing him. Calum keeps his eyes closed, letting Michael trace his features. "We'll give it one more go, my love. If not we drop it and move to L.A. Start everything over there." He feels Michael press a kiss to his temple before clicking off the lights.

Calum pulls Michael towards him, refusing to let him sleep more than an inch away. His husband didn't deserve this, he wishes Michael didn't have to go through this pain.

*

**Hong Kong, the next night.**

"Thank you Hong Kong!" Luke yells into the mic stand, waving the boys forward for the final bow. They had one more show tomorrow night before they head to Beijing, but it was always a thrill to stand at the edge of the stage and give one last bow. Always exciting to see the fans faces at the front. 

Calum wedges his way between Ashton and Michael, slinging an arm around Michael's shoulders. Michael gives him a warning look, but Calum is done caring. Who cares if the Asian, Dubai, and South African leg of the tour gets canceled because of them. _Who fucking cares_. They take their last bow before running off stage. Calum can feel the air charged with electricity, making his blood simmer. It makes him reckless.

 Calum keeps on running, dragging Michael along with him to the cars. He shoves him in and tells the driver to step on it. Michael tries to fight Calum on it, but Calum shuts him up with a heated kiss. Michael leans into it, gripping Calum's jaw tight with one hand, the other at his neck. 

At the hotel, Michael barely has the door closed before Calum has him pinned against the wall, hands above his head. "Do you want this?" Calum whispers staring into those green eyes he loves so much. Michael caresses his cheek, smirking lightly. 

"Yes," the words barely leave his mouth before Calum is kissing his husband, letting his tongue slip into his mouth. Michael moans, fighting against Calum's grip. Calum relents, opting to rid Michael of his shirt and belt in the time it takes for Michael to get Calum's shirt off. Michael lifts Calum up, turning them around. Calum slams against the wall as Michael grinds his hips into Calum's. Tangling his fingers in Michael's hair, Calum tugs hard. He can feel Michael's fingers digging into his thighs, the pressure making him moan into Michael's mouth.

Calum pulls back just enough to look at Michael, "We're on top of the world tonight." Michael shuts Calum up with a kiss, already walking backwards towards the bed.


	2. Paradise can be a Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum wishes he could give Michael the world without hate; Calum struggles with his feelings as per usual. Michael wishes Calum could see he didn't need the world, just Calum. They both realize they're happier when they compromise.

**Jakarta, Indonesia. Three weeks later**  
  
  


"What about this one Mikey?" Calum nudges the laptop towards Michael, taking a sip of his coffee. They were currently hiding on the deck of their own private pool at their hotel, the morning heat already causing sweat beads to form along Calum's hairline.

"Its only three bedrooms," Michael notes, scrolling down the page. Their roles are flipped this week. Michael wears the wedding band while Calum's sits on his chest, hidden half the time by his shirts. Today though he is shirtless, and the two metal rings rest against his chest gently.

"What do you mean its only three bedrooms?" Calum raises an eyebrow at his husband, "It has a great backyard, its in a good neighborhood, in a private residence."

"It only has three bedrooms," Michael says again taking a bit out of his toast. He shrugs, " I thought we were looking at four to five bedroom homes?"

"What are we going to do with a five bedroom home when its only going to be the two of us," Calum says without thinking. Its Michael's turn to frown at him and Calum races to fix his words. "For the time being, I mean, and even when we have a kid. That's three more bedrooms then we need."

"What happened to having a big family?" Michael asks dryly, stealing Calum's yogurt and berries. Calum winces, now was not the time to have this argument. Not when they were in Indonesia with two whole days to themselves before a show. He wanted to find Ashton so badly and go exploring. 

"Of course I want a big family Michael," Calum says truthfully reaching for Michael's hand. "Lets just focus on having one, babe." Michael nods but stand up nonetheless, getting his coffee and walking back into their room. He had been in a mood since Hong Kong, Calum was slowly feeling his patience leave.

Calum sits in silence until Luke makes his presence known. "Sorry to have eavesdropped but that was one loaded conversation."

Calum bangs his head against the table, shutting the laptop off. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough," Luke admits, sitting across Calum. "I didn't know you and Mike were trying to adopt."

"No one knows," Calum mumbles, leaving out the fact that Jessie does indeed know. "We've had issues with the agencies and didn't want to always be giving out bad news." Luke nods, staring at Calum.

Calum sighs and spills whats on his mind, only because Jessie isn't here. "Michael want this big family, okay, he want to adopt. He want to have biological children, and I just -- I would be happy with one. Its stupid I know, and I want Michael to be happy, god knows I put him through enough shit already." Calum drops his head again, the rings clinking together on the table.

"I've had that same conversation with Jessie," Luke says quietly, moving towards Calum.

"Really?" Calum peeks at Luke, god they were all too young for this.

"Yeah," Luke laughs, shaking his head. "I want a big family at least three kids, and Jessie, she wants one, just one. It's an ongoing argument, but I think I'm ready to give it up and agree with her."

Calum sighs, sitting back. "You two planning to have them as soon as possible?" Luke laughs and shakes his head again.

"Hell no, not with the two of us so busy we barely see each other." Luke sobers up, giving Calum a serious look. "Hey I know you want to give Michael the world, and he deserves it, but listen, you are twenty three and twenty four, have only been married for a year and half. Maybe now's not the time." Calum lets the words sink in, settle in his chest and soul. Maybe Luke was right for once.

"I'll talk to Mike."

"Not tonight," Luke says standing up.

"Why not?" Calum asks draining his now cold coffee.

"We're going out partying, you two need to loosen up," Luke shrugs and heads off in the direction of his room. Leaving Calum alone with his thoughts.

*

"Hey Jess, I wish you could be here with me," Calum catches Luke sniffling into his phone on the balcony of the club they were in, staying in the shadows. "I know you're probably waking up in like thirty minutes, so morning I love you." Calum takes a step foreword unsure what to do. Now that all of them had someone, it was becoming harder not to become homesick. He watches Luke lean over the railing, the city lights casting a glow over the blonde. 

"The skyline is beautiful isn't it?" Calum finally says walking over towards Luke and handing him a beer.

"Sure is," Luke nods eyeing Calum. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough," Calum shrugs.

"Where's Michael?" Luke says taking a sip of the beer.

"Dancing with Ashton," Calum isn't even sure where Michael is. The blonde had shrugged him off the moment they had stepped in the club. Calum sighs, resting against the railing himself. He had some making up to do. 

"Lets go dance then, and stop moping," Luke knocks his shoulder against Calum's earning a laugh. They walk back into the disarray of the club, Calum swaying his hips to the beat of the music. Lights dance around the club, pulling Calum towards the dance floor. No matter what dancing was always a stress reliever.   
  
  


Calum finds Michael dancing with a tall, dark, and very much beautiful woman. They're pressed together but Calum can see Michael's hands, not wondering any lower than her waist, the woman's hands wound around his husbands neck.  And fuck, Calum thinks, he forgets Michael is also attracted to girls. He feels a flare of jealous in his belly, watching the pair move sensually to the slow music.   

Hypnotized Calum makes his way over to them, dancing behind the woman, dark curls falling down past her back. Michael's hand shoots out, grabbing Calum's wrist and tugs him closer a smirk on his face. Calum presses against the woman carefully, intertwining his arms with Michael's. He starts moving slowly, watching as the woman cocks her head whispering something in Michael's ear. Michael nods, staring straight into Calum's eyes. The girl turns over facing Calum and gives a bright smile. Calum smiles back tilting his head in a greeting.

She starts pressing kisses to Calum's neck and Calum's eyes snap up to Michael's who's own orbs are blown in lust. Michael nods answering the question on the tip of his tongue. Slowly Calum bends meeting the girls lips at the same time Michael kisses the woman's neck. "Let's go back the hotel." Michael growls, just loud enough for the two of them to hear. The woman turns around pressing her lips to Michael's before stepping out of their embrace.

The woman chuckles low and throaty, "Sorry boys, as much as I want to, and I do, I've got a club to run." She kisses both of them on the cheek, leaving Calum gasping for air.  
"What?" Michael gets out 

"I'm the owner of this club," the lady smirks, "thank you for coming. " and with a wink she walks off hips swaying sexily. 

"Fuuuck," Calum lets out, turning to look and Michael.  
"Uh huh." Michael swallows hard.

"You two!" Ashton waves a hand in front of them snapping them out of their euphoria. "Time to go." Numbly Calum follows Ashton, Michael stumbling a few steps behind.

*  
**En route to Manila**

Calum held Michael loosely in his arms, the blonde shifting to rest his head in the nook of Calums shoulders. He felt good about the decisions he had made over coffee this morning. All he needed to do was talk it over with Michael now.

"All's well that ends well?" Ashton and Luke peek their heads up from the seats in front of the couple, looking genuinely concerned. Calum gives them a small smile, he was glad they cared.

"Haven't talked to him yet," he smooths down the hair that sticks up making Michael stretch and cling tighter Calum. "I will when he wakes up."

The other two share a look before standing up and moving to the last row of the plane in the back. "Remember comprise!" Luke shouts in a faux whisper before getting dragged down my Ashton.

"What the fuck is Luke yelling about?" Calum chuckles, letting Michael rouse himself out of his nap. He sits up rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing babe," Calum laughs again grabbing at his spouse. Michael relents, shifting to sit in between Calum's legs. "There's is something I do want to talk about with you, though." He traces circles on Michael's chest waiting for Michael to either fall back asleep or speak up.

"Is about the adoption thing?" Michael voices quietly, picking at a loose thread in the blanket he had been covered with.

"Yes and no," Calum answers thoughtfully, trying to find the right words. "I thinking maybe we could put off adopting a kid for right now. I mean look at us babe, were on tour for eight more months, we have another album out in six and lord knows that press tour will continue after tour ends."

"So what you're saying is we shouldn't have kids?" Michael asks looking up at Calum.

"Here's what I was thinking about," Calum presses a kiss to Michael's forehead waiting until the older man gives s nod. "We hold off until the press tour is done, then start looking back into it, but how about we move to L.A? Adopt a puppy --"

"Kitten." Michael interrupts, Calum wishes he could see Michael's face. Whether a he's being serious or joking.

"Adopt a pet," Calum mends continuing,"move to L.A get settled. Then think about adopting a kid, if we can raise take care of a kitten and puppy I think we can take care of a baby. "

He holds his breath waiting for Michael to say anything, to yell at him, to say he regrets marrying him. Instead Michael led out a loud laugh, knocking his head back on Calum's chest. "Calum Hood, I knew I married you for a reason, and wasn't because of your looks!" Michael sits up and turns to look at a teasing grin at his lips. Calum did not expect that.

Michael's eyes soften as he cups Calum's cheek pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "I see what you're doing, and I think you're right. What made you decide on L.A?" 

"You always show me houses from there," Calum answers smoothly, not bringing up the conversation from a few nights ago. "You like it there, I like it there. No big deal."

Michael lets out a breath sitting back, "Okay Calum, we move to L.A we adopt a puppy, we relax. I have one question though."

"What is it?"

"Do you still feel ashamed of being with me?" Michael asks in a small voice, blinking his eyes quickly. Calum feels punched in the face, how could Michael think like this? He pulls his husband back into his arms. Resting his chin on top of Michael's. What made him think that?

"Never my love," Calum whispers forcefully. "Don't ever think like that again. I am done being ashamed of loving you, if I could I would shout it at every concert how much I love you."

"I'm sorry," Michael sniffles. "I - it's just you never showed so much emotion over the rejections and you seemed so disinterested in house hunting... I should've just talked to you."

"No it's okay, I need to work on that." Calum murmurs rubbing Michael's back. "But I'm just as excited to move and start a proper life with you."

"When do you want to move to L.A? Michael speaks up after Calum has started dozing off again.

"Hmmm we can make a trip during our off time in December?"

"Sounds good," Michael whisper laying back down. His breathing deepens after a few minutes and Calum begins dozing off again.

"I love you," is all Calum says before surrendering to sleep.

*  
**Dubai, UAE. Three weeks later.**

It was their last day in Dubai. They had a concert tonight. And Calum was high off their energy. Each concert got bigger and better, more louder. He loved seeing to tension mount, the countdowns, how fan project came to be from one mindless tweet to having a stadium filled with signs and twinkling lights.

"What are you thinking about Hood?" Ashton splashes water at him bringing him out of his day dreams. They're all currently sat in the infinity pool that came with their suite, the heat way too unbearable to go out and explore again.

"The fans," Calum shrugs splashing water back. "The concerts, the energy seems much more intense than before."

"They've missed us," Ashton states swimming over to the bassist. "They never really knew why we took that hiatus, probably blamed it on me. Probably didn't think we would come back, and then to see ourselves get our shit together and go on tour that's pretty exciting" Calum nods leaning over the edge of the pool, he eyes Michael and Luke floating on little lily pad inflatables. He has half a mind to flip them over.

"Have the fans figured out you and Michael are married? Because I see a lot of Malum signs just as much as I see signs for you to marry them," Ashton giggles pressing his back to the glass wall. Calum looks him over happy to see how healthy he has gotten, so muscular now and glowing. A tan always on him, his hair cropped short in something that resembles his haircut from 2013.

"I know they know we were dating and engaged, only because it made the news and Michael's not subtle-"

"Shut up Calum!" Michael yells, lazily flipping him off.

"But I don't think they figured out we got married," Calum finishes flipping Michael off right back.

"They'll figure it out for sure once we hit Europe. You guys are going to wear your rings right?" Ashton asks pointing to rings around Calum's neck. Michael had done the same if solely for the fact that Calum had stopped wearing his rings since Jakarta. That was five shows ago.

"We sure as hell are," Michael yells again, wading his way over to Calum and Ashton. "Ain't no body making a pass at my husband once we hit Europe." Michael slaps Calum's rear earning splashes from both Ashton and Calum. "I'm going in, I can feel my skin peeling off."

Calum follows Michael to the other end of the pool, where the deck starts and leads to the bands suites. He watched Michael look around warily before kneeling giving Calum the barest of kisses. "Join me for a nap in a little?" Calum nods giving one more kiss to Michael's hand before letting him go.

He turns around and watches Ashton and Luke fight over who gets a lily pad, even though there's four and Luke is only taking up two. 

"I would keep your affections within private walls." A voice startled him, making him look over shoulder. It's a waitress dropping off the drinks they had ordered a while ago.

"It's not your --"

The girl hold up a hand, bringing her headscarf closer around her head. She's young, can't be older than Calum. "A few nights ago a man was almost drowned because of a careless embrace," the girl lets out a shaky breath handing Calum is drink. "Just a warning, people like us have to stick together," Calum watches her recompose herself, with a wink she hoists her tray up off the table walking away.

The warning is enough to keep Calum out laying in the sun and heat log after Ashton and Luke go inside, red and forming sunburns. Calum laughs, he knows he'll just darker.  
"Calum?" 

"Hmm?" Calum turns to his side watching Michael lean against the door frame looking a little confused. He holds out his hand, crooking a finger at Calum. 

"Cally come inside we have a show in two hours, you need to rest," the innocence of Michael's childhood nickname is enough to get him to walk back into the suite. "Look at you, so dark. Did you even put sunscreen on?" Calum shakes his head quirking his lips. He doesn't have the heart to tell Michael about the waitress's warning. 

Instead he pulls down the blinds and wraps Michael up in his arms, pressing soft kisses to the un-burned spots in his collarbone and chest. "Nap with me?"  
Michael rolls his eyes but nods, "Of course Cal."

*  
**Rome, Italy. One month later.**

Italy was a blur. As was Spain and Portugal. They didn't have that many days off and all four of them are exhausted. Michael leans on Calum heavily, arms wrapped around his waist. True to his husbands words they haven't taken off their rings since they first landed in Rome from Dubai. They've kept the affection to a minimum but really who gave a shit. Very few people have given them ugly stares at this point. No one could resist Michael's laugh or Calum's charm for long . It also helped they looked good together, or so Ashton had pointed out, mumbling things about aesthetics and color.

Now there was a three week vacation awaiting them. As well as Luke's wedding. Which was becoming very real as the day came closer. Luke was constantly on the phone with Jessie and Jessie was constantly texting either one of the boys to tell Luke to chill. Calum had faith that Jessie would knock some sense into Luke once they reached Sydney.

Sydney they're home for just s few more months.

"Babe time to board," Michael whispers into Calum's ear startling him. He nods and picks up his bass and carry on following Luke and Ashton who are already making their way to the private loading area. Michael grabs Calum's free hand, swinging their arms. "I feel like our lives are really going to start after this. After Luke's wedding."  
"What makes you say that?" Calum asks as they head down the stairs, onto the runway.

"I don't know," Michael shrugs his sunnies masking his expression. "I just feel like we told fate fuck you and now it's letting us be happy."

Calum grins, "I guess your right these past three months have been a test on our marriage. Time for fate to fuck off a little." They board the plane settling in the middle, Luke in the back slipping on head phones and Ashton in front of them trying to down water while he takes his meds. Calum sticks one headphone in his ear, offering the other to Michael. Michael takes it, placing a kiss on Calum's cheek.

Yeah time for fate to fuck off for the next few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I fucked up anywhere let me know :) thank you.


	3. Friendship is A Beautiful Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum is put in charge of best man duties, this leads to drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where do I come up with this stuff..... anyways enjoy!!

**Sydney, a week later.**

"Michael? Calum?" 

Michael groaned sinking down on Calum. He laughs hotly, bucking his hips up. Damn Luke, he thinks, gripping Michael's hips tightly. He presses a kiss to his chest. "Shh..." Calum recaptures Michael's lips, slow and easy. He needed Michael quiet. 

"Is it okay if I crash here for the rest of the day?" Luke yells, the distinct sound of cabinets slamming becoming louder. 

Michael rolls his eyes bouncing slightly, earning a soft moan from Calum. Michael picks up his pace, holding onto Calum's shoulders as he rides him.  A whimper escapes Calum's mouth making Michael grin, rolling his hips. Fuck, Calum loved seeing Michael like this. 

"Who - gave... him, the bloody spare?" Michael gets out, sucking a mark on Calum's collarbone. Calum could only laugh, his fingers sliding against Michael's soft skin. 

Calum stills Michael, shaking his head. Their love making session was going to have to be quick, before Luke got the idea to walk in. He turns them over pressing Michael into the bed, hips raised. Calum pulls out almost all the way before thrusting back into Michael bottoming out. "Come for me Michael," Calum nips at at his husbands ear, angling himself better. He thrusts into him harder each time, drawing gasps from the blonde. 

Michael moans loudly, clutching at the sheets. "Cal..." Calum doesn't relent thrusting into Michael, he brushes against his prostate almost every time. Michael squirms under him, meeting him as he tosses his head back. "Fuck Cal harder." He can feel Michael's legs tighten around him, back arching. Filthy words falling from both their mouths loudly in a sort prayer. 

Calum picks up speed, finding a rhythm. Rolling his hips and draping himself over Michael. He wraps a hand around Michael's cock, stroking quickly. He kisses up and down Michael's shoulders and chest making the man tremble. "Not... gunna... last," Michael huffs out pressing up against Calum's chest.Michael's hips jerking recklessly, desperate. He wraps his arms around Michael's waist, he hits his prostate feeling Michael clench around him. Calum felt a low heat pool at the bottom of his stomach, spurring him on. Moving both his and Michael's hands to the headboard, fucking Michael harder. "Calum!" 

Calum slams into Michael a few more times before Michael is coming, shooting against his own belly. Calum coming a few seconds later deep inside Michael. They both still, Calum falling onto the bed, muffling laughs. They rest in each others arms, Michael reaching up to move a lock of hair falling into Calum's eyes softly. "We should shower," Calum finally says after a few moments, sitting up lazily. It was too tempting to just fall asleep in Michael's arms and ignore Luke for the rest of the day.

"Few more minutes?" Michael pouts already slinging an arm and leg over Calum. Calum gives in stroking Michael's back. Michael kisses him gently, ghosting over his lips and cheeks. He sighs, wrapping his arms around his husband. 

"Okay but if Luke walks in..."

"Nothing he hasn't seen or heard before," Michael protests kissing Calum on the corner of his mouth. Calum let's himself doze, closing his eyes to the harsh light pouring through the windows. 

 

"Luke how the fuck did you get in here?" Calum can't help but laugh at Michael's bluntness as they make their way into the kitchen, Luke eating a bowl of cereal. Luke smiles around a spoonful of the sugary stuff, waving. 

"What Michael means to say is hi, what brings you here?" Calum corrects starting a pot of coffee even though its already one in the afternoon. Luke shrugs, spooning in another mouthful of cereal. 

"There is way too many family members at the house for me to handle," Luke finally says. "Also everyone still has a key to the beach house, just Jessie gave hers up so Michael could have one."

Michael spits out his coffee, wiping his hand over his mouth. "You're saying that anyone could walk in, and disrupt our domestic life with nonsense like you can't handle Jessie's family?" Calum grimaces, picking up a dishrag to clean Michael's mess. 

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Luke grins, kicking his feet up on the counter. 

"Feet off," Calum shoves Luke's feet back off, turning to pour a cup of coffee. He felt more like a nagging mother as the seconds went by. He starts wiping down the counters, making Luke pick up his bowl. 

"I like the bite marks Cal," Luke teases and Calum regrets not putting on a shirt. 

"Fuck off Luke," Calum grumbles sliding into a stool. "Did Jess kick you out?"

"She all but pushed me out the door saying I was spazzing her out,"  Luke waves around getting up to pour himself a cup of coffee. "She's freaking out over little things and she claims I'm being overbearing." Calum raises a brow at the blonde, giving him a pointed look. "Okay maybe I'm helping too much." 

"I think we need to throw you a stag party," Calum says casually, taking a bowl of cereal from Michael's hands. "Just us four guys." 

"Sounds like a good plan," Michael joins in, "We never got one." Calum rolls his eyes at Michael's despondent look, giving Michael sloppy kisses on his cheeks. 

"We didn't have time," Luke comments going over the living room and flopping on the couch. He turns on the t.v channel flipping. "So I can spend the night? This is technically your house now." Calum shrugs, its no big deal now. It was everyone's house still.  

"Go for it Luke, but if Jessie comes here yelling, we're kicking you back out," Michael laughs, patting Luke on the back. "So tomorrow night, all four of us go out to the bar scene?" 

"Sounds great let me tell Jessie," Luke smiles walking out to the deck. 

*

"Look at this house," Michael says climbing into bed with their laptop. "Its in Calabasas." Calum sits up, flicking on the lights. He really just wants to sleep. He hadn't slept enough in southern Europe and all he desperately wants to do now is sleep. 

"This couldn't wait until morning?" Calum asks groggily, shoving curls out of his face. 

"No, look. The agent sent it in like two hours ago. I think it might be the one," Michael whispers, plopping the laptop in Calum's lap. He blearily stares at the screen waiting for his eyes to adjust. When his eyes do adjust he find himself staring at a two story house with a pool and large backyard. "Look, it has five bedrooms and four baths. Three car garage with a pool and Jacuzzi, open space floor plan..." Michael scrolls through the pictures on the screen showing Calum state of the art appliances and a brick fireplace, wooden floors with a spiral staircase and carpet in the bedrooms. It was cozy and modern all in one, something Calum enjoyed. 

"Its also in a gated community, so its safe and away from prying eyes," Michael mutters turning his head towards Calum. Calum surges forward capturing Michael's lips in his own. He deepens the kiss enough to trace michael's bottom lip gently biting down. 

"I love it," Calum whispers, staring at the computer again. 

"Really? It has two bedrooms on the bottom, three and an office on top," Michael murmurs, cupping Calum's cheek. "We have enough space for a puppy and kitten, plus kids."

"Whats the price range?" Calum hates to ask but he rather get something that won't take his and his kids lifetime to pay off.

"Um," Michael clicks out of the photos refocusing on the information the agent emailed. "Its between 500k and one million." Michael lowers the laptop focusing his gaze at Calum. He fumbles with his hands, looking away from Calum. "What do you think?" 

Calum thinks its over, its in a good neighborhood, it has plenty of room. Calum bites his lip, doing mental math, if album sales were good and if there was another tour... "Put in a bid Mikey."

"What?" Michael asks already opening up the laptop. "Are you serious?"

"Sure am babe, lets check it out in December and then we can go from there," Calum says settling back under the covers as Michael types away. He can feel everything settling into place. He falls asleep to Michael pressing up against him, sliding a leg in between his own and an arm draped across his waist. 

* 

They all settled into their seats, Calum feeling more than slightly buzzed. The whole night had been great, starting with the shots they had done at the beach house to the various clubs the had gone to, downing the best liquor. Michael nudges him, cheeks flushed and eyes slightly glazed. That could be attributed to the joint they had all shared, Calum feels himself smile nudging Michael back. Michael giggles, standing up and pointing towards Luke. The blonde in question smiles back, raising his beer.

"Luke you may be a pain in the ass ninety percent of the time," Michael begins, raising his beer in the air. The small bar their currently occupying is buzzing, good music blasting through the speakers. It was full of well dressed goers some coming from a few streets away, from Jessie's restaurant. "But its the ten percent that makes me wish you the best in your marriage, Jessie is lucky to have you." The guys laugh raising their beers in salute. Calum taps his foot to the beat of the music, letting Michael rattle off his congratulations and reminiscing about the past. He must drunk. 

Calum stands up next, placing a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Mate, we've been through a lot and I'm glad you're including us all in the wedding procession but if you scare Jessie away I will kill you." Calum lets out a laugh. "No but seriously, you've turned into a great man and I hope you find happiness in your marriage like I did in mine," Calum winks at Michael. "The beach house is always yours to crash in if you need too." Luke laughs knocking his bottle against Calum's. Differences and past altercations aside, Calum did wish the best for Luke. Jessie was his better half and he hoped Luke didn't screw it up a second time. 

Finally Ashton stands up, pointing his own bottle at Luke. "You better not hurt her, Luke. You two are great for each other and I can't wait for what the future brings for you guys. Here's to your last night as a single man!" They all shout causing more than a few of the other bar hoppers to stare at them.When they quiet down Ashton continues. "Differences aside mate, its good to see you happy again, love is a great thing. I'm sure you'll be fine." 

"Thank you guys," Luke says calmly. "We've been through so much I'm glad that we've come to this point in time. I wouldn't anyone else here but you three pain in the asses." Luke smiles at them, reaching for them. They pile up in a hug, Calum thinking back to twitcams and annoying screams. This feels much more natural than those times, they pull apart, Luke and Ashton rushing off to the dance floor.  Calum knocks back the last of his beer, settling on Michael's lap. The night was ending on a perfect note. 

*

"Calum!" Calum is met with long limbs and long hair. Calum hugs Jade back, he was fond of Jessie's niece. She was so full of energy and passion, Calum wished she lived over here instead of Dallas. He wonders what she was going to achieve in her future. The sixteen year old pulled away grinning up at Calum. "Jessie's in her room, I need to go help with cleaning the pool but did you want anything?" 

"I'm good Jade," Calum says ruffling the teenagers hair. "Did Jessie tell you why she wanted me?"

Jade's grin drops and she looks around nervous, "Things have been tense between my mom and Luke's. I think its stressing Jessie out. That's all she's told me." Theres yelling in the distance and then a child crying, Jessie's nephews Calum thinks, glancing towards the kitchen. There were toys spread out everywhere, blonde and brunette toddlers running every which way. 

"Her dress also doesn't fit." Someone calls her in the distance and she runs off giving Calum a wave. Calum makes his way up the stairs following the sound of rock music to Jessie and Luke's room. 

"Jessie, hey," Calum walks into the room, jessie standing by the window in what Calum can only guess is her wedding dress. She's clutching the front of the dress the plain tulle skirt spreading around her gracefully. A bow sits messily on the small of her back. The deep back reveals toned muscle. He moves closer, noticing how much excess fabric there actually is around the bust and waist. 

"It doesn't fit," Jessie sniffs, grabbing a robe off the chaise. "Look at it, its too big!" She storms off into the bathroom and Calum sits on the bed, shouldn't it be the other way around? And why wasn't Mali or Bryana here? They would be much better at this than he was. Why did she want him here?

He waits until Jessie comes back out wrapped in her robe, loose hair falling down her back. There's dark circles under her honey colored eyes, making her look like she hasn't slept in a few days. She probably hasn't. "Sorry about that. I just feel like its money gone to waste, I lost too much weight and now I can't get it fixed in time." She sits at the chaise, looking out the window. She's all toned muscle now, cheekbones sharp. Calum studies her more, moving to poke her collarbone. "I'm eating Calum. Ask Jade, I downed a steak and salad yesterday. Had pancakes this morning, I've trying to fit back into that damn dress." Calum relaxes, his worries at ease.

"I was just concerned okay," He offers. 

"Enough about me though, I have another dress. I wanted to check up on you," She says quietly still looking out.

"You shouldn't be worrying about me, your wedding is in three days," Calum replies edging closer to Jessie. "You already have another dress?"

"I got two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the dance," Jessie shrugs like its no big deal.  "The second one still fits great, just a little loose around my hips." She sighs, resting her head on the edge of the chaise. "Did you fix things with Mike? I need to take my mind off this wedding and my family bickering with Luke's family. So just humor me and tell me your problems instead." Calum laughs, staring at a spot in the wall.

"We found a house," Calum blurts out looking at his clasped hands. "Its in L.A."

"So you decided to go that route," Jessie states, not mean but not excited either. She really must be exhausted and frustrated, Calum muses, to have lost her usual spark in her. 

"Yeah, but we put off adopting until we move over there," Calum gives a laugh staring up at the ceiling. "We're going to adopt a puppy, and maybe a kitten." He thinks he can handle a kitten, if not that was Michael's responsibility. 

"How cute, really I mean it," Jessie laughs dryly. "Its nice to see you guys moving on." She twists her engagement ring, the glittering diamond reflecting the afternoon sun. He had already seen the bands, Jessie's was gold with diamonds surrounding it and their date engraved inside. He had called Luke a sap. 

"Jessica, does Mrs. Hemmings know how to bake?" Calum can just make out the voice as Jessie's aunt, he stares at her watching her scrunch up her face. She falls back on the chaise dramatically, waving towards the door.

"Close the door please." Calum does what Jessie asks closing the door quietly. 

"Nothing like mine and Michael's ceremony?" He goes over to her picking up her feet and sitting on the chaise. He can feel her relax, even if its only a little bit. 

"Nope," Jessie cracks a smile. It had been a quiet ceremony in L.A. Just the five of them at the courts. After that they had all gone to some fancy Asian restaurant eating sushi and drinking Saki. "Though, I kinda wish I had gone your route Cal."

"Nope, stop there. This is what you want, you're just stressed," Calum says picking her up onto her feet. "Try on the second dress I want to see how it looks." Jessie nods, grabbing a long bag from the door rack. "Then you're going to take a bath in that nice below ground tub you have, while I tell your family to fuck off." Jessie really laughs then shutting the bathroom door behind her. Calum sits back down, crossing his arms behind his head.

"Remind me to talk to Michael after the wedding, I want to hear his point of view on things," Jessie remarks, opening the door.

"Woman isn't it enough that I talk to you?" Calum says watching Jessie walk out. This dress fits better, tighter all over with jewels and beads forming a design on the shoulders. The rest of the dress is a plain silky off white, hitting all the way to the floor. In a way its much more her than the big skirt and bow dress she had sported earlier. "You look stunning Jessie, that really is the right dress." 

"You think so?" Jessie moves her hair out of her face shyly, the chocolate locks complimenting her. 

"Yes absolutely." Calum says again, twirling Jessie. She giggles and looks out the window again where her nephews are playing some game that involves bows and arrows with Luke's neices, Jade trying to bring in gallons of iced tea. "Go, take a bath. I'll tell Luke to get his ass over here and I'll help with what I can." 

Jessie rolls her eyes but nods, walking towards the bathroom. "Hey one last thing."

"What?"

"Sorry to overshadow yours and Mikeys second anniversary," Jessie frowns looking geniuenly upset. Calum hugs her, swaying. Poor Jessie, thinking about everyone except herself.

"Don't be our anniversary is in three weeks anyway, you're not overshadowing anything," Calum says heading out of the room. How kind of her to care about that, he thinks giving Jessie another smile. "Its fine, really."

"Okay, if I don't get to call you two; Happy anniversary." With that she closes the door, a faint click as she locks it. Calum walks out of the room, texting Luke as he makes his way down the stairs. 

Michael and him were celebrating their anniversary in the Netherlands anyways. Which means he had to plan something before they got there. He walks into the kitchen already stressed out at the way Jessie's family is running around, abusing the new kitchen and making a mess out of the living room. There was a stain too on the couch, well shit. Luke and Jessie aren't going to appreciate that. He wonders where the rest of the Hemmings family is, probably cooling off before a fist fight starts. 

He walks into the pantry pulling the cleaning supplies he knows Jessie keeps in there. It was the least he could do after all. He turns, three kids running into him. He looks down at his white t-shirt, colorful hand-prints now decorating it. Oh, Luke owed him for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might need to change the rating on this hmm......  
> find me on tumblr: 75-jetblckheart.tumblr.com


	4. Bruised Hearts Come with Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Distance makes the heart grow fonder, said by someone stronger than me."   
> Calum is afraid to spill to his fears to Michael, thinking its for the best. That it would make both of them stronger. He didn't plan on losing him at the same time.

**September**.

Calum woke up early nowadays, it was just habit. He untangles himself from Michael, leaving his spouse snoring in the cramped bunk. He dresses quickly, pressing a soft kiss to Michael's cheek before walking into the living area of the tour bus. 

He meets Ashton, taking the protein smoothie he had made for Calum. Calum slips on his sneakers, trying to drink the shake and tie his shoes at the same time. 

"Its our day off, you sure you don't want to spend it with Mike?" Ashton asks, he had asked that last night. Calum stretches, rolling his head from side to side. The sound of his back popping oddly relaxes him, the thought of going back to bed and binging on Netflix sounding like a good idea. 

"Michael will be fine." Calum heads out the bus, slipping on his headphones. He needed the run, not vegging out. Anyways he hadn't gone on a run with the drummer in a while. Calum stretches his hamstrings, seeing but not hearing Ashton's words. Ashton shakes his head and takes off running, leaving Calum behind. 

*

**October**

"Calum, come to bed," Michael says sleepily from the doorway. Calum puts his guitar down and scribbles the notes and words that just won't stop floating around his head. 

"Right now babe," Calum finally says, picking the guitar back up. He could probably write the bass notes for the song in the morning if he could just get this last bridge finished. "This song is just great, it won't leave me alone." Michael lets out a groan, raking his hands through his hair. 

"You said that last night." 

"Mike please, this is important," Calum whines, strumming a chord. He misses the look of hurt that flashes across Michael's face, catching the frown instead. "You know how song writing goes, don't be like that." 

"Its been two days Calum," Michael snaps turning around to head back to the bunks. Calum shakes his head, he needed to finish this song. "Two days of you falling asleep on that couch and then running to Ashton." He slams the door, leaving Calum to feel guilty. The words still spin in his head, though, and he finds himself picking up the pen again. 

He falls asleep on the couch. Luke wakes him up in the morning telling him Michael's already at the arena. Luke also lets him know that this was the third time, that guilty feeling settling uncomfortably in Calum's chest. Calum wipes his hands across his face, taking in a deep breath. He looks at the song written on his notepad. "Luke can you help me finish this?"

Luke sighs, twisting his wedding band. "Okay, if it means you'll finally spend time with your husband." 

 

"Calum look at this," Michael says moving over to where Calum sits in the dressing room tuning his bass. Calum glances at the photo on Michael's phone. He makes out some picture that has been floating around the internet, one Michael obviously found amusing. 

"What is it?" Calum asks going back to tuning his bass, he can hear Michael talking in the distance not really hearing what Michael is telling him. He's going over numbers in his head, this time for the house him and Michael are trying to buy. How he's going to tell his parents, and Mali that they're moving to the States. 

"Calum!" Michael waves a hand under Calum's face making him turn towards Michael. 

"What Mike?" Calum asks annoyed, Luke and Ashton share a look moving out of the room. 

"Did you not hear a word I was saying?" Michael asks in a small voice, turning the phone off. Calum tries to hold Michael's hand, hating the sadness is his eyes, but Michael pulls away crossing his arms. Anger flares in Calum, why was Michael getting so upset all the time? Couldn't he see Calum was drowning in stress? That he was scared shitless of the future? 

"No, I did not. My mind was somewhere else," Calum admits harshly just as their tour manager pops his head in. 

"Showtime lovebirds, lets go!" They both stand up Michael walking past Calum.

"You're being fucking ridiculous Calum." Calum cringes, he hated having Michael so annoyed at him. He just didn't know what to do, he was busy. His mind was somewhere else and he knew this was getting bad. 

*

**November**

Luke decides to give him a shitload of work over their two days off in London. It keeps Calum busy, shut in his and Michael's hotel room. Added on that was the promo for the new album and then playing shows every other night... Calum poured some whiskey into his coffee. 

"Are you coming to bed?" Michael asks listlessly, crossing his arms over his chest. Calum blinks at his husband. 

"I need to get this done Mikey," Calum sighs. "I'll be there right now, promise." Calum walks over to Michael, kissing his temple. Michael sighs shaking his head and walking into the bedroom. 

Calum goes back to work, digging into the piles of contracts and press scheduling. He falls asleep on the couch, woken only by his phone ringing. "Hello?"

"Cal, whats going on?" Jessie whispers into the phone, waking up Calum senses. He lets Jessie chew him out, let's her try to be the mediator. Calum can feel it in his bones just how much everything is spiraling out of control but he doesn't know how to fix it. He cleans up, closing his laptop and re-stacking the papers. Jessie herself sounds tired, her puppy yapping in the background. 

" I don't know whats going on between you two but its hurting him," Jessie says quietly, letting Calum soak in the words. "Are you two okay?"

"I've just been so busy Jessie, has he told you anything?" Calum asks, sitting on the edge of the couch. 

"You can't be that busy Calum," Jessie quips. Calum shouldn't have said that, he has personally seen Luke and Ashton juggle work and their long distance relationships, he had Michael a few feet away from him. He slumps back, rubbing his eyes."He thinks you don't want to be with him," Jessie sighs making Calum feel bad. 

"Okay I'll talk to him." 

Calum forgets to talk to him as the new day brings another round of interviews and another concert. 

 

"Michael where are you going?" Calum looks up from his phone watching the blonde stalk off. 

"Ashton's room," Michael mumbles, bringing out a duffel bag. Calum is genuinely confused, he stands and places a hand on Michael's shoulders. Michael gracefully shrugs him off, narrowing his eyes at Calum. 

"Why are you going to Ash's room?"

"Ashton invited me for a movie night," Michael shrugs looking down at his hands. "Beats sleeping alone." 

"What the fuck Mike?" Calum asks. Michael laughs bitterly picking up the duffel bag. 

"Honestly Calum? Just don't try and stop me, not tonight," Michael walks out stopping at the edge on the entrance. He doesn't look back, "I don't know what to do Calum, you don't seem to want to do anything with me lately. You're breaking your promises."

Calum doesn't sleep that night, he tosses and turns in the too big bed. Was Michael right? What was Michael even talking about? He had been nothing but supportive since they had decided to move to L.A. Granted he had been incredibly busy with work and then shows, but was he ignoring Michael?

God was he ready for this? Calum sits up throwing the covers off himself. It was much too hot, much too lonely. Did Michael regret marrying him? Too many dark thoughts race through his mind as he hurries to Luke's room. He knocked on the door, needing to talk to someone. Were they right to get married?

"Luke open the damn door," Calum grits out, banging on the door again. With his luck he would wake up Ashton or worse Michael. 

"Damnit Cal, what do you want?" Luke whispers finally opening the door. Calum barrels himself into Luke's arms, tears threatening to spill over. 

"Michael doesn't love me." 

"Bullshit Calum," Luke says dragging Calum into the room. "Michael loves you more than anything. What is wrong with you two?" Calum shakes his head, flopping onto the bed. 

"I don't know," Calum groans. "Mike's upset about something and I can't figure it out. Now he's sleeping in Ashton's room." 

Luke sighs, getting under the covers. "Sleep here tonight, I know how hard it is to sleep alone again. This isn't good Calum, Jessie is worried about you guys."

Calum gets under the covers grumbling. "What if Michael realized he's married to an idiot and doesn't want to be with me."

"Stop talking Cal and sleep, we go to Scotland in the morning," Luke shuts off the lights curling up into a ball. A minute later he's asleep leaving Calum to fall into a pitiful sleep. 

He was scared he was going to lose the one good constant in his life. 

He decides to clear his head, to lose himself in nature and humbleness of it. When Ashton asks him if he wants to go to Canberra and then Mexico City during their week break, Calum readily agrees. Maybe being lost in the jungle looking at pyramids can help him figure out how to fix things with Michael. 

*

**December**. 

The California sun beat down on Calum's head, the unusually hot weather making him irritable. It was December, it should be cold over here. Looking back on it Calum should've made sure they had gas and their phones charged when they left L.A. Now Calum and Michael were lost in Calabasas, stranded in a strip mall. Calum checks his phone, the black screen taunting him. 

"Phone still dead?" Michael asks, coming over with large slurpees. In his other hand he hold a container of gas, enough to get them to the gas station three miles down. 

Calum shoots Michael a glare, "You have a phone, you call the agent." Michael shrugs handing a slurpee to Calum. He takes a large sip out of it, welcoming the brain freeze. 

"I could, but that wouldn't be teaching my idiot husband the importance of asking for fucking directions when technology fails," Michael bites back drinking his own slurpee. Calum stares at Michael until the blonde sighs dramatically and pulls out his phone. "Made us run out of bloody gas."

Michael dials a number, letting it ring on speaker. Calum wished Jessie was here, she could handle Michael when he became melodramatic, Calum got just as moody. He wishes she wasn't in Melbourne for some business trip with Luke. He wants his other best friend here, she would make light of the situation and challenge them to see who got a brain freeze the quickest.  

Calum moves away from Michael, opting to sit inside the car. Yeah everything was going great until Calum's phone died halfway to Calabasas and Michael's mood darkened. Calum honestly didn't know what was wrong, everything he seemed to do pissed off Michael now. He rubs his face, wishing he had remembered to bring the fucking charger. 

The door opens and Michael slides into the passenger side, hanging up the phone. "I got the directions, lets go." He roughly puts his seatbelt on, looking towards Calum. That's where Calum draws the line. 

"No." He says calmly, hands gripping the steering wheel. "You've been in a bad mood since we landed two days ago. Whats going on?"

"Calum just drive," Michael says sounding so much more tired now. Calum faces his husband, his best friend. He had been good at reading Michael for the past sixteen years, now he couldn't tell what was going on behind those green eyes of his. Michael looks down, avoiding Calum.

Calum deflates a little, "Mike whats wrong? You've been so sad since Dublin."

Michael stays quiet, fidgeting with his hands. When it becomes apparent that Michael isn't going to talk Calum starts up the engine, turning the car back onto the road, the map app telling him where to go. "Fucking fine Michael, don't talk to me." He drives the rest of the way in silence, too upset to even turn on the radio.

 

 

Michael perks up when the reach their future house. They had all but bought it, they just needed to tour it today and sign paperwork tomorrow. The real estate agent meets them at the front door, the huge double doors thrown open. Calum smiles at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hi Margot," Michael drawls shaking hands with the agent. "It nice to finally meet you and this house." Calum nods agreeing with Michael. 

"Well let's tour the house then," Margot says, waving the two inside. Calum smiles as Michael lights up, his hands skimming over every surface.  They make their way into the house, the soft clack of heels and boots hitting the grey and black tiles. Calum moves behind Michael, letting the other do the talking. Calum is content to listen, watching Michael negotiate.

 

"Cal, look at the master," Michael comes running out of the room, getting Calum by the hand and dragging him into the master bedroom. Calum follows happily, wrapping his arm around Michael's. "Look." Calum really looks at the room, the dark hardwood covered in a white shaggy rug. Its large, with a bay window overlooking the back yard. 

Calum follows Michael to the large walk in closet, peeking his head in. There's racks and racks, selves from top to bottom. "Look there's a couch and jewelry display," Michael whispers before he's dragging Calum into the en suite bathroom. 

"That closet was bigger than my old room," Calum mumbles, earning a laugh from Margot. The bathroom is just as luxurious. There's a walk in shower with overhead fixtures, gold and red tiles decorate the backsplash and tub in diamonds. The walls are a light brown, with its own linen closet. Black metal finishes off everything and if Calum was honest with himself, this house was perfect for them. 

There was a big backyard for pets, a small pool, and plenty of room for future additions. It was modern in its appliances and fixtures, down to earth in color scheme and structure. Calum loved it, he smiles as Michael jumps from area to area inspecting every little thing. "Everything to your liking babe?" 

Michael smiles brightly at him nodding, "Yes, this is like perfect. Calum can you imagine us living here?" Michael wraps his around Calum's middle resting his head on Calum's shoulder, a rare show of affection after the past couple of days. Months, his brain corrects.  

Calum laughs quietly, steering Michael out of the room and out towards where Margot was. "Yeah, this place is the one." They follow Margot down the stairs letting her list what else was included in the house. Michael presses a barely there kiss to Calum's temple, untangling himself from Calum's arms. 

Calum watches Michael walk over to Margot and sighs, he didn't know what was going on with his husband but it seemed more to do with himself than with Calum. "So are you two buying a house today or should I look for new houses?" Calum focus on Margot's words, Michael looking at him with a strange expression. Calum smiles before nodding his head.

"We're buying the house."

*

Calum wakes up cold and alone. He fumbles around the bed trying to find Michael, when his hand just clutches pillows and sheets, Calum finally opens his eyes. He's alone in the bed, the window opened all the way. The cold breeze causing him to shiver madly. 

Quietly Calum gets out of bed, stretching and pulling on pants. Luke's L.A house is small, only two rooms Calum knows if Michael's in the house he wasn't far away. Calum thinks back to Michael's moodiness the past month or so, how the older man had been distancing himself from Calum. Talking to Jessie in the middle of the night, going away for long period of times. Calum hates being kept in the dark, Michael refuses to talk to him, its a miracle they're sleeping in the same bed this week. Jessie won't spill whats going on, saying Michael will tell him when its time. 

Calum finds himself in the backyard watching Michael. There's a cigarette dangling from his fingers, puffs of white smoke escaping Michael's lips. Calum leans against the door frame, studying Michael. He can't see his face, most of him is hidden with the shadows and Calum feels his chest tighten and squeeze, the air escaping him. 

"I thought you had quit smoking," Calum states walking towards him. Michael shrugs taking another drag of the cigarette. There's a pack next to him and Calum curses as he sits down next to Michael, grabbing a cigarette for himself. He takes the lighter from Michael and lights his own, blowing out rings seconds later. 

"I still smoke every now and then," Michael says lowly, eyeing Calum. "Mostly when I'm stressed." 

Calum lets out another round of smoke, he remembers doing this when they were sixteen and had both started smoking. Michael had been scared as he got addicted to them so Calum joined in until Michael's mom had caught them. There was no one to scold them now. 

"Michael please tell me whats going on, somethings troubling you," Michael shrugs again, moving to get up. Calum grabs Michael's wrist, tugging him to stop. Michael glances down at shaking his head and tries to leave again. 

Calum stands up, blocking him "No Michael, you're hurting and I want to know whats going on." He hates the way his voice cracks at the end, showing the conflicting emotions that are spinning around in his head. "Please babe." 

Michael stares at him and for one halting moment Calum thinks Michael will push past him and walk out. Instead Michael lets out a breath and sits back down, stomping out the cigarette. "Okay Calum, I'll tell you." Michael cups Calum's chin, smiling sadly. "I can never resist those eyes you know." Calum feels his lips turn up in a small smile. 

"I know you've been talking to Jessie," Calum says slowly, "I just want to know, I'm your husband."

Michael laughs, the sound breaking something in Calum. "Do we even know what we're doing Cal?"

"What?" Calum asks, shocked. 

"Do we know what we're doing? Are we ready to start this life? I don't know about you but I'm trying here while you ignore me. You keep pushing me away, you're never interested in what I have to tell if it isn't about music or song writing. I'm trying Calum, god I'm trying," Michael leaves Calum sitting shocked, pacing around the back yard. "For the past months you haven't shown any interest in me, in our lives. You say you're excited but I never get more than a smile from you, you act like its some burden to be out with me." 

Michael stop pacing to break off a small branch from one of the trees, breaking it down into pieces. Calum can hear the sobs he's trying to hold back. Calum can feel their relationship falling apart. His heart shatters. He can't breathe, and Michael is threatening to leave him.

"The closer we come to moving the more you hole yourself up in the studio and leave me alone," Michael yells, throwing the branches. "I'm scared Calum, god am I scared. I call Jessie because she listens to what I'm saying, I can tell her I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up everything, that I'm not good enough. I can tell her I started smoking again because I know she'll listen, not you." Michael sobs, leaning against the tree and Calum's brain finally catches up to him.

He rushes over to him, pulling Michael to his chest. Michael fights him for a second, gripping at Calum's shirt before he sinks into the embrace. Calum lets his own tears fall, he had been trying to keep his emotions in check for so long he realizes that must've came off the wrong way to Michael. 

Michael is still talking through his tears, whispering his fears to Calum. "-- Not good enough parent... buy the house? I'm this close to walking. You never say whats on your mind, how am I supposed to know? Damnit Calum, are you still in love with me?" 

Calum rubs Michael's back, nodding. "Of course Michael, of course. I'm sorry I've been such an idiot." He presses a kiss to Michael's forehead before continuing. "I'm scared too, I'm just not as vocal as you. I've been scared since I started dating you."

"What--" 

"I love you, I love you so much but I'm scared," Calum admits, he was always scared in the back of his mind. That he'd lose Michael, scared of what people thought of him, scared of the future. He tells Michael that in between his own tears, choking up so bad he finally has to stop talking. 

"We're both idiots," Michael murmurs, pulling away just enough to look Calum in the eyes. "I'm going to Sydney, alone." 

Calum's head hurt, "Why?" He didn't want Michael to be no more than a few feet from him.

Michael kisses Calum's hand, moving away from him. "To visit my mum, to think some things over." Calum reaches for Michael again, but the blonde moves away from him heading towards the door. "I need space Cal, for a few days. Stay here, I'll be back before you know it." 

"But why Mikey?" Calum whispers arms dangling awkwardly by his sides. They had talked, why was Michael pushing him away?

Michael gives Calum a small smile, "We need to be away form each other for a little bit. I love you Calum, I'm not going anywhere." Michael walks back up to Calum, kissing him softly. "I married you, I don't regret it but we need some time away from each other. I'll be back soon." 

"When do you leave?" Calum asks breathless, he had come too close to losing his best friend and lover. He didn't want Michael to leave. 

"In the morning." Michael says before walking away, a miserable goodbye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yeah there's that chapter... inspired by Vapor (5sos) The Quiet (troye sivan) and my own need to write sad things. Hope y'all like it!


	5. Pretty Brown Eyes, filled With Tears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum waits. He waits and he hopes and wishes that Michael comes back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important question before the sad chapter! Who's going to SLFL Phoenix and Soundcheck?? I am and I'm basically going alone..... I would love to talk to anyone who's going.

Calum would be lying if he said he didn't spend the next day crying and eating too much Chinese takeout. He didn't believe Michael until he woke up to an empty house, Michael's wedding ring on the kitchen counter. Calum had stared at it in shock, the house feeling too small too fast. 

That's when he started crying. 

And he hadn't stopped crying. He flipped the t.v on, wiping tears off his cheeks. The surge of long suppressed emotions finally bubbling over in a snot filled breakdown. He refused to walk into the kitchen, leaving his takeout boxes littered on the coffee table. His phone rested next to one, set at high in case Michael called. 

Why did Michael leave his ring? Calum took in a shaky breath, taking a sip of the beer he had been nursing for a while. Did he want a break? Or-- no Calum doesn't let his mind finish its thoughts. He mentally kicks himself, this was bad. Ashton and Luke had been trying to tell him, Jessie had flat out told him to get his shit together. Now he was far too close to losing Michael as both his spouse and best friend. 

Frustrated Calum goes to the bedroom, wrapping himself up in the blankets. He continues to wipe tears off his face, falling into a troubled sleep in the middle of the afternoon. 

 

Its the middle of the night when Calum's phone rings, loud and shrill. Calum rolls over, falling face first onto the floor. "Fuck." He mutters to himself, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He wraps the blankets around himself and stumbles out of the bedroom and down to where his phone will not shut up. 

"Hello?" He grumbles, slumping into the couch. 

"Hey," Michael's voice is soft and easy, making Calum smile sadly. "I just landed, Mum's here." 

Calum rakes a hand over his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "That's good, you forgot something." 

"My ring, I know," Michael says quietly, Calum can hear the background noise, Karen asking about Calum and Michael muttering something back. "I took it off last night, forgot to put it back on. Hey listen Cally, I got to go and I'll have my phone off for the next two days but I'll see you soon. Love you, bye" The phone goes dead and Calum buries further into the couch, silent tears threatening to over spill yet again.

 

Calum doesn't know how much time passes between that phone call and when he finally lifts his head from his arms. All he knows is that he's in the dark and its sleeting, the closest it'll come to snowing here in L.A. He sighs and untangles himself from the nest he made. In the back of his mind he knew he was being just a bit over dramatic, that he was being sloppy even for himself. It was cancelled out by the pain currently squeezing the life out of him.

The mere thought that Michael was going to leave without telling him, was willing to walk away from it all without even talking to Calum. Calum shakes his head, scooping up takeout cartons, well it tells Calum that he needs to pay attention more often. He tidies up the living room, redoing his nest on the couch and throwing away the trash he left. 

He avoids the kitchen counter, moving as far away from it as possible. His phone rings again making Calum all but nose dive at his phone, hoping its Michael. "Hello?" 

"Hi Calum." 

"Mom?" Calum whispers, sitting at the edge of the couch. 

"Are you okay, I've heard some things," His mother hesitates, the sound of her chopping vegetables easing Calum's nerves. Takes him back to when he would complain to his mom, telling her about whatever was bothering that day. Or later on when the band formed and everything started spiraling out of control, he would find himself holding a package of frozen peas to his head cursing Luke while his mother shook her head. Much later, it would be him face palming as he worked over ways to fix things with Michael, how to face his feelings.

Now she was asking about his martial problems. "Calum? Are you okay? Karen texted me about Michael being in Sydney, without you... and his ring." 

Calum sighs. "No mom, I'm not okay. Me and Mikey, not doing so well." 

Joy sighs on the other end, the sound of the knife ceasing. "Calum, my son what happened?" 

Calum explains, in detail what had been going on since him and Michael had decided to become more domestic. He doesn't leave anything out, including his fear that maybe they're in over their heads. He tells her about moving to L.A for good, and everything in between. Maybe that's where the problems lies, he doesn't vent enough. "Mom I think I really screwed up. What if, what if I can't fix things between us?" 

His mom is silent on the other line, Calum counts the seconds getting impatient. "Well you do love him, you've loved him since you were a kid. Sweetheart don't let this go just because you are scared." 

"But--"

"Listen, everyone is scared of the unknown its natural." the sound of chopping vegetables starts up, and Calum can hear his dad in the distance. "Your father says hi, but Calum, marriage doesn't come easy to anyone. Learn to compromise where you can, and always talk it out first. Sadly, I hate to say it to you but if you two can't fix things..."

"No mom, please don't," Calum whispers, just as his mother's voice picks up again.

"-- Then you need to decide what's best for both of you and that doesn't always mean staying together. Think of your friendship, and the band, and most importantly think of your happiness."

Calum closes his eyes, shifting through almost twenty years of memories. He sucks in a deep breath holding onto the time him and Michael has made friendship bracelets with Mali's kit, he still had it tucked into a photo album in his childhood home. His wedding night pops into his head, of promises kissed into skin. He thinks of Michael eager to start up a band and Calum picking up guitar, and finally bass just to be with him. Lastly he think of when they first met, how shy awkward little Calum would only talk and participate if Michael was next to him. How Michael always supported him.

He lets out the breath slowly, opening his eyes. "I need him in my life. He makes me so happy." 

"Then you have your answer _aroha."_

They talk for a while longer, the night stretching into dawn. Joy finally hangs up after making Calum promise her to visit for longer than two hours the next time he was Sydney. He yawns, cracking his knuckles. A shower sounded like the best thing right now. 

 

He showers quickly, dragging on a sweater he's swiped from Michael and sweats. He gets to cleaning the house, Luke would have his head if it wasn't left in the pristine condition is was in when they got here. He goes to the kitchen staring hard at the ring on the counter, he slides the ring onto his third finger on his right hand. 

It's well into morning when Calum stumbles into the bed, cell phone tucked under his pillow. Only a two days until Michael came back. 

If he decided to come back. 

*

"Shh Calum, I'm right here go back to sleep," Calum feels himself stir, blindly reaching out for the body that went with that voice. 

" _Tahu ,_ _e kore e waiho e ahau_ _,_ " Calum mumbles, slipping into the language his mother had tried to teach him. Sometimes he couldn't string together three words, other times they flowed out of his mouth like it was first language.

"I have no idea what that means," he can hear Michael laugh quietly, pushing his hair out of his face. "But I need to eat or I won't be much fun around." Calum tries to open his eyes, but the heaviness pinning him down keeps him from opening them wider than a crack.

He watches Michael walk out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Calum falls back to sleep, clutching Michael's wedding band in his hand. He dozes in out of a light sleep for what feels like hours, his eyes finally opening to soft light streaming in through the window curtains. 

The smell of bacon was also an appealing reason to wake up. Calum stretched, popping his neck as he rolls it back and forth. He blinks slowly, coming to his senses. He can hear Michael singing in the distance, loudly and off key. It makes Calum smile and he edges off the bed, sliding Michael's ring up his finger. 

He finds Michael cooking bacon and pancakes, swiveling his hips and waving a spatula around. "Morning Calum." He finally says, sensing Calum standing in the entrance way. 

"Morning Mikey, erm when did you learn to cook?" Calum can't help but ask, making his way towards his spouse. 

"Last night," Michael says lowly flipping pancakes onto plates. Calum moves to the fridge pulling out juice and getting forks and glasses. "I couldn't sleep so me and mum made pancakes until I had to go to the airport." 

"Oh," is all Calum can whisper as he takes the plates back to the small table. 

He hears Michael sigh and a moment later Calum finds himself pressed into Michael's arms. "Calum. Cally, I love you and you damn better believe it." Calum can feel Michael pressing soft kisses on the top of his head, he tries to laugh but all that comes out is a weak sob. "Shh, I'm here and I'm not leaving. I have loved you since I was sixteen you're just so, I don't know Cal, closed off. I couldn't take it, I needed space." 

Calum gets a real laugh out, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist. "I know, I'm so sorry Mikey. I just came so close to losing you..." he trails off, not wanting to finish his words. 

Michael pulls back far enough to hook a finger under Calum's chin, staring straight into his eyes. "I'm here, you're not losing me that easily, and we're working on communication. I need to know what's going on in that head of your's Calum, don't push me away." 

Calum lifts his hand, tracing Michael's cheek gently. "Okay, I'll say what's on my mind more."

"And no more of 'I have to be the strong one'," Michael levels Calum with a look, letting him know that he meant business on this. There was no negotiations. 

"Okay." 

Michael captures Calum's lips in his own, forgiving Calum in that simple gesture. He kisses back, tangling his fingers in Michael's hair. He could stay like this for the rest of the day, but there was the smell of bacon and pancakes. Calum's stomach grumbles, making the two of them pull apart laughing. "Breakfast?" 

"Can I have my ring?" Michael asks, lifting a brow at Calum. Calum nods quickly, slipping the sleek gold ring off his finger, grabbing Michael's left hand and sliding the band on his own. He kisses Michael again, slowly cupping Michael's face in his hands, languidly remembering every kiss they've shared, and gently, silently promising to be a better husband. 

"Pancakes," Calum happily supplies when he pulls back, a stunned look on Michael's face. 

"Fucking idiot, why did I marry you?" is all Michael mumbles, a smile threatening to overcome him. Calum shrugs, shoving a piece of pancake in his mouth. 

*

"So you're saying in the two days I was gone, you didn't pick out paint or furniture for the house?" Michael snarks pulling his shades over his eyes as they walk out of IKEA. 

"I was sort of dealing with other things," Calum quips back, lacing his finger with Michael's. Michael smiles at him, sticking out his tongue. 

"Sorry about that," Michael says with no heat. 

"Where we going again?" Calum asks as they step into their car.

"Somewhere," Michael shrugs starting the car. Calum stays quiet, already knowing where this was headed. 

"We fly out to Sydney tomorrow, you sure you want to do this?" 

"New York. Wouldn't hurt to just get the consultation over with," Michael says slowly, weaving through traffic. 

"Okay Michael."

 

 

"So everything looks good, paperwork orderly," the agent hums staring at the pile of paperwork Calum and Michael had had the pleasure of perfecting over the year. Calum shifts, sinking further back into his chair, waiting for the bad news that always seemed to follow those words. "This is your fourth attempt, correct?"

Calum can't answer, refuses to practically, opting to nudge Michael with his hand. "That's correct, even though I wouldn't take the comments on the other papers at face-value." Michael answers honestly, gripping the arm rest tightly. 

"Yes, I would not trust those," The agent hums again, carefully leafing through the papers. "Well it seems money isn't an issue, and you said you currently purchased a house here?"

"Yes."

"Well, than really the only major issue would be the work schedule. Touring, going back and forth from Sydney to here, that's a lot of stress." 

"Well, ma'am, we do intend to stop touring at the end of this year," Calum finds himself saying, the first words he's said since the we're ushered into the office. "and Michael and I fully intend to stay in L.A after that." 

The agent nods, reading one paper intensely. She stands abruptly, gathering the paper work into her hands. "I'll be right back." 

"Did I say that too harshly?" Calum turns to Michael, regretting his words already. 

"No, no," Michael says, patting Calum's hand. "You're good." 

The agent walks back in, holding two stacks of paperwork in her hands. "Okay, I have decided to take on your case. Of course this could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, so I ask again; do you want to proceed with the adoption?"

"Yes."

"Yes, absolutely," Calum feels something uncurl in his chest, loosening up the tension that had been with him for months now. 

"Okay, so I will need you two to fill these out. Sign where there's an 'x', initial where there's a circle. Then we'll go through some cases and talk about payments." 

 

 

When the bulk of the paperwork is done, the ink drying and tests passed Calum and Michael shake hands with the agent, smiling so hard their cheeks hurt. Or at least Calum's cheeks hurt. "Thank you again, for taking us on." 

"No problem, your files are very interesting and you two will make great parents," the way the lady words it has Calum hanging back, shooing Michael away. 

"What was it? 'Not suitable conditions to raise a child' or 'Marriage situation isn't compatible?" Calum can't help but asking, frowning at the words that had etched into his soul when he saw the full reports.

The agent smiles sadly at him, running a hand down the file. "Both, I can't believe they got away with that. Just by seeing you two interact I knew you guys were capable of being parents."

Calum shrugs, "Our marriage isn't valid over there, they can put that there legally." 

"Well I'm glad you moved over here," the agent smiles gently at him, causing the skin around her eyes to crinkle. 

"Me too," Calum sighs, moving to leave the office. 

"Happy Holidays," She calls softly, just as Calum closes the door. Calum curses, Christmas was in a few days. 

He makes his way over to Michael, "Are we still going to the beach house for Christmas?" 

Michael frowns, chewing on his bottom lip. "I don't know Jessie didn't mention anything. I know we have to be in New York for new years." 

"Come on." 

*

"So New York? Two whole weeks in New York city?" Michael asks again, all but yelling into the phone.

"Mike," Calum chastises, flipping off the t.v. 

"Okay, okay. Sucks, we're breaking tradition." Michael pauses, waving Calum towards him. Calum goes, settling himself in Michael's lap. "Okay Jess, we're leaving tomorrow. We're just confused with our days." He pauses again, pinching the bridge of his nose. Jessie must be chewing him off, Calum thinks giddily, she must be stressed out. 

"Love you Jess, gotta go Cal's unbuckling my pants," Calum laughs, hearing Jessie's voice pitch higher on the other line. "Can't say no to that, bye Jessie." Michael laughs, nuzzling his face into Calum's back.

"Still flying to New York tomorrow?"

"Yep."

"We're you subtly saying you wanted a blow job?" Calum asks lightly, tracing circles on Michael's thighs. 

"Yep." Michael grinds his hips into Calum's, placing messy kisses on his neck. 

Well Calum just couldn't say no to that. 

*

"Jessie!" Calum and Michael call out, ignoring the looks passersby give them. They run towards their friend, purposely ignoring Luke. 

"Hey guys," Jessie laughs, hugging the two of them. Calum holds onto her, mussing her hair. He smiles down at her, she's put on weight, most of the sharp edges filled out except for her cheekbones. Calum thinks they'll stay like that permanently now. Overall she looks more happier, glow-y even. 

"Look at you, whats your secret to keeping that tan," Michael hums, twirling her around.

"Same as Calum, we don't burn and a lot of cocoa butter," Jessie giggles, smacking Calum's arm lightly. 

Luke coughs, shifting from foot to foot. Calum gives in, throwing himself into Luke's arm. "Hi Luke, we've missed you so much." 

"You literally saw me a a week ago," Luke laughs, but hugs Calum back. 

"A week too long," Michael says, giving his own hug. 

"Come one, Bry and Ashton are already here and you two need to shower and change into," Jessie wrinkles her nose, tearing apart their airport clothes in one look. "Something not that." 

"Why, what are we doing?" Calum asks, picking up his carry on. 

"We're going to Broadway tonight," Jessie says, tugging her coat tighter around her. 

"We're going to see Hamilton tonight," Luke clarifies, rolling his eyes. 

"Stop, it's a great play," Jessie chides, shoving Luke foreword. 

"Wait we're seeing Hamilton, how did we get tickets?" Michael asks, excited. 

Jessie lights up, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Well you guys are a pretty well known band, added in with me donating to the foundation Miranda supports, we got enough tickets but they're for tonight only." 

"No way?" Michael grabs Jessie's hands, both of them jumping up and down like five year olds and not twenty five. 

"Okay children" Calum scolds fondly, pulling Michael away from Jessie. "We're never going to be on time if we stay here giggling and jumping around like three year olds." 

The two of them stick their tongues out at Calum, Luke shrugging and walking away from the three of them. This was going to be a long afternoon. Calum shakes his head, leaving Michael and Jessie to dance around while he tries to find their luggage. 

*

When New Years Eve comes around, and the snow is falling thickly onto Times Square, Calum takes a deep breath. He's cold down to the bones, pushing it aside to watch the ball drop. The countdown has started and he glances around the crowd and at his own friends. The feeling is magical, lovers caught up with one another friends huddling to keep the warmth, the sound of everyone counting in unison. 

Michael grips Calum's hand, smiling over at him. All the moments spent by Michael's side has been nothing short of wonderful but tonight feels perfect. Their little world is perfect. Calum squeezes back, running his thumb over Michael's 'X' tattoo, a running childhood secret between them. 

The clock hits ten and Calum finds himself smiling widely, glancing to see Luke and Jessie whispering at each. In front Ashton holds Bryana close, muttering something in her ear. At five Calum tugs Michael closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

"I know who I married," he finds himself whispering to Michael, the older guy facing him. "From this moment on I will never be ashamed or scared of loving you again." The cheers ring out as the clock hits zero, a new year ushered in. 

Michael kisses Calum passionately, gripping at his waist and Calum isn't cold anymore, heat spreads over him as he kisses back. Cupping Michael's cheek he pulls away only an inch. 

"I promise." 

 

*

**March**

"Why do we need to the paint the rooms again Calum?" Michael turns towards him, dropping the paint cans. "This house isn't going to look like the same house we bought."

"That's the point," Calum answers breezily picking up the paint cans up. "We have to make it our own." 

"Knocking down walls is up a totally different lane," Michael mumbles following Calum into the kitchen. Calum watches his step, steering clear of buckets, paint brushes, and other tools. Renovators move around them, lugging wood beams and saws. "Why do we need more space, this is a huge house!" 

Calum laughs, resting his hands on the counters. "Come on, you are totally excited for the theater room." He grabs Michael's waist bringing him closer. They had a nice two week break from the last part of tour. For a month they had been dealing with renovations through Skype and Ashley. 

Michael winds an arm around Calum's neck, nodding. "Okay I give you that, but I get to decorate the rooms." Calum pecks Michael's lips before shoving a paint brush into his hands. 

"Time to start painting then," He kisses Michael again, moving to pick up the paint cans again. 

 

Calum sat against the wall in what would soon be his and Michael's bedroom. He sipped at the soda in his hands, the other tracing nonsense into the wood floors. Those would stay, he liked the way the dark cherry wood complimented the newly greyish blue walls. Closing his eyes Calum thought about his life so far. Smiling to himself he starts humming, chords and words coming to his mind. 

"So when do we move in?" Calum stops humming in favor of nudging Michael.

"As soon as the renovations are done," He goes back to humming tapping out a beat on the floor. "Mike, babe, is the guitar still in the back of the car?" 

Calum can practically feel Michael's smile when he speaks, "Yeah sure, you never stop writing do you?" 

Calum smiles, still tapping out the beat. "To quote a very famous musical; 'I write like I'm running out of time.'" Michael leaves the room laughing, making Calum erupt in giggles too. 

 

Michael comes back into the room with the guitar and a notebook, his phone pressed against ear and shoulder. "Yeah, we can totally do tomorrow... no we're here for a few more days." He gives Calum the guitar and notebook, sitting across from him. 

Calum starts writing down the lyrics floating in his head, strumming the guitar every now and then while Michael talks into the phone. "Yeah, no problem, that's great news... we'll see you tomorrow then." 

Calum scribbles down some notes, setting the guitar aside. "Who was that?" 

Michael flashes him a grin, "The adoption agency, they're moving forward with our case." Calum stares at him in disbelief. 

"What?" 

"They're moving forward with our case," Michael says slowly, scooting closer to Calum. Calum lets out a shout, tackling Michael into a hug. Michael hugs him back just as tightly, pressing kisses to just about every where on Calum's face. 

"That's the best news I've heard in a while," Calum says, resting his head on Michael's chest. He feels Michael's play with his hair, humming in agreement. 

"We meet again with the agent tomorrow," Michael says quietly.

"Great." 

"Cally?" 

"Hmm," Calum hums, already dozing. 

"Tell me, are we... You can still say no Cal." Calum sits up, staring down at Michael who's eyes are closed. "You can back out now, I would understand." 

"Michael, listen to me. I love you, my mind hasn't changed. We're going through with this," he says quietly. Michael just nods, using a hand to drag Calum down onto his chest. Calum curls up next to him, kissing his cheek. The floor under them is getting uncomfortable, but Calum refuses to move or move Michael. They doze off curled around each other, content and incredibly happy. 

 

 

"Okay, so after much reviewing and debating, reviewing again," the agent, Sarah, says spreading out paperwork. "We decided to move forward with the case, you two did pass every test after all, and now we can start with looking at these." Sarah slides a dozen portfolios towards them. Calum picks one up, leafing through the papers. 

Michael picks one up too, scanning it, "Um, we based this off of the paperwork and questionnaire, and you two said it didn't matter the gender?" 

"No," they both reply in unison, going through more packets. 

"These are the children we feel would be ready to be placed in your household. You guys have been doing your homestudy, correct?" They nod again, Calum squirming in his seat. "Okay, the only problem is the work schedule, the band is still on tour?"

"For another month," Calum answers, eyeing Michael.

"And then the press tour?"

"Finishes up in May," Michael replies sweetly, "But that's held here in the U.S" 

"Technicalities," Sarah answers curtly, giving them a serious look. "I assure you that after May the adoption will go through and you two will become parents." She stands, waving to the pile of portfolios, "I'll be back in a few minutes." 

"We're going to be parents," Calum whispers. 

"Stop being dramatic and start looking through these," Michael says fondly, patting Calum's hand. 

*

 

"Mum, guess what?" Calum whispers into the phone careful not to wake Michael. 

"What?" Joy sounds mildly amused on the other line, making Calum stall. "Calum, whats going on?"

"We're going to be parents, they approved our case," Calum whispers loudly, Michael stirring next to him. He pats down his hair, soothing the blonde. 

"I'm so happy for you my son, finally grandchildren," Calum sighs, making his mother laugh again. "Jokes aside, I'm really happy for you two, I can't wait to meet the child."

"Daughter, we're going to have a daughter," Calum says quietly, trailing off into a yawn. 

"I'll let you sleep, take care. Love you." Calum mumbles goodbye back, the phone clicking. He slides back down the bed, pressing a kiss to Michael's shoulder. The older man slings an arm over Calum's middle, and Calum drifts off to sleep feeling that tightness in his chest finally leave for good. Everything was falling into place now, finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if I butchered the translations on the word, I found them off a university's site.   
> Aroha: term of endearment, dear/love. 
> 
> Tahu , e kore e waiho e ahau: 'My love, don't leave me."


	6. It Takes Two to Break a Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum and Michael move into their new house in L.A and get right down to business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.... have no excuse for this chapter.... it made me change the rating of the story. I think I'll go now... ;)
> 
> Oh spoiler alert! It's calum's own stubbornness that he doesn't pick his head up and shift over.

**May**

One bright day in May the dust settles and the paint dries in Calum and Michael's new home. The rooms are decorated and furnished to perfection. Calum looks around letting out a long breath. Five months of renovations and the house was finally done. Tour was finally done, press was finally done. Calum smiles, leaning against the wall. Now him and Michael could relax as soon as they moved into the house properly.

 Calum walked through the vast house trying to find Michael. He could hear loud humming, he just didn't know where it was coming from. He wasn't used to the new house yet, he walked into one room when he meant to go to another. He forgot which one was their bedroom on occasion. 

He finds Michael in the garage sitting away from him, talking to something softly that Calum can't see. He watches him for a minute, murmuring and cooing at the thing. "Mikey what are doing?" 

Michael jumps, turning his head around quickly. He gives Calum a sly smile, turning back around. "Nothing Calum." Calum moves closer, trying to see what Michael has in his arms. Michael shifts, covering the thing with his arm.  He can hear whimpering and he can just make out tiny ears. 

"Michael is that a cat?" Calum asks, voice pitching at the end. Michael shrugs glancing up at Calum again. 

"Can we keep him?" 

"No!" Calum screeches, sitting down. The kitten in Michael's arms meows dainty, blinking its green eyes slowly at Calum. Calum stares at the tiny animal; grey and white, a star like mark spreading over one eye. It yawns, pink tongue curling, and nudges Michael's arm with it's small paw. Calum finds himself smiling, reaching out to pet the kitten against his own will. "You know I don't like cats," he whispers, running his finger over the kitten's head and back. 

Michael snorts, cradling the kitten closer to him. "Then it's mine and you don't touch my kitten again." Calum shoves Michael gently, lacing his fingers with Michael's. "Can we keep him?" 

Calum looks at the kitten, green eyes wide and questioning. He looks up at Michael, twin green eyes dancing with humor and questions. Calum knows if he says no Michael will take the kitten down to the shelter and that'll be the end of it, but the kitten mewls again his tail flickering and Michael is soothing it. Calum can feel his resolve breaking down. He glances between the kitten and Michael, both pouting and wide eyed. 

Calum sighs,"He's a stray?" Michael nods, holding up the kitten. 

"Pretty sure, I mean we should still check to see if he's chipped but.." He trails off, handing over the kitten to Calum. He takes the kitten in his arms, awkwardly holding it at a distance.  The kitten purrs, making Calum giggle softly. 

He sobers up, leveling Michael with a look. "He's your responsibility, I'm not feeding it or walking it, and I'm sure as hell not changing the litter." Michael smiles widely snatching the kitten back. 

"Told you Calum would let you stay," he sings-songs , bobbing his nose with the kittens. "My husband isn't mean, he just acts like it." Calum laughs, pecking Michael's cheek. 

"Come on, we need our friends to send over our junk," Calum says standing up. Michael follows, carrying the kitten inside. 

"Welcome to your new home," Michael whispers releasing the kitten to run wild around the house. "Our new home." He whispers again, catching Calum's hand. Calum squeezes Michael's hand, nodding. 

*

Calum flicks off the lights making his way up the stairs, Michael's kitten trying to claw at his laces. Calum huffs picking up the kitten and walking back downstairs. The kitten, Wilson as Michael had named him unceremoniously, seemed to like Calum a lot more than its owner. Calum just wasn't having that, he had a mild allergy to cats and didn't need cat hair all over his clothes. The kitten sneezes, meowing up at Calum as if saying 'yeah well I have an allergy to you.' 

Calum sighs gently placing the kitten in the laundry room, a little bed and make do litter box tucked into a corner. "Yeah well, we're going to have to make this work." He tells the kitten, making sure there's water in his bowl. In all honesty Calum didn't mind the kitten, he thought he was pretty cute, he just didn't need Michael coming back home with every stray cat he found out on the streets. There were boundaries and lines dammit. Calum eyes the kitten, "You're not so bad Wilson, you're actually sort of cute." 

Calum scratches behind the kitten's ear, purrs erupting a moment later. He straightens looking around the room. One of those boundaries was that the kitten stayed downstairs, unless Michael was going to be going over every piece of clothing and furniture with a lint roller. He looks over at the paint cans and wooden beams, making sure no nails or sharp objects were showing. Michael would personally kill him if something happened to the kitten. 

Content he flicks off the light, leaving the kitten crying softly as he closed the door. He rushes back upstairs, walking into the bedroom where Michael is already in bed flicking through the channels on the t.v. 

"He's crying isn't he?" Michael asks, not even looking at Calum. Calum rolls his eyes, getting ready for bed himself. After the hell that was the press tour, the next six months of doing absolutely nothing sounded great. 

"No." 

"Liar," Michael hisses, a smile tugging at his lips. "Get in bed already." Calum pounces on Michael, straddling him tightly as he presses kisses all over the blonde's face. Michael laughs, the sound making Calum smile against Michael's neck.He can feel Michael tighten his grip around his waist, pressing Calum close to him.  He nips at the skin softly, running his hands over Michael's chest and shoulders. 

"You keep doing that, you're not getting out of bed tomorrow," Michael says darkly, hands tightening around Calum's hips. Calum laughs, pulling back far enough to look at Michael's face. 

"Who says I'm going to be the one not walking?" He raises a brow, challenging Michael. Calum tightens his hands on his shoulders, ready to take over. 

Michael doesn't answer, opting to close the space between them and kiss Calum roughly. He bites down on Calum's lower lip hard, Calum has his answer. He melts into Michael's embrace, letting the older man tug Calum so close that he wraps his legs around Michael's middle. He lets Michael kiss him down into the mattress, smirking the whole way.  "You sure you want this?" 

Michael's voice is rough and so dangerously low it sends a shiver through Calum, anxious for whats next. He nods, at a loss for words, barely whispering out, "Yes." Its enough for Michael to start kissing him again, sucking marks onto his collar bones and neck. Calum opens his mouth for Michael, letting him greedily take his time to explore with his tongue. 

Calum finds his hands wondering over Michael's back, knotting the fabric of his shirt to try and get it off. "No, no," Michael murmurs, pinning Calum's arms over his head. He finds himself annoyed at being the one half naked here, in only basketball shorts, arching his back to be closer to his lover. Michael takes to hint, grinding down on Calum's thigh, using one hand to separate his legs. He lets Michael have his way, spreading his legs as Michael settles between them. 

For the briefest of seconds Michael pulls away, dragging his shirt off in a fluid motion before kissing Calum on the lips, running a hand up and down Calum's thigh. He squeezes his thighs every few moments, making Calum moan lightly. Feeling himself get harder, Michael smirks at him, pressing rough kisses to Calum's chest. 

They're kissing messily now, Calum wrapping his legs around Michael's waist moving to gain the friction he wants right now. "Michael..." he gets out, trying to take off the rest of Michael's clothing with his feet. Michael just looks down at him, cupping his bulge and squeezing. Calum tosses his head back, groaning. Michael continues to palm at him lazily, Calum bucking his hips up desperate for touch. 

He gives up on this slow pace Michael is going in favor of pushing Michael up, and gracefully (not) flipping him over onto the mattress. He kisses Michael roughly, shaking his head as he drags off Michael's shorts and boxers in one quick move. Calum nips at Michael's hipbone, stroking Michael's length with his free hand. The blonde moans loudly, rolling his hip up and into Calum's. Calum grins, quickening his pace. "Fuck you." Michael grits out, raking a hand over Calum's head and tugging on his hair hard enough to pull Calum's head back. 

"That's what we're going for, right?" Calum snipes out, leaning back to take off his own shorts. Michael snorts, peeking over at Calum. Calum can see Michael's eyes darken, humor and lust playing out. 

Calum doesn't have enough time to react when Michael drags him in by his legs, flipping them over. A second later he finds himself face first in the mattress, barely on his arms. Michael leaning over him, pressing feather light kisses between his shoulder blades. "Don't try that again," Michael says lowly, capturing Calum's lips and drowning out the moan. 

Calum relents, panting as Michael kisses his way down his back. Fingers dig into his hips and ass, Calum just knows he's waking up with finger shaped bruises in the morning. Michael's hand finds Calum cock, stroking slowly. Calum gasps, the pace so agonizing yet it felt so good. Michael bites at his shoulder, using his other hand to smack Calum's ass. 

Calum rolls his eyes, biting back the words threatening to come out. He whines as Michael teases him, a finger ghosting over his hole while Michael continues to stroke him. Calum leans up, pressing his ass against Michael's cock. He wraps an arm tightly around Michael's head anchoring him. "Fuck, Michael, hurry up." Michael smiles against Calum's neck, a finger pressing lightly into Calum. He shivers, tossing his head back onto Michael's shoulder. 

"Shut up Calum."

Michael flips Calum over roughly, back pressed into the bed. "I want to see those eyes," is all he says before he's kissing Calum's jaw murmuring, "Be good for me." Calum nods and Michael leaves Calum's mouth in favor of dragging up Calum, he opens his mouth wrapping his lips around Michael's dick, sucking in his cheeks. He grabs at the sheets, letting Michael fuck into his mouth. "So good for me Calum, so gorgeous on your knees." Michael moans, pulling away for moment. 

Michael leaves Calum alone, rolling off the bed and letting the cool air hit him. Calum watches Michael come back to bed, uncapping the bottle of lube and spreading it over his fingers. "Ready?" 

Calum nods again and drags Michael back on top of him. Michael laughs quietly, pinning Calum's arms back over his head again. "Stay like that you slut," He says lowly. Calum gives up his struggle, relaxing against Michael's touch.

 Michael is pressing into him, slipping his finger in and out. Calum stiffens, then relaxes, moaning when Michael finally slips his finger all the way in. He rocks back, trying to keep quiet.

He claws at the bed as Michael adds a second finger in, muttering words of praise at him. Calum hasn't done this in a while, shifting when Michael begins scissoring the fingers. Slowly the pain turns into pleasure, Michael kissing him softly, "You want more baby?" Calum nods.

"Yes, fuck. Yes." Michael adds in a third slowly, gently. He keeps up his pace, making Calum squirm. 

"Dammit Michael, just please," He finds himself begging, Michael cocking his head at Calum. 

"What do you want Calum?" 

Calum moan, rocking onto Michael's fingers. "You. I want you. _Now_." 

Michael kisses Calum, sucking on his lower lip. "Okay, since you're so fucking demanding." He leans back, and Calum can see Michael sliding on the condom, can see and feel him bite inside his thighs. Michael tosses a leg over his shoulder angling himself with Calum. 

Calum breathes in, Michael pushing in at an excruciating pace. Calum grips at Michael's shoulders, screwing his eyes shut as Michael bottoms out. "You good?" Michael whispers again, waiting for Calum. 

"Yes," He half moans, half whispers. Michael sets the pace, thrusting in fast and pulling out slowly. He's teasing me. The thought floats in Calum's mind as he matches Michael, raking blunt nails down Michael's chest. Which results in Michael promptly pinning his hands again, thrusting in faster as both their breaths quicken. 

"I'm going to have to tie you up next time," Michael growls, hitting the spot that makes Calum see stars for a moment. 

"Oh please do," Calum drawls, lifting his hips. Michael thrusts into him again, hitting that sweet spot again. Calum's breath hitches, their rhythm getting sloppy. He tries to sit up, to match Michael thrust for thrust, but Michael's grip on his wrists are tight. 

"Fuck Michael, harder." Michael picks up his pace, making Calum moan almost every time. 

"God you're so fucking... perfect," Michael whimpers into Calum, meeting him for a kiss. They both shift over, Calum's head hanging off the edge of the bed. He shuts his eyes so he won't look at the floor. 

He doesn't dare to move, the feeling too good to stop and readjust. In fact it builds him up quicker, making him feel light. Michael pounds into him, heat pooling in his belly. Michael is stroking his aching cock again, fast and a little rough, enough to send him over.

"Michael...I'm going-" He doesn't finish, Michael grabbing Calum's jaw roughly and squeezing. Calum feels his lips part, Michael's thumb slipping in the taste of pre-cum on his tongue.

"Come for me," He whispers, letting his fingers tighten for just a second more before he moves them to the back of Calum's head. He tugs on the curls twice and Calum is coming, painting both their chests white. 

Michael moans lowly, thrusting into Calum twice. Calum pinches Michael's nipple, making the blonde come seconds later with a grunt. Michael drags Calum away from the edge of the bed, slumping next to him. They both breathe out loudly, Calum stretching, coming down from their high. His head aches but he can deal with that later.

He gets up carefully to go clean the mess off, leaving Michael laying on the bed. He studies himself in the mirror, turning this way and that. He was right about the bruises on his hips already forming. His lip is swollen and purple and there's love bites dark and crude running down his neck and shoulders. The biggest one is on his inner thigh, even Calum's jaw is a little sore. He smiles, taking a towel back to where Michael lays. He was already getting worked up for round two. 

"Wow," Michael whispers, raking his eyes over Calum. He lets Calum swipe the towel over him before pulling him down , curling around him. 

"Wow indeed," Calum snorts, tucking his head under Michael's chin. The marks on Michael will probably look a lot worse than Calum's in the morning, he can't wait to see that. 

 

An hour passes and they still haven't found sleep. Instead Calum lies on his stomach, reading, while Michael lazily traces lines down his back and shoulders. Every now and then Michael will kiss one of the marks littering Calum's shoulders, whispers kind words into his ear. 

"I love it when you're underneath me," Michael whispers into Calum's ear, hot breath tickling his neck. And no, Calum remembers his words from earlier. Michael isn't getting off that easily, figuratively and very much literally. "You're just so good, so submissive." Michael teases, pressing a kiss to Calum's temple. 

Calum laughs quietly, sitting up. He moves quietly into Michael's lap, wrapping his arms around Michael's neck and legs around his waist. He kisses his husband gently, twirling a finger around Michael's hair. They keep kissing, kissing until they're out of breath. Calum traces his lip, watching Michael's eyes darken and flutter close, his lips closing in around Calum's thumb. 

"You really shouldn't have said that," Calum murmurs. Michael's eyes snap open, pupils blown, and he's smiling when Calum closes the gap between them. 

*

The next morning Calum watches Michael walk around the kitchen stiffly, leaning against the counter when he's making tea. Calum can feel himself smirking, they're both shirtless but like Calum had assumed the marks show a hell of a lot more than his. "You ever going to question my skills again?" Calum teases, laughing when Michael has trouble sitting down. 

Michael gives Calum a glare, no real heat behind it. The blonde groans loudly, moving to go open the laundry door and let Wilson roam. He walks back into the room complaining, "Jesus, we haven't fucked like that since we were nineteen." 

Calum laughs, waiting for Michael to sit down. He's sore himself but he isn't giving Michael that win just yet. Michael sits next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. Calum blows on Michael's tea softly, letting the older man close his eyes. Like this he looks younger than twenty four, almost eighteen again. Calum is overcome with emotion, his love for his best friend taking him by surprise. 

"I love you, you know that right?" Calum says, breaking the silence. Michael hums, agreeing. 

"I love you too Callie," Michael kisses his cheek, returning to his tea. 

"God we were rough last night," Calum shifts, the soreness becoming just a little too much. Michael snorts, choking on his drink. 

"You don't say." 

*

"Michael," Calum moans, trying to drag Michael's attention away from unbuckling Calum's pants. 

"Babe this can literally take ten minutes," Michael says, unzipping the jeans and sinking to the floor. Calum sighs, trying to gather his own self control. 

"Michael, literally one minute," Calum breathes out, cupping Michael's chin and pulling him up. 

"What?" Micheal asks, annoyed. "I though we were breaking in the house." 

"We are, and we will," Calum answers, zipping back up his pants. "But that's a problem." Calum points around the room, and walks out into the hallways pointing again. 

"Your cat, your problem." There's brown and blue paw prints all over the floor, on the walls, on the goddamn furniture. Calum stalks down the hallway, more paw prints and colorful scratch marks showing up on the walls and floor. Michael is laughing softly behind him, calling out for the kitten.

They find him in the master bedroom, covered in paint, licking at his hind legs. He's on the bed, smudged paw prints on the white sheets. Calum feels his fists clench and it takes all his self control to not yell. There's more paw prints on the floor and the sheets have runs in them, a curtain torn. 

"Your cat, your problem," Calum grits out, walking out the room and leaving Michael fawning over the cat. 

 

 

Later on Calum tosses the good sheets in the wash, making sure to to have scrubbed the stains until there were almost none left before adding just a little more detergent to the cycle. He picks up a sponge and bucket filled with soapy water grumbling obscenities at Michael and the kitten currently confined in a play pin. 

He drops the sponge the water, causing it to splash over the tiles. Michael shoots him a look before erupting into giggles, dropping his own sponge onto the floor. 

"What?" Calum snaps, kneeling down. 

"Your arms and face are blue," Michael says between laughs, starting to scrub away at a paw print. 

"What the fuck," Calum blinks slowly, breathing in and out. He counts to ten, glances at the kitten whose eyes are wide practically begging for forgiveness, and laughs. He laughs, scrubbing away at prints. 

"You're damn lucky that cat is cute," Calum finally says, nudging Michael. "And you're damn lucky I love your ass." 

"Just my ass?" Michael smirks, flicking bubbles at Calum. Calum smiles widely, flicking back bubbles of his own. 

"And maybe your face," Calum shrugs, pouting. Michael rolls his eyes, planting a kiss on the corner of Calum's mouth. 

"I love you." he mumbles, returning to scrubbing the floor. Calum does the same, careful not to nick his fingers. 

*

Two weeks later Calum sneaks into the house, paint cans now sealed and put away, holding his latest surprise in his arms. "Michael?" He calls out, hoping the blonde was in a fantastic mood. He walks around the house, finally finding Michael in the theater room playing video games. 

"Mikey?" He calls out sweetly, sneaking up to him. 

"Hey babe," he says never taking his eyes off off the screen. "What's up?" 

"I, ugh, have a surprise," Calum says quietly sitting next to Michael. He watches Michael pause the game, and slowly turn around. Calum raises the object in his hands, watching the exact moment Michael's eyes land on the furry mess. 

"You got a dog?" Michael states, no emotion in his voice. Calum can feel his cheeks redden, the puppy in his hands wriggling out of his grasps. "Did you buy it?'

"I adopted it," Calum says carefully, "I went to the shelter." Michael's expression shifts, turning into one of amusement. He eyes the puppy, wobbling towards Wilson. 

"She's a Dalmatian, or at least that's what the volunteer said," Calum says slowly, the small white puppy trying to play with a kitten. 

"Think her and Wilson will get along?" Michael asks, still staring at the two animals. 

"Yeah, pretty sure. They're both small," Calum says, unsure himself. If the volunteer was right, the puppy was about to get a whole lot bigger in a short amount of time. 

Michael narrows his eyes at Calum, pointing at him. "Your dog, your responsibility," He mocks, finally cracking a smile.  He smiles over at the two animals, playing with each other. Calum takes it as a yes, and scoots himself into Michael's lap. He kisses his husband all over, pecking at his lips multiple times.

"Have you named her?" 

Calum nods, pulling away from Michael. "Her name is Duchess." Michael laughs, shaking his head. He scoots Calum back over, standing. He walks over to the two small animals, scooping them up in his arms. 

Calum watches Michael walk out the room, putting down the puppy and kitten and walk back in. The look in Michael's eyes is enough to get Calum's heart racing, he licks his lips, waiting.

Michael moves slowly towards Calum, never taking his eyes off him. "Why can't I ever say no to you?" He whispers, sitting and moving Calum back onto his lap. Calum caresses his cheek, kissing his forehead. 

He can feel Michael trace circles onto his lower back, slipping his hand under his shirt. "Because I don't say no to you either." They kiss slowly, Michael searching Calum's mouth with his own. Calum shifts, straddling him. 

"Because you love me, and I love you." 

Michael pulls him down, grinding their hips together. "Damn right," he mutters, leaving feather light kisses down Calum's jaw. Calum presses himself closer, getting lost in the feeling. Well, they haven't done it in this room yet. 

"I'm going to have you yell that right now, " Michael breathes out, nipping at a mark that hadn't gone away.

"Now get on your knees."  Calum moans, meeting Michael in a filthy kiss. 

He could get used to Michael ordering him around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at 75-jetblckheart! Please comment, I feel like I'm rambling to myself lol.


	7. In Your Eyes I See My Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world shifts in front of Calum and Michael and they suddenly find themselves no longer the center of each other's worlds. Instead a little girl takes that place and captures their hearts. Michael worries about the future while Calum worries about the present.

**July**

Its a hot day in July, a few days before Luke's birthday, that Calum and Michael's daughter gets placed in their foster care. 

Calum wakes up that morning soaked in sweat, he grimaces shoving the covers off his body. An unusually hot California summer has left their air conditioning broken for the past three days, the lack of HVAC repair people causing a backup that not even Calum and Michael's celebrity status could fix. Michael snores loudly next to him, bead of sweat along his hairline. Calum grumbles to himself, shoving off Michael's portion of sheets off of him. He was sweating more just looking at his husband.

What brightens his mood is the reminder that their daughter was being placed into their home this afternoon. His phone beeps with the alarm, causing Michael to stir and sleepily look for the device. Calum beats him to it, shutting off the annoying thing. "Mikey wake up." He yawns, nudging the blonde's shoulder. 

"Fuck off Cal," Michael groans, sticking his head under the pillow. Calum sighs, getting out of bed, it wouldn't do for both of them to be in bad mood when they went to the orphanage. 

Making his way to the bathroom Calum thinks back to the first time they met their daughter a month ago. She had been shy, hiding behind the manager's legs with her thumb in her mouth. She was also incredibly adorable, with big green eyes and dark raven curls and only reaching Calum's knees. 

Michael had made her smile, making silly faces at her. Calum couldn't stop smiling after that, watching the little girl finally relax and stumble towards them. The manager and CPS officer had told them she was only ten months old, but already babbling childish nonsense and walking like a two year old. 

For three weeks they went to the orphanage on sanctioned play-dates, observing the little girl and hoping that she would take to them. In the end she did, crying and clutching onto Calum's legs when they moved to leave on the last day. It had broken Calum's heart to see the tears run down her tanned cheeks, Michael frowning at him as Calum promised to come back soon. It had worked, leaving the pair to discuss the finalities of the adoption process. 

They had learned that the little girl's name was Nadya, her mother had only been eighteen when she had dropped her off her. The CPS officer had also told them that Nadya was of Indian descent and there was really no record of her father. Regardless Calum and Michael adored her already, Calum felt nothing but love. 

Calum showers quickly, relishing the cold water that hits his body and dresses quickly. He wasn't about to be late to this last and most important meeting. He could feel the excitement run through his body, setting him on edge as he dragged on his favorite pair of boots. Him and Michael had literally finished decorating Nadya's room last night after putting it off until the very last minute. He doesn't think he could've handled another heartbreak if this one fell through the cracks. 

Back in the bedroom Michael is sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He yawns, arms outstretched, "It's too fucking hot in here, Sydney wasn't even this bad."

Calum scoffs, sitting in front of Michael. "Yes it was, we're just never there anymore." Michael waves him off, pressing his lips against Calum's in a chaste kiss. Calum traces Michael's ' _to the moon_ ' tattoo, the ink faded grey now. 

Michael smiles, looking down at Calum's hand. "I need to redo it." He yawns again, tracing Calum's 'ALIVE'. "When you getting a tattoo for me? You have this one for Ashton, two for the band, one for your sister, a dagger for Luke, several for your parents and you." Michael pouts for a moments taking his time to trace out everyone of Calum's tattoos, even the ones hidden by his shirt. 

Calum frowns, stopping Michael's hands. He knows the 'x' is for him, he wasn't aware the 'to the moon' was for him as well. "Really? I'm surprised you haven't kicked my ass for it yet."

"Trust me I'm tempted," Michael quips, not angry at Calum but not not disappointed. Calum surges forward kissing his husband, that was going to have to change then. Not today but soon Calum will go to the tattoo parlor and ink his skin again.

 Calum untangles himself from Michael, the stiff air becoming to overbearing. "I'm going to try and make breakfast, then we go get our daughter." Michael smiles widely, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

-

 

They arrive at the orphanage right on time, hands clasped together when they walk in. They're immediately met by Nayda, the little girl running towards them as fast as her legs will take her. Calum picks her up easily, swinging her around. "There's my girl," he coos, smoothing down her wild hair. Michael plucks her out of Calum's arms, cradling her close to his chest. They smile widely at each other, the response more than anything they could've hoped for. 

"Look at my little angel, you've gotten bigger," Michael whispers, giving her an Eskimo kiss. She giggles back, placing a small hand on Michael's cheek. Calum feels his heart swell, the small toddler becoming the center of his world in a matter of seconds. 

Michael obviously feels the same way, not putting Nadya down until she wiggles in his grasp and reaches for Calum. Calum takes her, keeping her at his hip the way the videos showed, though it could be more instinct then those damn things. 

"She's been having a fit all morning," the secretary says shyly, blushing when Calum locks eyes with her. "Gina finally just sat her here and she calmed down, its like she knew you guys would be back today." Calum just smiles and sits, settling Nadya in his lap. She becomes fascinated with his wedding band, picking at it. 

A minute later the manager walks in with their CPS officer, holding a stack of paperwork. The next hour of so is composed of the officer and manager going over paperwork with Michael and Calum. They sign the needed papers, Michael asking all the right questions at the right time. Calum keeps Nadya at his chest, the little girl falling asleep halfway through the meeting. Towards the end the officer sets check up dates, one in two weeks, two in August and two in September. After that she explains that Calum and Michael can legally adopt Nadya. Calum nods, at this point he would live in this orphanage for three months if it meant at the end they could adopt Nayda. 

Finally Michael and Calum sign off on the last of the paperwork, allowing them to be foster parents of the little girl still asleep against Calum's chest her thumb in her mouth. Lastly the officer checks out Calum and Michael's Range Rover, making sure there was a car seat and diaper bag. Calum holds his breath, wondering if such a car would be suitable for a child. Michael places a gentle hand on the small on Calum's back, shaking his head like he read the thought. "Relax." Calum loosens up his shoulders, Nayda still asleep. The car gets a pass and the officer smiles brightly at them, leaving them with a firm handshake each. 

"Well I believe that was everything," the manager says gently, clasping her own hands. "Just an fyi but Nayda's first birthday is in August. In case you didn't see that." Michael and Calum both nod, shaking hands with them woman. 

"One last thing," Calum finds himself speak, remembering something incredibly important. "Can we take her out of the country? It's just we normally spend Christmas in Sydney." 

The manager knits her brows together, mulling over Calum's question. "Once she's legally yours I don't see why not." with that she waves at them, leaving Calum and Michael in the hot sun. Michael plants a kiss on Nayda's head before kissing Calum, heading into the driverseat. 

Calum looks down at his daughter, his stomach twisting into a knot of nerves. They had their daughter, their own little family. It was now up to him and Michael to not fuck it up. 

-

A surprise visit from CPS, a rushed dinner, and finally putting Nayda down for bed later Calum sneaks downstairs to join Michael in the living room. Duchess stays at the top of the stairs already protective of the little human she had sniffed earlier. Calum pats her head, the puppy already a mess of long legs and oversized paws. 

Nadya had been difficult to put to bed, fussy after her long nap at the orphanage and ride to Calabasas. Michael had given up in frustration leaving the job to Calum who after a solid two hours finally got her to fall asleep. In the end her curiosity with the galaxy mobile Michael had bought had been the thing to lull her into a deep sleep. 

Michael sits curled up on the couch, feet tucked under him. Wilson is next to him, swatting at dust. Calum grins, moving to sit next to his life-long best friend and husband. Michael immediately hands him a mug of tea, steam still rising from it. Calum takes it thankfully, sipping carefully at the liquid. 

"So this is it then, retirement," Michael states, wrapping an arm around Calum's shoulders. Calum leans into the touch, confused. He doesn't remember talking about retirement at the last band meeting. 

"Retired? When did we retire?" 

Michael looks down at Calum, "Well this was the last tour right? The bands done, hanging up the instruments and calling it a day." Michael bites his lip unsure of himself now. Calum becomes more confused, what was Michael on about? He studies his face and sniffs, making sure Michael isn't high or some shit. 

"I'm not high Callie," Michael rolls his eyes fondly, flicking at his ear. "Just think about it, Luke didn't mention anything. I sure as hell don't want to go on another world tour, release another album, and do press in the span of nine months again. Do you?" 

Calum thinks it over. Its when their career is put in perspective like that does he feel old, down right bone tired and old. They've been doing for so long now its become their lives. The band was and very much still everything to all of them, but now their hitting their mid-twenties. By Hollywood's standard that's middle age already, Calum nods, then shrugs. The truth of the matter is he's not ready to hang up his bass just yet, to throw in the rag and say we've had a good run might as well stop here. Here he was at twenty-four and he felt so old. 

"I don't know Mike," Calum answers truthfully. He can't give a definite answer, not right now. If Luke called tonight and said hey lets do it all again one more time he'd probably say yes. Hell five years from now he'd probably still say yes. The thrill of performing never gets old. At the same time if Luke called tonight and said I think the band has had a good run, let's go our separate ways Calum would let out a sigh of relief and tuck himself into bed. The anxiety of still proving your worth too much. 

"Me neither." Michael says softly, scratching Wilson behind the ear. Calum reaches for Michael's hand, the blonde the only constant Calum had in this crazy life he lived. He didn't dare think what would've happened if they didn't stay friends after going to different schools for two years, if he had chosen footie over the band, if.... if Michael had decided to end things all those months ago. 

"We take it one day at a time then," he finds himself saying, "enjoy however much time we have off. We raise Nadya together, we do side projects to keep busy and if Luke calls or we call Luke and say 'hey lets get the band back together' we'll deal with that when it comes." He runs his fingers over the 'X' inked onto Michael's finger, remembering the child hood memory that went with it.

They had been little, playing pretend and searching for treasure. Mali-koa had told an eight year old Calum that 'X' marks the spot to your most valuable belongings and Calum had ran with it, running up to Michael with a pen and sloppily marking and 'X' on his hand. Mali had laughed when Calum had told her what he did, saying that wasn't what she meant leaving Calum at a loss for words. Later when they were eleven and Michael was going away to another school for a while Calum had dug out a sharpie and made a neat 'X' on the inside of his wrist, muttering 'x' marks the spot. 

Michael had scoffed, but kept the mark well into the school year. Later when feelings got messy and Calum found himself kissing Michael more times then for it to be called an accident he explained to Michael the story of why he kept marking 'x's onto him. That Michael was Calum's treasure, putting into words what he felt for his best friend with that story. 

"'X' marks the spot," Michael had whispered when he came back one Saturday afternoon with an 'x' tattooed on his finger before kissing Calum deeply. 

Rousing out of his memory Calum knew what tattoo he should get next. 

Michael is still talking though, not letting the topic about the future go. "Do you think we'll ever move back to Sydney? Like I mean I know Luke and Ashton are expanded the studio and label down there, but can we ever call that place home again?" He goes on, asking a million and one things in the span of five minutes. He covers everything, from his worries about being a good enough dad to having more children, to what they were doing for Nadya's birthday. 

Calum can't help but to laugh, his husband being to endearing for him. True Calum has the same worries plus a few more, Michael just vocalized them much sooner then he did. He places a finger on Michael's lips quieting him down in seconds. "Michael darling slow down."

"You are going to be a great father I just know it," he begins, taking Michael's face in his hands. "Sydney will always be home no matter where we live, but this is our new home now. Where we'll raise Nadya and however many other children we have." He kisses his husband on the nose, moving on. "Maybe we won't ever move back but that's okay we have each other, as as for Nadya's birthday we can literally just have a cupcake and a candle and I'll be happy, she'll be happy because she has a family now too."

"As long as we're together I am the happiest and luckiest man alive."

Michael nods, his eyes watering. He lowers his gaze blinking back the tears rapidly. Calum can feel his own tears prick his eyes he's overcome with emotion, too many emotions and thoughts happening today for him to keep it all in. Michael kisses his palm, taking in a deep breath.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he speaks so quietly, Calum thinks he might've imagined the words into being if it wasn't for the couple of tears that fall from the corners of Michael's eyes. Calum wipes them away, settling himself more comfortably in Michael's lap.

He kisses Michael's forehead and mutters; "No my love what did I do to deserve you?" 

-

 It's the middle of the night when Nadya starts crying, high pitched wails that have Calum shooting up straight in bed and Michael rolling onto the floor. "Fuck!" Calum giggles for a moment before returning the screams coming from down the hall. He staggers out of bed, rubbing at his eyes. 

"Michael get off the fucking floor," He grumbles, nudging the man with his foot.

"What the hell was that?" the older grumbles, standing. 

"Nadya, she's crying." Calum motions to the hall before walking out the masters and hurrying down to Nadya's room. 

Their little girl clings to the railing of the crib they bought, the nightlight illuminating Nadya's crying face. Calum's brain short circuits and he stands there watching her has she makes hands at him. 

Michael on the other hand slaps Calum on the shoulder, walking over to Nadya and picking her up in a fluid motion. Calum startles awake again, going over to Michael and their daughter. He runs his fingers through her hair, mindful of the tangles he'll comb out in the morning. Michael starts humming, rocking her back and forth in his arms. 

Nadya instantly quiets, staring up at the two of them and placing her thumb in her mouth. Calum knows they need to break that habit, but that was a battle for another night. Calum starts humming the same tune as Michael, subtly singing in harmony. Calum watches as she begins closing her eyes, happy to return to bed at last. 

Michael coos one more time over her, moving to set her down. Calum smiles at him, the moment lasting not even five seconds before Nadya is crying again, tiny fist striking at the air. Michael lets out a long sigh, bringing her back to his chest where she quiets again. 

"I don't think she wants to leave us," he whispers, sitting down in the rocking chair they had placed just only yesterday. Calum nods, sitting on the floor besides Michael's legs.  He listens to Michael sing a lullaby, one he doesn't recognize, trying to keep his eyes open. He will not fall asleep on Michael until Nadya is asleep and safe in her crib. 

 

"Callie? Calum, babe," Calum stirs, lifting his head off the armrest of the rocking chair. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, earning a soft giggle from Michael. "Go back to bed in our room."

"What, no-" Calum tries to protest, getting cut off by a yawn. Michael giggles again, swaying from side to side above Calum. Nadya is still in his arms, asleep. Michael tries to put her back in the crib, earning another piercing squeal. 

"Dammit," he whispers softly a small smile on lips. "Calum, it's gonna be a'hile." he slurs, obviously tired himself. Calum makes an effort to stand, trying to take Nadya from Michael. The blonde just shakes his head muttering something Calum can't make out. 

Michael settles back into the rocking chair, yawning widely and closing his eyes. Calum lets him be then, giving Nadya a kiss on the forehead and Michael a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

*

**August**

Nadya's cries wake up Calum who was becoming light sleeper on a good day and an insomniac on the worst of nights. He rolls over staring at the ceiling for a solid minute before glancing at the bedside clock. Neon numbers harass his eyes letting him know it was little over 3 in the morning. Less than an hour since Calum had rocked Nadya back to sleep. 

Nope he wasn't doing it again, he groans, rolling over to Michael who could still sleep like the dead. he thought they were getting good at this, taking turns making sure Nadya fell asleep at the same time every night. He though her sleep schedule was getting better too, since that first night she has slept more and more throughout the night. Tonight it seemed she woke up every thirty minutes crying and screaming. 

He pokes at Michael's back getting a lazy hand swatting at him. "Nnghh." Calum rolls his eyes, nope Michael wasn't getting off this easily, he skipped out on this duty the past two nights citing migraines. Calum knew when Michael had migraines those nights were not it. Bastard. 

"Michael your turn," he says thickly, the crying getting louder. 

"Fuck no," Michael grumbles, sitting up. Calum smirks, nuzzling his face into Michael's pillow. 

"Seriously? Let me get two hours of sleep," Calum mumbles, already dozing back off. 

Calum feels the bed dip, Michael grumbling nonsense at Calum and the beings above. He does catch one words, Michael's snarky, "Bastard." Oops, had he said that out loud? Calum doesn't care just falls back to sleep. 

-

August goes like this: 

A whirlwind of Michael and Calum trying to please CPS officers while maintaining some degree of dignity. Calum looking up new recipes to make for the ones that schedule dinner meetings, finally saying fuck it one night and ordering Thai, spooning the takeout onto their best plates and promising to give the much older officer the recipe of "his delicious pad Thai." When the door closes behind her Michael begins laughing hysterically, Nadya squealing at her father's antics from her high chair. In the end it works because Calum and Michael stop receiving surprise check-ins. 

At the same time they drag Nadya's crib into their room, finding out the little girl likes to be where she can see her dads. Most nights she sleeps until four, Calum and Michael rising out of bed naturally now at that time and falling into bed at around eight thirty right after they put Nadya down. They both still have work, stepping over each other as paperwork fills their office and Nadya is in her bassinet watching them with wide eyes. 

Calum tries to cook every night, even making Nadya's own food because he read somewhere that its more healthier than buying baby food. Some nights though, Michael drags Calum out of the kitchen pressing a beer to his hands and ordering pizza. What the hell is one beer going to do, Michael states one night after Calum makes a pointed remark about random check ups. He points to Nadya gnawing on mushed carrots and peas, she's healthy and eating you need to tone down the stress level Michael had said calmly. 

Calum knows he is starting to look like those commercials where they show the mother trying to parent perfectly but it just comes out as overbearing. He didn't mean for that, he just wants everything to flow perfectly. He wants to make sure he doing a good job at raising his daughter. 

-

Near the end of August Ashton Skype's them while Michael is changing Nadya into her pjs and Calum is drinking his third cup of coffee because he missed a deadline for some tax payments Luke had faxed over and needs to go go go. 

He sits back accepting the video chat. "Michael, Ashton is on Skype!" He yells as Ashton appears on the laptop screen pointing to something off camera. He could really use a nice talk with the man, he felt like he didn't see him enough. Which yeah, they're both extremely busy.

"Oi Calum, you look like shit," Ashton says in lieu of greeting. Michael comes into the room holding a drowsy Nadya, a pacifier replacing her thumb tonight. "Same goes to you Mike." 

"Shut up," Michael grumbles, pointing a finger at Calum. "I had her this close to falling asleep in her bassinet until you yelled." 

"Sorry babe," Calum says sheepishly, he takes their daughter out of Michael's arms, pointing at the screen so Nadya fixes her eyes at Ashton. "See Nadya, that your Uncle Ash, he doesn't have kids so he doesn't know what its like to run on a thirty minute nap in the middle of the kitchen."

"That was your fault," Michael says fondly, waving at Ashton.  Ashton waves back, blowing a kiss to Nadya. 

"So guess what?" Ashton says softly, eyes lighting up. "Me and Bry are coming to LA for Nadya's birthday!" 

Michael claps and Calum gives out a wide smile, even Nadya gurgling something in her own language. "That's great, what about Jess and Luke?" 

"I think they're trying to come down, Luke said something about needing to come to L.A anyways." Calum smiles at Ashton before smiling up at Michael, excited that his friends and pseudo family would be there for his daughter's first birthday. 

-

Ashton comes to L.A a day before Luke and Jessie, minus Bryana. Calum gets pulled into bone crushing hug the minute him and Michael walk through the front door. Thankfully for Calum Nadya is in her high chair, finishing off a kale and green bean concoction she seemed to like. Michael laughs softly, setting down the drummer's luggage. 

"Where is she? I want to see my niece," Ashton exclaims, searching around the unfamiliar house for Calum and Michael's daughter. 

"In the kitchen, follow me," Calum waves, heading back to the kitchen. "And Bry?" 

"Had to take in some extra shifts unexpectedly," Ashton shrugs, "You're losing your accent."

"Your's in getting stronger," Michael points out laughing. "There's my angel!" He cries, getting Nadya out with an ease that Calum wished he had. 

Ashton coos over her, muttering nonsense at the child that waves at him excitedly, she loved meeting new people always reaching for their fingers and speaking to them in her own ways. She tugs on a lock of Ashton's hair making Ashton giggle. "She's like your guys' love child. Green eyes, dark curly hair, and tanned skin?" He raises a brow, smiling. 

It's not the first time the thought has crossed Calum's mind, he wonders how she'll look when she's five, even fifteen. Was she specially given to them for this reason? So Calum can know what a child would look like if him and Michael had been capable of reproducing. 

When Jessie exclaims the same the next night, Calum laughs loudly, planting kisses on Nayda's cheeks. The girl wiggles, giggling and reaching for the delicate necklace around Jessie's neck, earning a mock stern glare from Jessie as she places a protective hand over it. Calum remembers it as the necklace Luke gave her for her nineteenth birthday. Its moment like these that make Calum feel so young, reminded that they were all only twenty a few short years ago. 

*

Jessie surprises Michael and Calum with a homemade cake the next morning. A tall round cake with lilac frosting with blue and pink flowers and a single white candle. "I took her color scheme from the nursery and applied to the cake since I assumed there was no real theme." 

Calum settles Nadya in her high chair, tying up her hair away from her eyes. "It's gorgeous Jessie, what flavor?"

"One layer is vanilla and the other is strawberry with a chocolate filling," Calum's friend smiles tucking away a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Calum gathers her in a hug, ghosting his lips over her forehead. 

"Those are mine and Michael's favorites, you know," Calum giggles, moving around the kitchen to get breakfast ready. 

"I know," Jessie says smugly, opening and closing cabinets. Calum directs her around the two of them falling easily into step, moving around the kitchen and getting breakfast ready. He misses this, cooking at the beach house besides Jessie, only this time around he doesn't burn the food as many times. 

An hour later brings everyone down from the guest rooms, Luke and Ashton walking in pantless in just boxers and shirtless and Michael dressed in basketball shorts and one of Calum's henleys, talking on the phone a few presents hanging off his other hand. 

"Callie, I'm going to get the cake," He yells the front door opening a minute later. Calum blinks once, then twice before he's dialing Michael on his phone.

"Jessie made a cake get your ass back inside," He states, listening to Michael complain on the other end. A minute later he's back in the kitchen praising Jessie on such a beautiful cake. Calum rolls his eyes, serving breakfast to everyone. 

 

After breakfast they sing happy birthday to Nadya who's already dug her fingers into the cake and is sucking the icing off one of her fingers. Calum makes sure to take plenty of pictures, Jessie taking a few on her own Polaroid. He has to admit his favorite one is the one where Nadya has icing smeared on her cheek and he's trying to wipe it off while Michael is cleaning her hands, staring at Calum with so much fond. 

They open Nadya's presents for her, of course, gushing over the tiny dresses, leggings, and shoes Jessie and Luke give her. The brightly colored clothes are a nice contrast to the plain colored clothes he regrets letting Michael buy for her. Ashton gives a few hair accessories and a gift card to a high end baby clothing store. From Mali a couple of dolls and some legos, and both Michael and his parents send a mix of clothes, toy blocks, and different fruity shampoos and body washes. 

-

the next night Jessie blackmails Luke and Ashton into baby-sitting for a few hours, turning to tell them that they were going out and having a grand time. Calum doesn't believe her until she's shoving Michael and Calum into a shower she already has running, partially dressed her self in a tight skirt and bra with her hair in rollers. 

They all head out an hour later, Calum relieved to have one night to himself. Michael turns into the worried parent, calling Luke to needle him every half hour until Jessie buys a round of jaegerbombs. They knock back the shots, Calum feeling oh so much younger now and ready to dance the night away. 

They get home at one in the morning, because what him and Michael really need is a solid eight hours of sleep, but Jessie understands telling them that at least they got out of the house for four hours. A small victory indeed, Calum lets himself think as he scoots closer to Michael. Michael stirs in his sleep, kissing Calum's cheek sloppily.

"Sleep, darling," he whispers. "We might not get another chance."

When Nadya starts crying three hours later, Calum is reminded that this is all he really needs. Not partying all hours of the night and taking shots. Just him, Michael, and Nadya. At least that's what he tells himself as he fights to keep his eyes open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find that I parallel a lot with this fic and Given another Chance. Can't say if I even did it on purpose..  
> Funny story, me and my cousin started talking before we turned one and I literally learned how to walk before I could crawl. So I wrote Nadya being able to walk off of that.   
> Thank you again for reading and everything.


	8. When its Time to Choose a Side...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum watches Luke and Jessie's marriage fall apart. In its aftermath he tries to be there for everyone but can't. In which Calum learns that you can't play both sides and come out a winner.

**January. L.A**

"Happy birthday Calum," Michael murmurs into Calum's ear, stirring him out of sleep. He opens his eyes lazily, focusing on the cupcake in one of Michael's hands and Nadya in the other. He smiles, stretching and sitting up in bed. 

Michael kisses him chastely putting the cupcake in his hands. "Sorry I couldn't set up something more elaborate." Calum shakes his head, blowing out the single candle. He makes a silent wish, tucking it deep into his heart. 

"Don't be, we're busy getting ready for tour," he says, letting Michael bite into the cupcake first. Nadya squirms in his husbands arms, slinking down onto the bed. Calum gives her a little bit of frosting, dropping a kiss on top of her head. 

"Speaking of Nadya," Michael says quickly, "The nanny you hired is coming over here in about two hours." Calum groans biting into the cupcake so he won't have to answer. As much as he wanted to bring Nadya on tour, he was having difficulty finding a nanny that didn't mind traveling. Or even a nanny that had a passport. This last one had been an unexpected blessing but now Calum had to interview her and see how she did with his daughter. 

"Let's get this over with," he grumbles, swinging his legs over the bed. 

 

"Are you sure you can handle everything?" Calum questions the nanny, Becca, as they make their way to rehearsals the next day. "You have the diaper bag?"

Becca laughs, shrill and loud and nods. She was young, only twenty-one and something didn't sit well with Calum but she was CPR certified, had many certificates in fact, and had been working with kids since she was fifteen. Also it helped she had been the only one with a passport so far. "Of course Calum, Nadya will be safe with me." 

Calum nods, hoisting the baby closer to him while they walked into the arena. They were met right away by Luke and Ashton on segways, trying to play catch. "Idiots," Calum mumbled. 

"Luke! Ashton," Michael yelled, waving the two blondes over. "Say hi to Becca, our new nanny." 

Calum can tell the exact moment Becca's sweet and innocent demeanor shifts into a more sultry one. Her dark eyes narrow as she looks over Luke, subconsciously pulling her sweater lower and flipping her darker hair to one side. She puts on a cheerful smile, cocking her hip. "Hi, you must be Luke and Ashton. I've heard so many great things about you," Becca trills, sticking her hand out towards Luke. 

Luke smiles easily, not so subtly checking out the curvy girl. Calum feels tense, a warning signal going off in his head. He watches Becca and Luke chat, ignoring Ashton. The older guy sends a confused look over to Calum and Michael. 

Michael shrugs for them and waves them. They had band practice after all. They leave Luke and Becca talking jumping on stage, starting without their front man. 

*

**February**

They had three weeks until tour started and Calum wanted to scream. Nothing was going right, Luke seemed more interested in flirting and they had crossed out several set lists over the span of two weeks. Calum was also finding it increasingly hard not to call out Luke and Becca's flirting, their little outings to the mall masked as play dates for Nadya. 

Currently the three of them were waiting for Luke to show up at the practice venue, rolling dice and tuning guitars. Calum had a feeling he knew where Luke was put didn't want to be proven right, just yet. 

"Where the fuck is Luke?" Ashton speaks up, looking around the venue. He pulls out his cell and dials Luke's number, shaking his head when he gets sent to voicemail. 

Five minutes later Luke runs with a bottle of green juice in his hands, talking on cell angrily. A minute later Becca walks in with Nadya, sporting a twin juice with her own curly hair messed up. Annoyance and anger flares in Calum's chest, but he can only talk to them when they're not together so he won't make a scene. 

"Jessie I told you I was busy," Luke pauses, holding the phone away from his ear and rolling his eyes at them. "I promise to call later on, okay? Look I gotta go, practice is starting." 

"Busy doing what Luke?" Ashton says heatedly, sending a pointed look at a distracted Becca. Luke looks down at his feet, revealing a dark mark on his shoulder. Okay, that did it. Calum stands, bumping into Luke hard. 

"Luke, join me for a minute." He pulls out his mic pack, making sure Luke does the same to his. They walk to a random room, Calum waiting until the door is fully closed before he yelled. 

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" he snaps, feeling his fists ball. Was he not thinking about Jessie at all? "You are married you asshole."

Luke gives a tight smile, "It's just flirting Calum, tone it down." His words only really fuel on Calum.

"That is my daughters nanny Luke! And what about that mark on your shoulder," he yells, squaring up in front of the blonde. "How could you just lie to Jess like that?" 

Luke's expression changes to quickly for Calum to read, settling on a blank mask. "Don't go there Calum, it's a bruise. She... reminds me of Jessie in a way." Calum has to count himself down before he slaps the guy.

"Break things off Luke," he says calmly. "Or I tell Jessie." he moves to walk out of the room, ready to end the day. Luke stops him, putting a hand on his chest. 

"You better not," Luke says smugly, "Or I get back at Michael for punching me years ago." Calum rolls his eyes, he had a solid twenty pounds over the him, and shoves past. Michael had a better punch then Luke anyways, Luke wouldn't get a hit in. Either way, Calum settles with giving Becca a stern look before taking Nadya out of her arms and declaring band practice over the day. 

-

"What did he say?' Michael asks, looking over at Calum as they drive home. 

"He threatened to fight you if I told Jessie," Calum huffs, banging his head against the window. "I'd like to see him try." 

Michael snorts, turning serious again. "Cal, baby, maybe you should just stay out of this one."

"Why? Jessie is our friend." 

"Yeah, but--" Michael chews on his bottom lip, trying to find the right words to say, "Luke's been our friend longer and Jessie can handle herself. Plus Luke signs our paychecks." 

Damn, he forgot about that. Cons to running your own label. "Babe, Luke isn't thinking straight." 

"Calum stay out of it," Michael surprises Calum with his sharp tone, hinting at annoyance and anger. Calum let's it be, if only to spare them a fight. 

And maybe if he holes himself up in the office late at night to talk things over with Ashton, then that really wasn't Michael's business. 

*

**March**

Late the first week of March tour kicks off at the Forum, bringing the same nerves and excitement as the past tours. This one was more intense, though, tonight they would announce this was the last tour they would be going on. Period, the end. They had all agreed only two days ago to hang up everything after this tour. A much needed break sounding better each time Calum thought about it. 

In the morning Calum drops off Wilson and Duchess at Ashley's, saying bye to his beloved pets that he won't see for eight months. With nothing else to do he decides to stop by Luke's house, smooth things over with the guy. After all eight months on tour was a long time to hate someone. Then again Calum had held a grudge for much longer. 

He lets himself into the house, the spare key in the exact spot he had left it in months ago. He walks into the house to hear Luke singing, probably in the shower. He shrugs and walks into the kitchen, wistfully hoping Luke had other things besides junk food. 

In the kitchen he finds Becca taking photos in one of Luke's shirts, bare faced and hair dripping wet. He clears his throat startling her. She turns wide-eyed and pouty lips forming an 'o'. "Calum, what brings you here?" She recovers quickly, asking in a sweet voice.

"What do you expect to get out of this Becca?" He confronts, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer. "He's married." 

"I don't see this wife of his anywhere," she snaps, turning mean. 

"She owns a business in Sydney," Calum responds back, chugging the beer. Becca just shrugs, going back to her phone. From this angle Calum can see her post it to Twitter, her notifications blowing up. Calum makes a face, Jessie never did that with any of them. Always respected their privacy, only posted when she was sure had permission indefinitely. 

"I get that you get instant satisfaction from doing all this crap, but don't start shit." Calum growls, feeling his anger return. "Luke is happily married, and I know his wife. She hates being dragged into drama like this." 

"If he's happy, then why I am here? In his house?" She smiles, turning her pretty face into something sour. Calum had asked himself the same reason, pinning it on Luke missing Jessie and Becca was a poor substitute. Now he wasn't so sure of Luke and Becca's motives.

"Ready to go-" Luke comes to a halt eyeing Calum. Calum bites his tongue mumbling whatever to Luke and walking out the house. So much for smoothing things over.  

 

 

It doesn't stop. He constantly finds Luke and Becca in compromising positions , Nadya playing quietly on the floor. He admits she's good with her, never once neglecting her. Maybe that's why he keeps her on instead of firing her. Or maybe its the pictures that spread throughout the internet, taken both by fans and paparazzi. He wonder's if Jessie knows, has seen any of it. He knows she doesn't like looking at the media outlets. It gives her anxiety, he remembers, so probably not. 

He takes upon himself to invite himself, Michael, and Ashton along to Luke and Becca's beach 'date'. He smiles smugly as he watches Luke give him a look of irritation, his fingers mingling with Becca's.

He confronts Luke again that night, against Michael's protestations, demanding why he was going along with her schemes. Ashton backs him up, letting him know no one approved of his before. "It was one thing when we were all single, Luke, but you're married, Calum's married, and I have Bry. Let it go." 

Luke shakes his head, looking mad. "I'm not doing anything, she feels lonely so I keep her company. She's not that bad give her a chance." Calum takes a deep breath in, barely keeping it together, just barely. With all the photos out there, he still chose to lie. 

"It's one thing to be her friend, its another when you two are kissing and holding hands," he mutters darkly, tossing the printed pictures of Luke and nanny at him. Luke's attitude changes, looking guilty and ashamed. "You're damn luck Jessie hasn't seen these and videos."

"There's videos?" Luke says weakly, admitting defeat. 

"It's fucking California, Luke, of course there is. You can't take a shit without someone capturing it," Ashton yells, stunning him. Luke gives a weak laugh, shoving the pictures aside. 

"Okay, I'll admit things got out of hand. But would you blame me, look at her!" Luke cries, and yes, Calum has to admit she's attractive. Curvy and petite, with big brown eyes and full lips, but Luke wasn't getting off that easily. 

"I like men, thank you," Calum snarks, just because he can. 

"Bullshit. You just like Michael." 

"End things now," Ashton says, standing up. "Or Calum and I tell, and no threats this time Luke." Luke nods, finally silent for once.

"You can't deny it's good promo, though," he says softly, staring hard at the evidence in front of him. Calum rolls his eyes, done with the conversation. Ashton shakes his head steering Calum out of the room.

-

Things are good until they reach San Diego. They all decide to celebrate the night by going out to a fancy club, high off the excitement of another successful show. Michael is the only one to hang back, opting to taking Nadya back to the tour bus and go to bed. Calum decides to go, solely to keep an eye on Luke and Becca. So far he had been distant with the girl going so far as to stop talking to her today. Good, Calum allows himself, sipping on beer.

The night gets out of hand far too quickly for Calum to remember. He knows one minute the four of them toasting to a successful tour, the next Ashton is dragging him out to dance. He doesn't know how long he dances but the next time he makes is way over to the bar he can't find Becca or Luke. He shrugs, not wanting to kill his buzz just yet.

Later he gets antsy, he still hasn't seen the two but he's tipsy himself, showing a random girl a picture of Nadya and Michael to her and gushing about his family. Ashton tells him to relax, have another shot. He downs it quickly, heading back out out to the dance floor.

It's near the end of the night when he catches them. Pressed up close and Becca biting down on Luke's bottom lip. He can see someone out of the corner of his eye take a low light photo of them. Luke's smiles, pulling her in by the hips. Calum finds Ashton quickly, telling them they have to go. _Now_. 

He doesn't expect the paparazzi outside the club. Someone must have tipped them off. The flash blinds him, making him stumble. He glances behind him, Becca covering her face to hide the wide smile she is currently wearing, her other hand clutching Luke's. The paps seem focused just on Luke, circling him and Becca. Luke shakes his head, winding an arm around the girls waist. Calum just stares until Ashton is pushing him towards the car, motioning him to get in. 

As they reach the car Becca stops, pulling Luke into a messy kiss. He kisses back stupidly, pulling her closer. Ashton sighs, and goes up to them dragging them apart and into the car. Calum could see the trainwreck heading their way. 

-

The next morning Luke and Becca's picture is on every media outlet. Even appearing on G-Goddmn M-A. Calum and Ashton try to do damage control, but there was just too many photos and not enough truth from Luke. He fires Becca, giving her a handsome last check along with a confidentially contract he watches her sign. He calls Jessie twice, leaving frantic voicemails. Better to hear it from him then anyone else.

Ashton puts Luke on radio silence, but the blonde is already packing as he races against time to save his marriage. He manages to yell at Becca, scaring the young girl into leaving. Three hours later, he's on a flight to Sydney. 

Michael tries to talk him out of it, but with Jessie not answering and Calum feeling desperate he finds himself buying a plane ticket for him and Ashton. The blonde agrees to go with him, quickly shoving clothes into his duffel bag. It was getting late, Luke would land in Sydney first.

"Do not leave me here with Nadya to do damage control! Don't leave me, period," Michael yells, throwing socks at Calum. Calum catches sight of the cigarette pack on the nightstand and quickly dumps them into the trash as Michael scolds him. "I told you to stay fucking out of it." 

"Then it would be a hell of a lot worse," Calum yells back. "Jessie is our friend, Mike!" 

"It's not your fight! Luke claims it was PR anyways," Michael retorts, moving to stand in front of the door. "Stay here, let Ashton go." 

"I can't do that Mikey, Jess is my best friend," Calum says calmly, pressing a kiss to a sleeping Nadya. 

"When are you going to realize you can't play both sides?"

"Its Jessie, Michael. She's family!"

"Yeah but we're not on tour with her are we?" Michael grumbles losing his anger. "Go Calum, abandon your actual family."

"Don't guilt me, I asked if you wanted to come instead," Calum snaps, zipping up his bag.

"Just go Calum, just fucking go," Michael says, his voice rising with each word. Calum leaves quickly before he can change his mind and stay to apologize to Michael. As he walks away he can hear Nadya begin to cry. 

-

His guilt only lets him stay a few days, anxious to get back to his family. During that time he hold Jessie, letting her cry out her pain. Luckily he had gotten a hold of her right before the plane boarded, but Luke got to the house first. He hears her curse his name, makes her tea and reminds her to eat. He has to bathe her, because she's too drunk to even stand.

She only has one thing on her mind, "Why?" she screams it, cries it out, whispers it even. Calum doesn't have the answer to that. Can't make sense of what Luke was trying to accomplish. Was it all a stunt? But then why keep it from Jessie? Or did Luke really fall off the deep end and that was his shit way of trying to cover it up. 

He texts Mali-koa, telling her to try and fly down to watch over his best friend. Ashton does the same with Lauren, hoping that girl time could help heal Jessie's broken soul and heart. Calum can feel her pain, it would shatter him if Michael pulled something like that. To have your soulmate rip you apart and break you down was another level of pain. 

After Luke moves his stuff out she asks them both to stay the night. Calum makes soup, all but spoon feeding it to her to make sure she eats something. He doesn't like the empty look she gives them, how pale her tanned skin has gotten. Even her wavy hair falls limp around her like a curtain. He doesn't let Jessie out of his sight, scooting into her bed and rubbing her back until she falls asleep crying. Ashton joins him, texting Bryana. 

"Love you," she whispers, and Calum can feel his heart squeeze tight. There's nothing he can say to her now as he stares at his wedding band. In another lifetime maybe... 

During the night he pulls Ashton aside, watching Jessie fall into a fitful sleep. They creep downstairs and raid the liquor cabinet. "What do you think will happen?" he asks quietly, pouring a glass of whisky for the both of them.

Ashton takes his time, taking three measured sips of the amber liquid. "If she knows whats good for her, she'll leave him." 

Calum nodded, he knew that would be the logical thing. Even if Luke had been drunk off his ass that night, it didn't make up for what was already happening. He knew Jessie wasn't going to leave him though. Yet he decides to play along, "Do think she'll stop talking to us?" 

"I'd hope so, with us still in the picture there will always be a chance of them getting back together," Ashton says sadly. They had all become so attached to the gentle spirit Jessie was, seeing her hurt made them hurt. She fitted in so nicely with the group she almost like a sister to everyone, a something special to each and every one of them. 

They stay quiet, listening to noises Calum had started to forget. Luke and Jessie were heading towards an unhealthy relationship he decides. Always trying to re-break each others hearts. Calum shook his head, he had Michael and Nadya to get back to. If Michael wasn't still mad at him, that is. Dynamics we're definitely going to change again once they went back on the road. Luke needed a serious guilt trip, not him. He finishes the drink, clapping Ashton on the back.

"She's not going to leave him." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; it was my original headcanon for calum and jessie to get together in the sequel or in the third part, but I scrapped that idea somewhere in the middle of what was not expected. This chapter and next (as well as chapter 12 of Given another chance) are what remains of that story line. Funny huh?


	9. ...I'll Choose You Every Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life and tour go on and the band struggles to repair it's relationships. Calum faces Michael's anger as his husband shuts him out of his heart. Luke deals with the shame and guilt of what he did, but can he forgive himself? Ashton decides the band needs to go banding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda decided that the second part should be posted quickly, lol, enjoy!

**April-May**

Tour must go on, Calum thinks bitterly as he stares outside the bus window. He really doesn't know where the band is currently, they could be in a whole other country and he wouldn't know. The fields and roads all look the same after a while. He closes his eyes, listening to the cartoon he had put on for Nadya. 

He hasn't heard anything from Jessie and maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was best if everyone just went separate ways for the next few months. He didn't try to think about losing his best friend, the only other person he could talk to about anything besides Michael. Which was the other problem. Michael wouldn't say it out loud but Calum knew he was taking Luke's side on this purely out of spite. He was still a great parent, but he barely looked and talked to Calum anymore. Lucky thing the bus had more than one bed. 

"Calum," Michael says sharply walking into the living area of the bus. "Has Nadya had her snack yet?" Calum let out a long breath, he was so very close to just sticking his head out the window and screaming until he couldn't no more. 

"No, Michael. She doesn't want a snack," Calum says instead, keeping his voice level. Honestly, he didn't understand why Michael was this pissed. He came back, he came back and begged forgiveness for something that didn't need an apology. If anything it should be Luke that was mad at him, but all Luke did these days was sigh and look at his wedding pictures. All Calum did was help out his friend and here he was getting the cold shoulder from his husband. 

"Where's Claudia? she should be watching over our daughter," Michael gripes, voice laced with annoyance.

"Claudia is on the other bus trying to teach Ashton to knit, because I'm here watching our daughter," Calum says tiredly, cracking an eye open to check on Nadya. Yep, still playing with her train set. 

Michael snorts, fixing a sandwich for himself. Calum rolls his eyes done with Michael's attitude. "I would like Claudia here at all times because who knows if you'll just get up and leave again." And that does it, Michael's stupid snide remarks about him. 

He can take the whispers and stares, can handle the press and mean things said in the media. Hell, he can fucking handle Luke when his rare bouts of rage are pointed at him, but he will not sit there and listen to Michael throw shade at him and degrade his parenting skills. "Michael!" 

"What, Calum?" Michael asks innocently, turning his green eyes at Calum. Calum knows Michael even more then he knows himself, and he can see the anger and humor playing out across his face. He points to the bunk room and all but stomps his way over. 

Michael slams the door, his hand griping at the frame so tight his knuckles turn white. "I don't want to hear it," he mutters, but turns to face Calum anyways. 

"I don't see why you are mad at me, I said sorry," Calum starts crossing his arms over his chest. "You know I would never abandon my family, but Jessie is family too and she needed me. If you had seen her you would've understood, but no, you take Luke's side on this!" He yells, hands gesturing widely. 

"I'm taking Luke's side because even if he did fuck up, he's our friend first Calum," Michael yells back. "I told you to stay out of it because I knew this would happen, that mess was Luke and Jessie's to deal with not ours!" He points to himself and then to Calum, emphasizing his point. 

"Look at us now, the band can't even look at each other, much less put on a decent show, and you're over here complaining because I won't forgive you?"

"Yes!" Calum says heatedly, holding back hot tears. He didn't want to cry, but he could feel himself losing Michael all over again, and losing his friends. "Because it has always been us first and I've all but kissed your feet to show how sorry I am but I couldn't let Luke go to Sydney by himself. You know him and Jessie are a trainwreck waiting to happen. If Ashton and I weren't there, there would've been a bigger mess to clean." He can see some of Michael's resolve break, and oh how he hated this fight. It was both a fight between friends and lovers, a fight between the band. Those were always the worst.

"If it has always been us first, Calum, why'd you leave?" Michael says quietly, slipping out the door and leaving Calum by himself. Calum lets the tears flow, throwing himself into one of the bunks and wrapping his arms around himself. He doesn't care at this point if Michael can hear his sobs, in fact he wishes Michael would come back and join him. 

But he was alone in this, torn between his love of his husband and his best friend. 

-

They do try to put on good shows, downing redbull and vodka before they go on so they're smiling and giggling like teenagers again. But its false enthusiasm, easily looked over. Calum knows this, he can feel the energy drop with each show they put on, see the fans expressions when he kneels down to play his bass solos. They're not impressed and the band knows it. 

Bless Ashton because if it wasn't for him, none of them would talk during the concert and then they all would really be in trouble. They all walk around Luke like he's made of glass, the singer constantly on the verge of tears. Calum listens to board directors and label people scold them, not listening and uncaring. Calum can take the world is ending from everyone except Ashton, especially not him. 

Which is why he avoids the drummer until Ashton all but locks them in a dressing room after sending Claudia away with Nadya tucked into the nanny's arms. "This needs to stop," Ashton points at Calum, then Michael, and finally Luke. Luke doesn't look at any of them, lost in his sorrow and shame. Michael sits next to Calum, inches away from him but Calum knows better than to try and reach for his hand. 

"What needs to stop Ashton?" Michael says sarcastically, raising a brow. 

"Well first of all your goddamn attitude," Ashton is having none of their shit today, his voice tight. "That has to go Michael, don't put it past me to drag you and Calum to couples therapy if you don't kiss and makeup in three days." He gives Michael a stern look, Michael deflating and looking so much sadder than Calum remembers. 

"Calum for the love of god, stop wallowing," Ashton continues, pacing the room. "What happened, happened we can't turn back time. You and Michael need to understand that. I know you love them both, but what's more important here, right now?" Calum nods, biting down on his lip so he won't cry again. 

"We have damage control to do, we to salvage whats left of this tour because everyone from Ryan Seacrest to our own mothers know something is very wrong." Calum lets Ashton babble on about fan reactions to the label heads being disappointed, of course he knew all this he runs that department, but hearing it from Ashton makes it all so real, too real. Ashton goes on about how to fix the shows, doing a few more interviews to fix what happened in San Diego. 

"Ashton slow down," Michael suddenly speaks up, waving a head at Luke. They all look at the lead singer, the youngest and overall Calum's pain in the ass since he was seventeen. But Luke was Calum's pain in the ass and the shell of the man sitting in front of them wasn't it. 

Luke's crying, silently. He just stares at Ashton, tears running down his face as he does nothing to stop them. "I fucked up, I am so sorry" he whispers, putting his head in his hands. "This wasn't supposed to happen, I let down everyone, especially the fans." 

"Luke, what brings this around?" Ashton says quietly, kneeling in front of Luke. Luke shakes his head quick, breathing becoming erratic. 

"This band was my everything and I destroyed it, I hurt every one of you guys and I am so sorry," he mumbles, throwing himself into Ashton's arms. Ashton holds him, too shocked to do anything else. "We shouldn't even be on tour right now, but I push you guys and you follow and... and..." he starts sobbing in earnest now, words becoming tangled and unintelligible. 

"Shhh," Ashton murmurs, and Calum doesn't know when but somehow he finds himself wrapping his arms around Luke, not quite forgiving him but the pain Luke was going through was something Calum didn't want to see again. Michael comes over a heartbeat later, wrapping one hand around Luke's shoulders and the other around Calum's waist. It was a start, Calum acknowledges, tilting his head towards his husband. Michael gives him a watery smile before kissing Luke's temple lightly. 

"Looks like we need to go banding," Michael says softly, resting his cheek on Luke's. Calum nods, Ashton mimicking the motion. 

Luke sniffles, sobs finally subduing. "I want my wife back."

And well, there was no fixing that with hugs. 

-

For most of the interviews they did, they split up in pairs. Luke and Michael would be ushered in to a separate room from Calum and Ashton as they did damage control, explaining the narrative they had all agreed on. If they have to do an interview together Luke doesn't talk and Ashton handles everything. The stress becomes evident with each line etched onto Ashton's face, and silver hair that pops up. Calum constantly worries over the older man, always checking to make sure he takes his medications and in the right doses. 

 

"I'm sorry but can my daughter sit in please? I promise she'll be quiet," Calum asks the radio host, already planting Nadya down on the couch with her favorite blanket and toys. He slides her backpack off his shoulders, handing her a container of cheerios. "She refuses to take a nap, and it's frustrating our nanny." And his husband, Calum thinks, Michael in a particularly mean mood today.

"No of course she can stay here," the radio host waves him off, "I don't mind, and she is pretty adorable." 

"Thank you," Calum says feeling flushed with pride. Him and Ashton settle into the chairs and he can't help but feel the ache at the other two empty chairs next to him. They should be here, Calum realizes, if one of us goes down we all go down. But he knows that can't happen since Michael will still pick a fight with Calum on air and it'll make Luke break down. Rightfully so their three days were past due and Ashton had silently slipped the couples therapist card at him with a time and place. So this is what it comes to, Calum thinks toying with a bracelet a fan had thrown up stage the previous night. We go down in flames instead of glory. 

"So I hate to ask a question that's probably been beaten into the grave; but can you two clear what exactly happened that week in March? We know there were pictures of Luke with someone not his wife and there is an obvious rift now in the band, care to explain?" No, Calum wants to yell at the man, no because it is none of your business. Yes, Calum knows that this is affecting the band but really who wouldn't it affect.

Calum looks blankly at Ashton and tilts his head, Ashton sighs and leans into his mic. "You know what happened was that Luke and Calum's nanny became close friends and there really isn't much to read into there except people do crazy shit when they're drunk. It doesn't excuse the action, of course not, but outside of that incident there was nothing going on." Bullshit, Calum wants to say, to tell the actual truth. But the actual truth would land all of them and Jessie and in a bigger scandal.

"As for the band, we were all close with Luke's wife and it sort of put the strain on all of us. We can't play both sides and in the end choices were made that upset everyone, however I can say we are using these next few days off to re-evaluate the bands intra-relationships," Ashton finishes, cracking his knuckles hard. The bands intra-relationships, Calum wants to snort, Ashton means him and Michael. 

"And we promise to be grown ups and put on better shows," Calum finds himself saying, glancing at Nadya. "We all might be going through something but we need to leave that backstage and put our fans first." He leans back, done with the topic. The radio host seems to understand that and moves on to another question.

Afterwards, back on the bus, Michael sits next to Calum fingering the card he had put in Michael's wallet. "Ashton really wants us to go," is all Calum can muster, running his fingers through Nadya's hair, the toddler asleep on his chest. 

"Do you think we should?" Michael asks, serious. Calum stays quiet, unsure what Michael was getting at. It seemed like both their tempers ran hot these days and Calum wasn't in the mood for another screaming match with Nadya on him. Michael sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Callie--"

"Don't call me that," Calum snaps, "You're not allowed to call me that right now." 

Michael gives a weak grin before moving to his knees, and placing his hands in Calum's lap. "Calum, look at me darling." Calum obliges, drawn to Michael's soft words. "I should've forgiven you a long time ago, you know how I can hold a grudge though. I... I guess I was scared that you would leave me and Nadya, hell I'm always scared, but you have something special with Jess and I panicked thinking for a moment, thinking you wouldn't want to be with me anymore." Michael bows his head, burying his face into Calum's lap. "I'm so sorry Calum, I shouldn't doubt you." 

And hell if Calum didn't have Nadya in his arms right now he would joining Michael on that floor, his husband sobbing into his lap. Instead he tugs Michael up with one hand guiding him to his side and kissing him softly on the mouth. "Mikey please stop crying," Calum sobs out, his own tears streaking down his cheeks. "You had every reason to be mad and scared, but I promised you a long time ago I would never leave you, that hasn't changed." 

"I know," Michael says quietly, resting his head on Calum's shoulder. Calum finds himself wondering for what must be the thousandth time what he did right to have Michael in his life. "I- maybe we should see that therapist, we seem to have trouble talking about our feelings." 

"Only if you want to," Calum murmurs, "we can go." Michael kisses his cheek and everything is right between them. "I love you, you know that"? Calum uses his free hand to lace their fingers together, showing off the 'x' tattoo he had gotten nearly three weeks ago.

"I love you," Michael whispers, "when did you get that?" 

Calum laughs, really laughs for what feels like the first time in months and shakes his head. "If you hadn't been so mad at me you would've noticed it." Michael laughs lowly, pressing another kiss to Calum's temple. He lets out a long sigh, as long as things were good between him and Michael he could handle the world ending just a little bit more. They both watch their daughter sleep, curled up on Calum's chest and one hand clutching at the fabric of his shirt. 

"We must have done something right to deserve her," Michael says softly, smoothing out her curls. Calum nods, holding the little girl tighter, what they did he doesn't know but he isn't about to question it. 

-

Night comes all too quickly, and after Nadya is asleep Calum can't seem to keep his hands off his husband. He brings him close, both of them toppling into the bed that they hadn't used since going back on tour. Michael is just as greedy, digging fingers into Calum's ass as he kisses him messily and rocking against him. Calum can't help that they're passionate people, he thinks, biting down at the junction between Michael's throat and shoulder. 

Clothes are shed quickly, leaving them both naked in every sense as they re-acquaintance themselves with each others bodies, leaving their marks on the other. Calum finds himself tracing every detail of Michael with his tongue, letting his lips linger on the blonde's mouth to suck on his lower lip. Michael is just as eager to have Calum on top of him, wrapping his legs around him and pulling him against his chest.

They take their time, letting themselves get caught up in the moment of it all. Michael squirms under Calum, scratching at his chest and back as Calum works a finger into him. Calum huffs, leaving the bed for mere seconds before coming back with a scarf. "Come here," he demands softly, Michael's eyes glinting at the scarf in his hands. 

"Want to try something out?" Calum asks lowly, his voice thick. Michael nods and Calum is tying Michael's hands together, not so tight but tight enough. He resumes his work of making Michael fall apart, kissing him every time he gets a little too loud.  

"Don't ever leave me again," Michael gasps out, scrunching up his nose when Calum finally enters him. Calum watches Michael's features, stalling, face etched with uncertainty. Calum begins thrusting into Michael, keeping a steady pace. 

"How many times do I have to say, I'm not leaving you," Calum demands, thrusting into Michael. He picks up speed, fucking into his husband.

"One more time," Michael says between gasps for air. Calum slows down for just a minute, kissing Michael messily. The blond tries his bonds, opting to wrap his legs tighter around Calum.

"I'm not leaving you, ever," Calum says lowly, sucking a lovely mark onto Michael's shoulder. "I'm yours, forever." He picks up his pace again, letting Michael know just how much he meant to him.

"Your mine," Michael hum, finally undoing the knot on the scarf. He grips Calum's shoulder with one hand, using the other to trace his jaw. "I'm yours."

"All mine" Calum breathes, pressing his cheek closer to Michael's palm. Michael nods, tracing Calum's lips as he wraps his hand around Michael's cock, stroking the length. Michael moans loudly arching his back off the bed. 

"Shh you're gunna wake up the girls," Calum giggles, feeling himself come undone as Michael clenches around him. He wasn't going to last much longer. 

Michael rolls his eyes, moaning softly. Calum bends down to kiss Michael as he comes, his orgasm taking him by surprise. Michael comes moments later, leaving the both of them panting against each other's cheeks. 

They fall asleep tangled up, the sheets thrown off the bed. Calum smiles against Michael's chest tracing lines into the older man's hipbone. He can feel Michael card fingers through his hair, lulling him asleep. In that moment Calum realizes he can't leave again, won't leave his family again. Put aside what he felt for his other best friend, Michael was his home and he wasn't breaking that trust again. 

*

**June.  Somewhere in Mexico.**  

"What. The. Fuck?" Michael states as they step off the bus. Luke and Ashton join them from the other bus, Calum letting Nadya walk towards her uncles. 

"Stop cussing in front of her, she'll be speaking soon," Calum chides, watching Ashton swing her over and onto his shoulders. "Um what is this Ashton?" 

"Banding," Ashton smiles at them, dragging a cooler behind him. Luke looks equally confused, holding three backpacks and a first aid kit. Calum shares a look with Michael before he's walking back into the bus and gathering some of Nadya's things into her own backpack and packing clothes and food for them all. 

"Mr. Hood," Claudia interrupts, staring at the backpacks in Calum's hands. "What exactly is going on?" the older woman asks, looking out into the Mexican wilderness and back at Calum. 

Calum lets out a long sigh and shrugs, "Ashton has lost his mind is what has happened. You can join the rest of the tour crew if you'd like, no one else seems to be joining us." Claudia nods once before she is walking back to her bunk, probably happy to have a few days off. 

Calum joins Michael at the edge of the campsite, eyeing the path. Michael laughs loudly, holding sleeping bags in his arms. "We're all going to die." 

"No kidding," Calum mutters and begins walking down the trail to certain doom. 

Ashton's banding goes like this: After they manage to set up tents and sleeping bags, Ashton sits them down for another of his serious chats. He talks about band relationships and how they all need to pull themselves together which brings about another crying bout from Luke. Calum leaves Michael and Ashton to sort that out and takes Nadya down to where a man made lake is and lets her wade in the shallow end. 

That night they roast marshmallows and laugh over Nadya's fingers and cheeks becoming sticky with chocolate. 

"Fuck!" she squeals, causing a most likely heart attack in Calum's chest. Everyone pauses for a heartbeat, before Michael is laughing loudly, Luke and Ashton not far behind.

"Did she say what I think I heard?" Luke giggles, and soon everyone is laughing harder over the one year old's sudden ability to speak.

Michael is red-faced, glancing over at Calum with wide eyes. "I didn't think she'd pick that up!" he exclaims, wiping chocolate off her face and gently trying to get her to stop saying the word. Calum for what its all worth just laughs, feeling the knot in his chest he didn't think he had loosen up. With everyone laughing again, the stars seem to shine a little brighter. 

"Told you to stop cussing in front of her." 

 

The little camping excursion mends most of the wounds and suddenly its easier to get on stage as they play Mexico city two nights later, then Brazil, then a show in Columbia. Michael and Ashton explore the cities, coming back with dolls and cute dresses for Nadya. Calum finds it easier to breath around Luke as they settle quietly into going over what songs should go on the acoustic album. Luke wonders around the beaches by himself most nights, returning with seashells he later string into a necklace for Nadya. 

All too soon they're flying out to Europe, first stop Ireland. In line at the airport Calum can see just how badly the guilt is eating up Luke. He's paler when he should be tanned thanks to Rio's beaches, and skinnier, bundled up in a sweater and loose shirt. 

"Hey Lukey," Calum says softly, using a nickname he hasn't used since they were teenagers. "You good?" He decides to swallow whatever hatred still burns in him, deciding that it's not a nice feeling. 

"No," Luke says bluntly, "How can I be when I single handedly ruined my life and Jessie's... and by extension yours?" Luke brushes past him, getting lost in the sea of people. Ashton appears out of nowhere, clapping him on the back. 

"He won't forgive himself," Ashton says quietly, handing over a coffee to Calum. "If he can forgive himself, he can let us all back in." Calum nods and follows the drummer, knowing Michael would be waiting for him already with their daughter and nanny. 

Forgiveness was a lot harder than it sounded. 

*

**July.**  

In London they record the acoustic album. They had decided on twenty of the songs that meant the most of them and they had one week to record it all. They spend Ashton's birthday holed up in the studio, recording most of the songs on two takes. Luke seems to thrive off the tight deadline, hitting all the right notes and playing his guitar perfectly. Long nights in the studio broken up by breaks of Chinese takeout and pizza finally mend the three of them, leaving only Luke to forgive himself. 

On the last day of recording he sits against the wall staring at the list of songs chosen to go on the album. Calum can see the blond about to break and sits next to him, "What's left?" 

"The Only Reason and Carry-On," Luke murmurs, and Calum can see the few stray tears that streak down Luke's cheeks. "Calum can I tell you something?" Calum nods, resting his head against the wall and closing his eyes. 

"Recording this album made me realize all the good that was given to me," he starts, clearing his throat multiple times. "and I know I've fucked one too many times for any of you to forgive me anymore, and I just hate myself for all this. I wish I could turn back time and stop all this from happening but I can't and dammit I wish I wasn't such a shit person-" 

"I love her, god Calum, I love her and now I've lost her. She wants nothing to do with me anymore." Luke bites down on his lip hard, shaking his head so fast Calum worries about him for a second. "Why? Why did I do this?"

"Shh," Calum finds himself reaching for Luke, tucking him under his arms and holding him tight. "You can't hate yourself forever Luke, its not healthy and you need to move past this. We all forgive you, you need to find it in yourself to forgive... you." Luke nods, carefully wrapping his arms around Calum. It was true, Calum no longer felt a burning hatred for Luke but sympathy, he had forgiven Luke. 

"Okay," Luke whispers, sounding a little more hopeful. 

 

The next show they play Luke dances around the stage, shouting into the crowd and singing with his heart on sleeve. Calum smiles into the crowd, the energy high and this is what Calum will remember years from now, the crowd singing back to them letting them know they forgive the band as well. 

* 

**August. Moscow.**

"Papa, look!" Nadya squeals pointing to some fancily decorated eggs. Souvenir Fabrege eggs, Calum says to himself, reading the sign. Now that his daughter was talking, sometimes in full sentences, Calum had gotten into the habit to reading things out loud so Nadya would pick up on the way words and reading worked together. 

It also happened to be Nadya's second birthday. Michael had stayed behind knowing how bad things could turn out if they both stepped out together, Calum wishes it didn't have to be like this but he would rather be safe then sorry. Never mind that the fans knew Calum and Michael were married. So here he was strolling down Moscow with Claudia and Nadya, Calum's arms carrying a few gifts for his sister and mother, and Jessie he admits. 

"Do you want one Nadya?" Calum asks the toddler warily, they looked expensive and breakable. Bryana might like one though so he motions for Claudia to pick her up and they walk into the store. 

Nadya stays quiet, eyeing the glass and porcelain like she knows she better not touch the shiny objects in front of her. "No," she says finally, laying her head down on Claudia. Calum quickly picks out an egg and pays for it, hoping Bryana would like it. 

They walk down a few more shops, Calum ready to call it a day and return back to the hotel, to Michael when Nadya stops in front of one store, green eyes wide. "That, I want that papa." I stare at the book she's pointing to and he almost laughs. 

"Nadya, that book is in Russian," Calum says blandly, crouching to her level, "You and me don't speak Russian." Nadya shrugs at him and presses up against the glass. Where she got that attitude he could only wonder. "Let's go Nadya." He scoops her up and heading back to buy her a stuffed bear she had her eyes on earlier. 

"There's the birthday girl," Michael croons when they step into the hotel room. Nadya runs to her dad probably ready to try and tell him how her papa didn't get her the book she wanted. 

"And my loving husband," Michael says after he has Nadya in his arms, pressing a kiss to Calum's cheek. "How was the shopping trip?" Michael eyes the bags in Claudia's hands, shaking his head fondly and making Calum giggle. 

"It went good. Nadya wanted a Russian fairytale book," he quips, throwing himself onto the bed. "But unless you read Russian I shot that idea down." Calum rolls over, looking at his family. Michael nods, and sits next to him letting Nadya climb onto Calum's legs. 

Calum tickles her, relenting when Nadya kicks him the stomach. "Nap," she says tiredly, laying down between Calum and Michael. Michael shrugs, laying down too. Calum gives in, curling around his daughter. Tomorrow they would fly out to Vienna, then Rome, and then wherever in the world they would go to next. Having Nadya on tour with them left him exhausted, his daughter curious and loud. She was a handful most of the time, always wanting to be near her dads, bursting in on interviews or running on stage. Calum wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Right now though? He could use a nap.


	10. I'll Leave these Memories Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour comes to a close, and Calum and Michael celebrate their anniversary. Calum says goodbye to the band and the life he's known for the past decade. Nayda's laughter is infectious and Luke and Ashton try their best.

**September. Mumbai, India.**

"Ashton what the hell?" Calum nags, following Ashton through one of the many crowded shops in Mumbai. He was tired, they had literally two hours before they had to be at the airport, and he was running on maybe an hour of sleep thanks to Nadya not being able to adjust to the time change from Johannesburg to India. Calum rubs his eyes trying to keep up with Ashton who was ducking into a store with a fist pump.

Inside the store he watches Ashton look through the brightly colored fabrics, lingering on a gold and turquoise one and plain pink one with white flowers. "You're not buying Bry a _Saree_ " Calum complains, leaning against a wooden shelf filled with more brightly colored fabric. "I forbid it."

Ashton makes a face at him, settling on the turquoise and gold. "It's not for Bryana, its for Nadya." Calum rolls his eyes and walks out the store, leaving Ashton to buy the fabric at his own caution. What the hell was he thinking? Nadya didn't need anymore clothes, half of Michael's suitcases were filled with Nadya's clothes. Calum keeps walking, already planning on what to do with the _saree_ he knows Ashton just has to buy. He decides on waiting until they're back home to give Nadya the _saree_. Just in case, he warns himself.

*

**Tokyo, Japan. Two and half weeks later.**

Calum was having a stressful day. One of the two days they had off in Japan and everything was going to shit, starting with not sleeping at all last night. He blames Luke feeding Nadya sweets late at night, which caused the toddler to have nightmares throughout the night. Now she was fighting Calum on putting on clothes, Michael was still in the shower and Calum's headache was quickly turning into a full on migraine.

"Nadya, you need to put on clothes," he says sternly, watching his two year old run around the hotel room in just socks and a diaper.

"Nope," she squeals, ducking out of reach of Calum's hands. He wanted to fucking scream, Claudia had left, using the excuse to see her son who lived over here to not stick around. Calum goes to the bathroom door, knocking on it loudly.

"Michael get out here, your daughter is being difficult," he grits out, only to get Michael singing loudly "Hell no!" He faces Nadya, who's now sitting on the bed playing with Calum's phone. A plan starts forming in Calum's head, the idea sounding better the more he thinks about it. He gathers a few of Nadya's toys, and grabs a knit dress he vaguely remembers buying in Germany.

"Nadya, darling," he says sweetly, waiting for the toddler to look at him. She hold up a hand, finishing whatever game she was playing on the phone. Calum wonders where she got all that sass, pointedly kicking the bathroom door and earning Michael's, "Give me one damn minute Hood." That's where she got it from.

"Hmm?" she hums, raising her eyes to meet Calum's. She was a smart little girl, always knowing when something was about her. 

"You want to have an adventure day with your uncles?" Calum asks slowly, approaching her. Nadya claps and nods her head, tossing Calum's phone to the floor. Ouch. "Okay, lets get ready!" Calum says excitedly and it goes so much smoother getting Nadya ready. She lets Calum slip on the dress and sneakers, even letting Calum brush up her hair into a bun instead of fighting on having it loose like always.

Michael comes out snickering  a minute later just as Calum is stuffing (healthy) snacks into Nadya's backpack, and an extra change of clothes. "See you did just fine," Michael smiles, kissing Calum's forehead. Calum leans into the touch automatically, feeling more at ease by the minute. "Happy anniversary, Callie." 

"Happy anniversary," Calum mumbles, kissing Michael properly.

"Come one Nadya," Michael chirps, taking the bag from Calum and grabbing Nayda's hand. "Lets go bother Uncle Ash and Uncle Luke."

"'Kay," Nadya chirps, barreling out the hotel room.

-

Two hours later they're strolling down Tokyo's city center, Calum's headache long since gone thanks to Michael's mouth. They visit old stores they remember from the past, munching on Mochi as they duck into a cat cafe. They sit there, Calum staying far away enough from the cats so his allergies don't act up, Michael playing with a calico.

"Makes me miss Wilson," Michael calls out, sighing. Calum nods, missing Duchess as well. He wonders how Ashley is holding up with pet sitting. He hadn't talked to her since they were in Paris.

"We'll see them soon," Calum says softly, eyeing an orange cat that looks like it might make a move for Calum's shoes.   
  
  


They continue on, walking close to each other and ducking into shops. Calum relaxes, this was a much better way to spend their fourth anniversary than going to a fancy restaurant. "Calum open," Michael demands and Calum opens his mouth taking a bite of whatever Michael bought.

"What is that?" Calum asks, swallowing the sticky substance.

" _Manju_ ," Michael shrugs, popping another into his mouth. Michael's basic Japanese gets them around and out of trouble, the blond continually making Calum try food blindly. He decides he likes _Daifuku_ , _Higashi_ (Michael buys two boxes of the candy to Calum's protestations.), _Mochi_ ice cream (of course), and _Kinkan no Kanroni_ (to Michael's dismay).

"You actually liked it?" Michael asks flustered as they leave a toy shop, a plush toy for Nadya in the bag. Calum lets out a laugh, nodding.

"I like sour stuff, I can't believe you didn't like it."

"No thank you, not eating that again," Michael mutters, downing half a bottle of water. "So Ashton and Luke have said they'll take care of Nadya for a full twenty four hours."

"Oh really?" Calum quips, a familiar tingle spreading through out his body.

"I intend to use most of that time being naked," Michael winks at Calum, earning another round of laughs. "But lets head back to the hotel, change into something nicer and have dinner?"

"Did you plan something Mike?" Calum whispers as they head back to the car park where they had left their rented car.

"Maybe," is the only answer Michael gives for the rest of the ride to the hotel, deflecting Calum's questions by rubbing circles on the inside of Calum's thigh. He keeps his mouth firmly shut as Michael smirks.

-

" _Sukiyabashi Jiro_ ," Calum reads the sign on the door to the basement level restaurant. This looked like a place Jessie would come to. He squeezes Michael's hand quickly, shooting him a look.

"Don't knock it until you try it," is all Michael says, pushing the door open and leading the two of them into the place. Its decorated simple, only a handful of tables around a wooden counter. "You like sushi anyways." Michael has a point at that, letting his husband shoo him into a seat. The chef comes out, speaking in a rush of Japanese that doesn't make any sense to Calum. Michael seems to get it, answering back, " _Arigoto gozaimasu_."

The chef retreats again coming back out with a slender pitcher and two cups. Quietly he sets it down and turns to start preparing dinner. Calum watches Michael pour _sake_ into a cup, pressing it into Calum's hands and motioning him to do the same. Calum is quick to react and pours Michael's drink, the two of them clinking their glasses together softly in a toast.

"To four years of marriage," Michael says quietly, taking a sip.

"And many more," Calum replies back, knocking back his drink. Michael rolls his eyes and refills the cup. They sit in comfortable silence watching the chef prepare the sushi and sashimi with expert hands, sipping on sake peacefully.   
  
  


"Here," Michael murmurs, long after the chef has left them with their food. Michael picks up a piece of sushi pointing it at Calum. Calum does the same, only with a piece of sashimi he doesn't want to eat. "Try this one, you'll like it better," Michael says gently and Calum lets Michael place the piece in his mouth, the flavors exploding on his tongue. Calum feeds Michael the sashimi, giggling when Michael's expression turns sour.

"Why are you trying to poison me, Callie?" Michael says after he's managed to sallow down the raw fish and take a long drink of _sake_.

Calum manages a graceful shrug, quickly pressing his lips to Michael's. "Come on lets get out of here," he says huskily, letting his hand trail up Michael's thigh.

"Okay," Michael breathes out. Ten minutes later they barrel into their private car, raising the partition, kissing each other hungrily. Calum can't seem to get any closer than he is to Michael, scooting onto his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck.

-

"I love you," Calum whispers as they fall into bed, Michael kissing down Calum's body.

"I love you," Michael murmurs back, lingering to kiss Calum's throat. Calum lets out a moan, arching his back to get closer. He can't get close enough, it'll never be enough for Calum. He doesn't think marriage changed anything between them, doesn't think time will dull this passion they seem to share. As Michael heads lower and Calum tangles his fingers in blond hair he thinks no matter how many years pass and how many kids they have, it won't change them. Calum can't get enough of Michael, won't ever get enough. Too greedy for Michael's kisses and caresses, too hopelessly in love with his best friend.

*

**October. Sydney, Australia**.

"I have fucked up... again," Luke groans, throwing himself onto the couch next to Calum.

"Language," Calum says, watching Nadya play with her toys in front of them. "You seem to be doing that a lot lately," he deadpans, leveling Luke with a glare. Luke casually flips him off, digging his toes into Calum's thighs.

"I'm serious Calum," Luke whines, looking embarrassed.

Calum turns his attention to Luke, "What did you do this time Luke?"

Luke takes a deep breath, mumbling, "Me and Jessie might've gotten drunk and we might've slept together in Melbourne."

"Fucks sake Luke," Calum hisses, staring up at the ceiling. He glances around the living room the beach house seeming so much smaller than he remembers. The paint looks duller, the furniture a little worn on certain places. It was much cozier, though, then Luke and Jessie's home and his own. "Have you and Jessie talked about it?" he asks, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He didn't approve of the little games they were playing with each other and didn't want to be dragged into the middle of another fight.

"No," Luke says quietly, "She's avoiding the topic, I thought maybe you could talk to her?" Calum considers Luke's request, watching Nadya dance along to the princess cartoon on the t.v. He hasn't really talked to Jessie since they arrived back in Sydney, only made sure she was standing on her own and not taking shit from anyone. Their conversation had been brief, cut short by Nadya throwing a tantrum and everyone else filing into the kitchen.

Oh how he would like to go and talk to Jessie again and have a proper heart to heart with her, they were still friends. Yet Calum holds back, as much as he wanted to seek out his friend again he didn't want to do it if it meant meddling again. He wasn't putting that stress on himself or Michael. He lets out a long sigh, smiling when Nadya runs towards him and jumps into his lap. "I'm sorry Luke, I can't. Not this time," he says to Luke, ruffling the younger guy's hair.

"Color?" Nayda chirps up, shoving a marker at Luke. Luke blinks down at her for a second, his features changing from bitterness to joy.

"Yeah we can color," Luke says smiling and taking the marker from Calum's daughter. Calum relaxes, joining in on the fun as well and picking up a blue marker. Nadya hums while they all color, drawing wide circles while Calum and Luke try to color in the lines. In the end they come out with a very colorful and geometric garden fairy scene.

-

A week later Calum and Michael head out to the beach, Nadya between them in a bright yellow sundress and curly hair flying out behind her. It's warm enough that they don't need sweaters, but still too cool for her to swim in the water. "For as long as we've been in California, we've never been to the beach," Michael says abruptly as they settle a few feet from the water. Calum recognizes the spot, its the place him and Jessie would sneak off to think and be sucked into thought. The beach house only a short walk from them.

"Because we're never in L.A long enough," Calum sighs, putting sunblock on Nadya.

"No!" the toddler squeals, wiggling her way out of Calum's arms.

"Nadya," Michael scolds, grabbing her hand. "Let papa put sunblock on." Nadya gives them both long looks before deciding it wasn't worth throwing a fit over, she puts out her arms and Calum resumes putting sunblock on her. "She gets that attitude from you," Michael laughs, unpacking some of the fruit Calum had insisted on bringing.

It's Calum's turn to laugh, catching his husband in his arms. "I beg to differ," he whispers, pressing a kiss to Michael's cheek. Michael shakes his head muttering curses at Calum under his breath.

They spend the afternoon building sandcastles and dipping their feet in the water, showing Nadya shellfish and crabs. Nadya is immediately captivated by the sea urchins, giggling and squealing each time Michael makes a show of handing one over to her. Calum can't stop smiling, as he drags his shirt over his head and sits in the water, watching Nadya begin to speak too fast that she breaks off in a string of unintelligible words. Nayda eyes Calum for a long minute before copying him and sitting in the water.

"Calum really?" Michael whines, sitting in the water himself and pulling Nadya in his lap. "Mum gave her that dress."

"Oh well?" Calum shrugs, the dress can be cleaned. Michael sighs, but otherwise doesn't complain anymore as Nadya points to something in the water and babbles off again. Calum tilts his head up, soaking in the rays of the sun, oh how he had missed Sydney.   
  
-

That night as they get ready for bed, Calum pulls Michael into a tight hug feeling emotional. "Ready to start the last leg of the tour?" He says softly, clutching at the fabric around Michael's middle. He can feel Michael rest his head on his shoulder, nodding.

"In a way, yes," Michael replies, kissing Calum's cheekbone. "It's been one hell of a tour."

"Agreed," Calum mutters, pulling away from Michael only to kiss him firmly on the mouth. "I don't know what I've done without you," he mumbles against Michael's lips moving to get into bed. Michael follows a moment later, pulling the comforter over them both.

"You'd a been a footie star," Michael grumbles fondly, wrapping an arm around Calum's middle. "I couldn't have pulled off this band without you, you know Luke would've killed me and Ashton." Calum lets out a quiet laugh, pulling Michael close.

"Who knows what would've happened," he says flicking off the bedside lamp. Here in the beach house, every memory weighs a little heavier, where so many fond and bad ones were made. "Still would've married you," Calum yawns, cuddling closer to Michael.

"Damn right," Michael mumbles as the two of them drift off to sleep.

*

**Perth.**

The cheers reach Calum's ears as the band waits for their cues to go on. He can feel the chants and screams deep in his chest, making him shake his body in excitement. Ashton is next to him twirling his drumsticks between his fingers and over his wrists, banging his head slightly to a beat only he can hear. Luke is at the edge of the wing, ready to bolt on stage as soon as the tour manager gives to go ahead. His guitar hangs around his slim frame, Luke's fingers cradling the neck.

Calum hops from foot to foot, bounding over to where Michael is antsy as well, fixing the cap on his head for the hundredth time. Calum pulls him into a kiss, smiling against Michael. "Don't be nervous."

Michael snorts, slinging his own guitar around him. "Lets go Hood." The manager gives the single and Luke is running out on stage, Ashton close on his heels. Michael and Calum wait a minute, waiting for Ashton's drums to ring out.

Michael hurries out on stage ahead of him, a riff peeling into the air. Calum hesitates a moment, not sure if he's ready to close this chapter of his life yet. He closes his eyes, feeling Ashton's drums kick in his chest, Michael's guitar hits him in his soul, and Luke's own chords make up his mind. He rushes out on stage, fingers flying over his bass as he plays the closing. He'll never get tired of performing but it was time to close this chapter.

"Perth! Are you ready to rock one last time?" Calum yells into the mic, glancing over at the crowd. He smiles wide, feeling at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much to add here except there's five more chapters :)   
> Just a bit of a reminder, i try to write my characters as human as possible, so if they mess up (like ashton's case in India) its probably because I wrote it that way. BUT if I really done and fucked up please let me know so I can edit. I know I've been writing a lot of different places and cultures and I'd hate if I got something really really wrong. (i do research but somethings can slip by me)


	11. Catching Snowflakes on Our Tongues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With tour over Calum gets to focus on his family full time. The winter months bring serious talks about the future and the holidays are celebrated warmly.

**November. L.A**

The night the Hood family gets in from Sydney, they all crash out in the living room. Luggage scatters the floor, shoes tossed against walls, and shades lazily thrown on coffee tables. The three of them somehow wedge together on the couch, Calum draping a thick blanket over them. They all sleep through the night and next day.

"I never want to travel again," Michael mumbles the next afternoon, firmly planted still on the couch, face down on a pillow. Nadya sits on the floor, shaking the contents out of her backpack. Calum had been dragged away from precious sleep thanks to his stomach. After he had raided the fridge and pantries he was placing a welcoming pizza order.

"Me neither," Calum agrees, adding in wings from a joint he liked. "Can we actually stay in home for like a solid year?" Calum eyes the takeout menus in front of him, a stash him and Michael had cultivated over the months, and decides on adding in Chinese. Michael grunts in agreement, most likely dozing back off to sleep.   
  
  


 

"Mikey," Calum calls, balancing the boxes of takeout carefully, "Pizza!"

"Pizza!" Michael half sings, dragging himself off the couch. Calum sets the food on the counter, pulling out plates and cups. "Were you just, I don't know, craving everything Calum?" Michael eyes the boxes of pizza and containers of Chinese takeout and wings, putting a drowsy Nadya in her high chair.

"Shut up, I'm hungry," Calum grumbles, scooping out sesame chicken alongside a slice of pizza.

"Gross," Michael mutters, but does the same.

"Here Nadya," Calum says gently, cutting up a slice of pizza into bite size bites. "Pizza, important part of the food pyramid." Michael laughs, resting his head on Calum's hip. Calum rolls his eyes, gently moving Michael's head and sitting down next to him. They eat in silence, shaking off their jet lag. Nadya actually eats the pizza, carefully putting piece after piece into her mouth and managing to get her top full of sauce.

The two of them polish off the wings and most of the Chinese, leaving two boxes of pizza for the next several days. "I'm not cooking until that pizza is gone," Calum mumbles, feeling extremely sleepy all over again. He feels like he could sleep another twenty hours, Michael nods off next to him, face in his hands. Even Nadya is dropping off, her eyes drooping.   
  


-  
  


At three in the morning all three of them are wide awake, watching Disney movies. Nadya sings her own words to the songs (were they watching The Little Mermaid or Frozen? It was starting to all look the same to Calum) Michael nibbling on cold pizza while Calum drank lukewarm tea. This was not how you dealt with jet lag, Calum thinks, even as he feels more relaxed. It was going to be hell to get Nadya back on a decent sleep schedule, even worse for him and Michael.

"Papa! Dance wit me," Nadya shrieks, tugging on Calum's hand.

"LETS dance," Calum sings, twirling his daughter around. He catches Michael filming him, a smile on his face. "Join us Mikey!" He calls out, reaching for him.

Michael joins them, lacing his fingers with Calum and spinning in a circle. All of them laugh as they finish the song, sitting down on the floor. Nadya rest her head on Michael's lap, dark hair covering her face. They finish watching the movie, and several others, as the sun rises and Calum is pretty sure somewhere during their marathon they saw Frozen one too many times. He shuts off the t.v, leaving the room in a soft quiet, morning light streaming through the windows.

"What a way to end tour," Michael mumbles, picking up Nadya. "hey, sweetheart we need to give you a bath." They both stand, Calum's back popping with the movement. Calum follows Michael up the stairs to Nadya's bathroom, drawing a bath.

"I'm going on a run," Calum yawns, leaning against the doorframe. "Time to get rid of this jet lag."

"Have fun," Michael calls. Calum turns on his heels and jogs back down to where their luggage is strewed all over the floor. He digs out clothes and his sneakers, and heads out for a run.

-

Three days later Ashley comes over with Wilson and Duchess. Michael lets in their friend while Calum makes dinner. Yes he had finally dragged himself to the grocery store and bought actual food so they wouldn't live off leftover pizza. He watches his pets run around around the house fondly, alarmed at how big Duchess was already. She even had her spots in, a big black spot covering one eye like a mask.

"Hey you," Ashley greets, Nadya on her back. "What you cooking?" Michael trails in last, Wilson in his arms.

Calum nods, dumping pasta into a pot. "Michael, Wilson isn't allowed in the kitchen," he glances at his husband beginning to sit at the breakfast bar. Michael huffs and lets Wilson go, the cat running off to destroy their furniture again. "I'm making something with with pasta."

Ashley laughs, putting Nadya down in favor of helping Calum. "When did you learn how to cook? Last time I was with you guys, you couldn't make decent toast." Calum laughs loudly, shaking his head.

"Married life, that's what happened," Calum shrugs, tasting the sauce he was stirring.

"It was either that or starve," Michael jokes, setting the table. Calum looked forward to many nights like this, cooking for his family and having time off. For the first time he was glad to be done with touring, he saw the world it was time to take a breather. He leans against the counter, a smile on his face and he's pretty sure his eyes are sparkling but he loves the scene in front of him; Michael hoisting Nadya in her high chair while Ashley uncorks a bottle of wine she had brought, Michael catches his eye winking at him. He giggles and turns off the stove, bringing the food over to the table.

"So tell me all about the tour," Ashley says halfway through their meal, Nadya slurping noodles loudly.

"Well..." Calum begins, reaching for Michael's hand.

"Well," Michael continues, "It sure was an adventure..."

*

**December.**

Calum stares at the phone long after his mother had hung up, unsure what to do. Scotland, his family was going to Scotland for Christmas and his mum had invited him and Michael along. It was open invitation she had made that clear, they didn't have to go if they didn't want to. Calum very much wanted to stay home and do absolutely nothing this Christmas. Ashton and Bryana were going to Miami which meant Luke and Jessie would be doing something else, which meant no Christmas in Sydney this year... again.

Yet, Scotland. Calum had half a heart to go and visit family he never really got to see anymore. Mali-koa would be going, his mother had confirmed that. It would be almost a family reunion, Calum bites his lip pocketing the phone. He can hear Michael try to read Nadya a story, their daughter talking over him to point out something. He really didn't want to mess up Nadya's sleep schedule again. Calum had said he didn't want to travel again, but a Christmas with snow was sounding ideal more by the minute.

He walks into the living, tripping over Wilson. "Mikey?"

"Yeah babe?" Michael looks up to him, handing the book over to Nadya.

"Mum invited us to Scotland for Christmas," He starts, sitting on the floor. "And I'm game for it, if you want to go that is." He watches Michael who lowers his eyes, thinking this over. Calum holds his breath, half of him hoping Michael will say no and they can hole up here for Christmas and the other half wishing he would say yes.

"Can we come back for New Years?" Michael says at last, looking up at Calum. "Two whole weeks with your family will be the end of me," Michael laughs at the end, letting Calum know he wasn't all that serious.

"So we're going to Scotland?" Calum asks, making sure Michael wasn't joking in earnest.

"Yes Calum, we're going to Scotland," Michael says in mock annoyance, eyes dancing with humor. He would have to get back at him later that night.

*

**Scotland.**

Calum was feeling left out. Understandably too, all his family wanted to do was spend time with Nadya, cooing over the little girl and whisking her off in some relatives arms. His own mother was currently sat with Nadya helping her put together a children's puzzle. So he kicked his legs up on his uncles coffee table and took a long sip of the beer Michael had pressed into his had an hour ago.

"Little brother, don't pout," Mali-koa chirps squeezing herself into the recliner Calum was taking up. "You'll have your daughter back in your arms soon enough." Calum smiles. resting his head on Mali's shoulder. She had cut her long hair, right above her shoulders, the platinum locks tickling his nose.

"I know," Calum sighs, "But everyone is conveniently forgetting me."

"Not everything is about you," Mali jokes, patting his arm. "Ready to give up the rock star life for PTA meetings?"

Calum laughs, nudging his sister. "Hell yeah, I make the best cookies. You ready to go on tour?" It was Mali's turn to taste a bit of the rock star life, finally going on a tour outside of Europe.

Mali-koa nods, keeping her eyes on Nadya. "Yeah, I am." She bites her lip, glancing down at her lap. "Cal, do you think mum and dad are proud of us?"

Calum sits up straighter, worried. "What brings this on? I'm sure mum and dad are extremely proud of us."

Mali shrugs before answering, "Nothing, its just I heard some cousins of ours talking about how stressful it must be for our parents having both of us in the music industry since nothing is ever certain," she breaks off in a laugh, shaking her head. "I don't know, it never occurred to me that maybe our parents wanted us to do something... not this." She waves her hands around, trying to convey what their lives and careers were. Calum thinks for a moment, unsure how to swallow that news. It had never occurred to him either that maybe his parents had thought one of them to be a doctor or a lawyer, not have both of them be musicians.

He grips Mali's hand, nodding. "It never occurred to us because our parents let us chase our dreams, and I think they knew we'd be successful in whatever we did." To Calum that was the truth, as long as him and Mali were happy in what they decided to do his mum and dad were too. "I think they are very proud of us."

"Mum is especially proud of you too, giving her her first grandchild and all," Mali jokes, ever the one to lighten up the situation. Calum rolls his eyes and watches as Michael attempts to take Nadya out of his mothers lap.

"So what did you get me for Christmas?" Mali asks slyly, punching Calum on the shoulder. Calum shoves her back, making her slide off the recliner. She hits the ground with a yelp, one hand clutching to the arm of the recliner.

"Not gunna tell you," he quips, standing to join Michael.

"Mum!" Mali-koa calls, struggling to stand herself. "Did you see what Calum did?" His mother gives both of them mock glares, shaking her head at the two of them. Calum laughs again, making his way to his husband and daughter. He was full of laughter tonight and fully intended to spread the good vibes with everyone else.

-

**Christmas day.**

"Calum look! Snow," Michael calls excitedly, pushing the window curtains apart and letting the sun come in at full brightness. Calum squints against the harsh light, groaning. Michael shakes him, rousing Calum out of any chance of falling back to sleep.

He gets out of bed and joins Michael by the window. He hasn't seen this much snow for a while, the entire neighborhood is covered in the white powder, a few kids already out and throwing snowballs. He remembers the first time he came across snow in London, totally in awe of the stuff. He wraps an arm around Michael's waist, burying his head into the blond's shoulder. "Merry Christmas Mikey."

"Merry Christmas Callie," Michael responds, kissing the top of Calum's head.

"Da? Papa?" the two of them turn around to see Nadya trying to climb out of her crib, tiny feet digging into the railing. Michael is quick to rush over and help her maneuver herself down, guiding the toddler to the window.

"Look Nadya, snow," Michael says gently, pointing to the window. Nadya presses her face up against the windowpane, eyes wide as she takes in the scene.

"Snow," she says carefully, repeating the word a few more times. Calum smiles down at her, ruffling her hair. Michael does the same, smiling at Calum. Calum can feel his heart swell with love and pride, there was nothing in the world he trade for these small moments.

"Merry Christmas," He whispers again, hoisting Nadya in his arms.

-

"Mum, you spoil her," Calum complained halfheartedly, watching Nadya sort through the pile of presents she had received that morning. Mali sat next to her, opening a few of the toys and sorting out the clothes various family members had given his daughter. Michael snorts next to him, inhaling another cup of tea.

"Hush Calum," Joy chides, sipping at her tea. "She's precious and deserves the world." Calum had to agree there, he wanted nothing but the best for his daughter. Michael nods, leaning his head on Calum's shoulder. Calum wasn't really sure when his husband had even joined in on this conversation. "And she's my granddaughter, I'll spoil her accordingly." Joy gives him a long look, testing to see if Calum will sass back.

"Fine!" Calum relents, digging a fork into a yule log cake someone had brought over.

"You two planning on adopting more?" his mother asks cautiously, looking at both of them. Calum can feel his cheeks heat up, a stronger blush forming on Michael's cheeks. They haven't really talked about it, haven't discussed having more children. Gosh they just got Nadya, Calum thinks, shouldn't they wait a little longer to have this conversation.

Michael glances at Calum, lacing their fingers together. "We really haven't talked about it, honestly."

Joy seems content with that answer, nodding and moving to leave the kitchen. "You two are still young, no rush. I promise you that, I'll go bother Mali-koa now."  Calum and Michael share a long look with each other, Michael smirking at Calum. Calum files this conversation away for later, opting instead to wipe frosting onto Michael's cheek.

"Child," Michael grumbles, wiping off the frosting. Calum chuckles lowly, pushing Michael's hair back. Michael leans into him, giving him sticky kisses and wrapping his arms around Calum's neck. Calum deepens the kiss, all too happy to spread the Christmas spirit.

"Get a room you two!" Someone calls out, Calum vaguely thinks it could be his dad, and he pulls away from Michael. Michael huffs, rolling his eyes, and drags Calum back down into another heated kiss.

"Your family will be the end of me," Michael mumbles against Calum's lips, smiling.

-

"Michael? Mali, where are you going with Nadya?" Calum watches as Mali ties a scarf around Nadya, Michael slipping on a thick coat.

Mali throws something at him, hitting him square in the chest. "We're gunna build a snowman, come on."

"Do you want to build a snowman?" Michael sings placing a beanie on Nadya's head.

"Yes!" Nadya squeals, dancing in place. Calum drags himself off the couch, pulling on the jacket Mali had thrown at him. He quickly dresses for the snow, checking over Nadya to make sure she was warmly dressed. Mali smiles at him, snapping pictures and recording Michael and Nadya stepping out into the snow.

"Papa, cold!" Nadya trills as some stray snow hits her cheek. Calum nods solemnly, wiping it off.

"Very cold," he says, laughing as Mali-koa and Michael try to create a snowman. "Watch Nadya, make a ball with the snow." He scoops up some of the white powder, Nadya copying him, and molding it into a ball.

He motions for Nadya to keep quiet and together they sneak up on Mali and Michael. "Throw it at Aunt Mali, okay?" Calum whispers, Mali not so subtly pretending she doesn't see the toddler walk up to her. Nadya throws the snowball, giggling, hitting Mali on her knee. Calum throws his own, pelting Michael in back.

Mali falls to the ground dramatically, giggling as Nadya tosses more messily made snowballs at her. "Okay, okay," Mali gasps out, clutching her side. "You got me." Calum laughs, helping his sister up. As he turns around Michael throws one at him, hitting him the neck.

"You're gunna get it Michael," Calum yells as snow trickles down his shirt, making him shiver.

"Come get me Hood!" Michael yells back, throwing more snowballs at him.   
  
  


Later on when they finally head back inside, toes and fingers cold from the snowball fight, Joy casually sets out three mugs of hot chocolate giving them stern looks. Calum hides his grin behind Michael, Nadya dozing off in his arms. He doesn't think he's been this relaxed in a long time. They all settle in the couches and sofas, drinking hot chocolate and burrowing into blankets.

*

**L.A. New Years Eve.**

Calum watches the New Years countdown from the kitchen, munching on carrot sticks he fully intended on giving to Nadya. They had been invited to many new years parties, several that included a red carpet, but Michael had complained about dressing up and babysitters and if Calum was being completely honest with himself he enjoyed staying in as well. Dressed in sweats and a jumper he thinks might've been Mali's from a few years ago, he would take these nights in over being stuffed into a suit.

Michael walks into the kitchen dressed similar, a now empty bowl of popcorn in his hands. "So about what your mother said during Christmas," Michael begins, going for chips this time to fill the bowl.

"Do we have to have this conversation tonight?" Calum weakly protests, dipping a carrot into ranch. He knows it's useless, once Michael had his mind set on a topic he wasn't about to drop it.

"Yes now hush," Michael glances at Nadya in the living room, coloring. "Do we want more kids?" Calum pauses mid bite, staring at the marble counter.

"Yes?" He says carefully, watching Michael light up.

"Oh good, I thought you didn't want anymore," Michael says in a rush carrying on with the conversation. "I don't know about you, but did you just want to adopt? Or I mean there's surrogates and a whole bunch of different options, I'm open to anything," he trails off, shooting a worried look at an amused looking Calum. "Talk to me babe."

Calum had been looking into surrogates, never sure how to bring up that particular topic to Michael. He lets Michael worry a few seconds longer, slowly chewing on his carrot stick. Michael didn't need to know just yet how much Calum wanted Michael's kids. He smiles at his husband, "The question is are ready for another kid Mikey?" Michael ponders the question, stealing a carrot from Calum and sticking it between his lips like a cigarette.

"It wouldn't hurt to start looking into it," Michael says at last, "It'll happen when it happens."

They still had a few more meeting with the couples therapist, at Michael's insistence they had been going whenever they could, more for the sake of having a quiet place to talk over feeling then for actual therapy. They could talk about this is greater detail then. "I... if you want to that is Michael, I was thinking maybe we could look into surrogates?" Calum doesn't know why he is suddenly shy, this was Michael. His long time best friend, partner, and husband. Michael's eyes widen, and he leans across the counter to look at Calum better.

"Really?" Michael breathes out. Calum nods, a whirlwind already forming inside of him. So they were really going to do this.

"But I want the next one to be yours," Calum says quietly, rearranging the carrot sticks on a plate for Nadya. He doesn't give Michael the chance to answer, his mind was made up on this subject, and walks out of the kitchen with the snack.   
  
  
  
  
  


Nadya falls asleep around nine thirty, the stubborn little girl fighting sleep until she had closed her eyes. Calum had taken her back up to her room, leaving Wilson curled up on the rocking chair to watch after her.

It was now nearing midnight, and after face-timing Luke and Jessie, they were both pressed up against each other making out like they were eighteen all over again. The thought makes Calum giggle, pulling away from Michael to rest his head against Michael's shoulder.

"Whats so funny baby?" Michael asks warmly, voice low and rough. It's enough to send Calum into another round of giggles for whatever reason, gasping air against Michael's neck.

He shakes his head, "Nothing, just the thought of us making out like teenagers again is funny," Michael barks out a laugh, and Calum is laughing in earnest now.

"Only you would think of something like while I'm trying to get you off," Michael mumbles, Calum curling into Michael's arms. Calum shrugs, watching the countdown with more attention. He's alarmed by the time, they had only a few minutes before the new year was ushered in.

"What do you think the new year will bring?" he finds himself asking, kissing Michael's hand.

"Hopefully some fucking peace and quiet," Michael complains, "No but really, some downtime. Let Nadya grow up away from the spotlight." Calum has to agree there, Nadya and any of their future kids deserved to not be under the limelight harsh glare. They turn their attention back to the t.v where a new up and coming singer is excitedly starting the countdown. Calum wishes her the best, feeling nostalgic. He shifts around, getting comfortable between Michael's legs, silently counting down.

"Remember when we were that excited?" Michael asks quietly, Calum nods watching the numbers hit thirty seconds. Now Calum was happy to be at home, away from the cameras and scrutiny for the foreseeable future. Who was the lucky one now? He wonders, the young starlet who's dreams were taking off or him? Whose dreams had already came true.

The clock hit zero and the new year is rung in without much fanfare in the Hood residence. Calum tips his head back, meeting Michael for a sweet kiss. "Happy New Years," he says gently, cupping his husbands cheek in his hand.

"Happy New Years," Michael murmurs, changing the station. Calum yawns, thinking maybe he was the lucky one in the end.


	12. Magical Moments Happen Everyday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its the little things that create fond memories. Slice of life moments in the Hood household.

**March**

"Michael," Calum moans, gripping the washing machine tighter. He feels, rather than sees, Michael kiss his back humming. To Calum's amusement he was surprised his husband was being quiet, Michael's hand slowly making him come undone.

"What Calum?" Michael whispers into Calum's ear, biting down gently on the soft skin. Calum moans again, as Michael strokes him quicker. Calum wonders when his life became this, sneaking around in the goddamn laundry room to have sex.

"Faster, please," he begs, Michael's thrusting picks up speed, hands moving to Calum's hips. As much as Calum was enjoying this, he had also put dinner in the oven that will probably be ready in like five minutes and if Nadya decided she was bored...

"Oh god," Calum moans out, Michael hitting his prostate repeatedly, he bites down on his lip swallowing down any other screams he might let out. Michael laughs quietly against his shoulder, sucking a mark.

"Shh," He whispers, his thrusts becoming erratic as they both reach the edge. "You're doing great Calum." Calum smirks, leaning back into Michael. His husbands gasps, stilling as Calum makes him come. To Calum's own pleasure, Michael continues stroking Calum making him come in Michael's hand seconds later.

They both slump against the washing machine, catching their breaths and coming down from their high. Calum feels languid, too languid for six in the afternoon, pressing a lazy kiss to Michael's lips. Michael laughs softly just as the kitchen timer goes off and Calum doesn't make a move to get off the floor.

"Daddy? Papa?" Nadya calls, probably annoyed at the beeping in the kitchen. Calum chuckles, swatting at Michael.

"Go, I can't move," He whispers, closing his eyes. He can hear Michael stand and clean up quickly, throwing a dirty towel at Calum's head. Calum smiles, hearing the laundry room door open and close, Michael's voice ringing out a second later. If this was what marrying your best friend was like, Calum was fucking glad he did it.   
  
  


A few nights later Nadya barges into the office, startling Calum and Michael. Lucky for the two of them Michael was just sitting in Calum's lap, grinding against him but that wasn't important. She's wide eyed and shaking, and Calum is shoving Michael off his lap and kneeling in front of his daughter. "Nadya whats the matter?" He tries to ask calmly, worried about everything.

"Spider," she yelps, pointing in the direction of her room. Michael sits back in the office chair, shaking his head

"I don't do spiders Callie," he says, shaking his head again. Calum lets out a sigh, and grabs a magazine off the desk. He hoists Nadya up, the toddler quickly wrapping her legs around Calum.

"Is it a big spider Nadya?" Calum asks, heading into the room. Calum doesn't think the spider could be as big as the one's in Sydney, but he didn't like anything that scared her.

She nods, "Big spider, papa." Calum glances around the room, finding the spider on the bed's railing. It is pretty big, Calum decides, putting Nadya in the rocking chair. He quickly squashes it, making a big show of tossing it in the bin. Nadya smiles wide, running up to hug his legs. She's growing like a weed, becoming taller each time Calum blinks. Currently she's starting to reach his thighs, out growing most of the clothes they had bought her. He smiles down at her, happy that something so simple can bring her joy.   
  
  


"Calum," Michael sings on night, walking into the office.

"Michael," Calum sings back, looking up from the computer screen. Michael plops himself down in Calum's lap, drawing him into kiss. Calum happily obliges, opening his mouth for Michael.

"What are you doing?" Michael asks after he's gotten his full, staring bleakly at the computer screen. "Nadya's asleep, let's go to bed."

"Writing the bands tell-all book," Calum jokes, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist.

"What are you really writing," Michael tries again, absent mindlessly playing with Calum's shirt. Calum closes the tab, pressing a kiss to Michael's neck.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Calum quips, massaging his fingers into Michael's thighs. Michael hums, shifting the two around. Calum keeps Michael occupied, kissing him lazily while he undoes Michael's belt.

Minutes later Calum is on his knees, dragging Michael's pants and underwear along. "Sneaky bastard," Michael groans, tangling his fingers in Calum's hair. Calum laughs, kissing the inside of Michael's thigh. He sneaks a glance through his eyelashes, pleased to see Michael already flushed. He takes Michael into his mouth, already looking forward to round two in their bedroom.

*

**June**

One day in June Michael tosses three tickets to Disneyland and a pamphlet to a ballet studio and hops onto the counter, biting into an apple. Calum blinks at the papers, sipping his cup of coffee.

"What is this?" he asks, leafing through the passes and tickets, stopping to read the ballet pamphlet.

"I got us tickets to go to Disneyland," Michael shrugs, watching Nadya twirl around the living room. "And I figured Nadya like's to dance why not put her in a dance class."

Calum nods thoughtfully, "Is she old enough to be in a dance class?" Michael nods, tapping the paper where it says there's a special class for two to four year old. Gosh Nadya was turning three in a few months, Calum felt nauseous.

"She can start after we go to Disneyland," Michael says, tossing the apple into the trash.

Calum sighs, looking over at his husband. "When exactly are we going to Disneyland?"

"This weekend."

-

"Papa look! Ariel!" Nadya tugs on Calum's hand, excitedly pointing to the young woman. Michael smiles widely, Micky Mouse ears sliding down his head. "Daddy, look, look!" Calum smiles as well, scooting Nadya foreword towards 'Ariel'. She doesn't need another push, skipping towards her favorite Disney princess. The princess is all to happy to take a picture with Nadya, and sign the little book Calum's daughter insisted she have.

So far they had been searching out the princesses and other Disney characters, going on the teacups and other small rides. Nadya was wide eyed and quick to laugh, constantly tugging on Calum or Michael's hand whenever she saw something she recognized. So far Nadya had Jasmine, Belle, Peter Pan, and now Ariel. Calum was more in need of a snack break.

"Our daughter looks pretty cute doesn't she?" Michael says, watching as Nadya tells Ariel something. Calum has to agree, Nadya looked pretty adorable in her Little Mermaid costume her hair tied back in a rare urge of her getting frustrated with her curls.

"Yes she does."

"That's your daughter," a young woman interrupts, letting her own child scurry off to Ariel. Calum nods, tensing as the the girl looks between him and Michael. To his surprise the girl smiles calmly, placing a hand over her belly. "She's beautiful, you two must be proud."

"We are, extremely," Calum says and gestures to the Nadya and the kid she's talking to. "Is... he yours?" Calum says, biting his lip as he studies the kid in the Belle costume.

"Yeah, his name is Jasper, totally obsessed with Beauty and the Beast," the girl sticks out her hand, smiling widely, "I''m Hannah." Calum and Michael both shake her hand, the three of them scooting closer to their respective kids.

"Calum, and my husband, Michael," Calum introduces, and Hannah is nodding excitedly.

"I know, me and my sister are fans," Calum blinks, Michael carrying on the conversation.

"How neat, are you expecting again?" He rattles on, falling into conversation with Hannah. Calum thinks she can't be older than them, as he listens. Keeping an eye on Nadya and Jasper, he joins back in the conversation.

"Jasper's five, and this little guy came as a surprise," Hannah is laughing, pointing to her small belly. Calum and Michael congratulate her, Nadya and Jasper running up to them both, trying to talk over each other.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," is the only thing Calum can make sense of, Jasper telling Hannah the same thing.

Hannah laughs, quirking her eyebrows at the two of them. "Want to have lunch then?' Calum nods, excited himself.

-

They leave Disneyland tired down to their bones, Nadya asleep in Michael's arms. She clutches a fairy stuffed toy in her arms, one hand clutching Michael's shirt. Its long past dark and all Calum wants to do is fall into bed. Michael yawns loudly, digging the car keys out of Calum's back pocket.

"You're not driving Mike," Calum tries to protest, letting out a yawn. Michael shakes his head, opening the car with practiced ease.

"You're literally about to fall asleep standing up, at least I'm still functioning," Michael grumbles, strapping Nadya in the car seat. Calum gives in, sliding into the passenger seat and resting his head on the glove compartment. "See," Michael points out as they drive out,

"Shut up," Calum says already falling asleep. It feels whimsical almost, as Calum falls into a light sleep, the light from the street lamps casting a soft glow. He's reminded of a song a can't quite name, something about driving all night on the highway.

*

**August.**

His daughter was three, Calum thinks as he steps down the stairs early in the morning. His daughter was three already, next he would be planning a sweet sixteen not a ballet birthday party. Duchess trots at his side, reminding Calum why he was up this early. "Alright, out you go," he whispers, letting the Dalmatian out into the backyard.

He finds his way to the kitchen, resting his elbows on the counter and gathering his thoughts. Michael was still asleep, Nadya had climbed in the bed alongside him a while ago. He lets out a breath, he couldn't just stand there panicking he had a birthday party to pull off.

He starts pulling down the few cake pans they had bought, moving around the large kitchen to gather other important baking items. He stares hard at the cake book in front of him, rubbing his eyes a few times. Dammit, he couldn't make sense of these things. So he did the only reasonable thing, and after quickly making sure it wasn't two in the morning in Sydney, and called for help.

"Jessie how the hell do you bake a cake?" He hisses into the phone, staring at the various boxes in front of him.

"Calum breathe," Jessie hums, the sound of her cooking herself, coming through the speaker. Calum laughs, and relaxes, listening to Jessie as his friend talks him through the steps of making a birthday cake.

-

That afternoon Calum finds himself hiding out in the kitchen, arranging and rearranging platters of snacks. Calum wasn't sure what it really was, the judgey stares the other parents were giving him, the constant chest pains Nadya was giving him each time she got a little too close to the pool, or the massive headache that was forming from having twelve little girls and boys, and Jasper, running around his house. It was loud, to say the least.

"I come bearing alcohol," Calum turns, finding Hannah holding out a beer for him. He eyes her growing belly concerned. "I'm not the one drinking Calum, Michael sent this over." Hannah laughs, stealing a sugar cookie from one of the platters. What a surprise it had been to find out Hannah was Nadya's ballet teacher. For being L.A it was a small world.

Calum takes the beer graciously, sipping at it. Thank the world for Michael, and Hannah. "So what are you stressing about Calum?" Hannah asks, three older boys running into the kitchen, throwing what looked like a mix of mud and food. Calum physically feels himself flinch.

"Boys," Hannah is quick to chide, shooing them back into the backyard where the party was taking place. "You know better than to disrespect someone else's home." The boys run outside, grumbling. Hannah raises a brow at Calum and he remembers to breathe again. Fucks sake when did he get so uptight?

"Nothing is wrong," Calum mumbles before sighing, "Everything is wrong, thats the problem. Everyone is judging me and it's making me anxious." Hannah sighs and looks out the window like she just might go and drag Michael away from the grill to knock some sense into Calum.

She settles on this, pushing strawberry blonde hair out of her eyes. "Calum, you more than anyone out there, should know how not to give a fuck," Calum laughs, the cuss word sounding wrong on the petite woman. "Forget about what they think about you, as long as Nadya's happy that should be the only thing that matters," she continues gently, staring out to where Jasper and Nayda were playing. Nadya in a black leotard and jean shorts and Jasper in a hot pink tutu with a crown holding back blond hair. Calum looks at the two, understanding what Hannah was getting at.

Hannah probably got a lot of stares directed at her and Jasper. A lot of comments about how she should be raising her child. Yet she handled it all with poise and grace, never once showing how it got to her and putting Jasper first. Calum crosses his arms, watching Nadya place a flower crown on her head. "Parenting is hard, but we do the best we can," Hannah says patting Calum's shoulder. She leaves, taking out two of the trays.   
  
  


"Papa, here," Nadya runs up to Calum, a tutu in her hands. "Put it on." She smiles up at him, scrunching up her nose.

Calum glances at Michael who is also sporting a pink tutu and flower crown. Calum doesn't give it a second though and slips on the tutu, adding in a clumsy twirl. Nadya laughs brightly, executing her own twirl. He can hear Michael laugh, his husband most likely taking a video to send to their friends.

Nadya takes off, running to her friends. Calum makes his way over to Michael, casually wrapping an arm around his waist. "Having fun?" Michael asks, feeding Calum a piece of cake. Calum was proud of it, he hadn't burned the chocolate cake and the peppermint frosting had came out nice and smooth.

"Of course, you?" Michael hums in agreement resting his head on Calum's shoulder. Calum kisses the top of his head quickly, fixing the flower crown.

"You make a cute ballerina," Calum says lightly, earning pinch to his side. Michael giggles, leaning into Calum.

"Damn right."   
  


At the end of the night Calum is carefully wiping glitter off of Nadya and Michael, chiding the two about having glitter wars. He knows he'll have to vacuum the whole house eventually, even he's starting to find glitter on his face and hands.

"Love you papa." Nadya mumbles against his neck as Calum takes Nadya to bed. Calum feels his heart swell, pride and happiness overcoming him. Nadya was his world now and as long as she was happy he was too. 

As he pulls the covers over Nadya Calum hopes that she'll never turn against him. He knows deep in his mind that she'll grow into herself and develop her own ideas and beliefs, but as he traces her cheek he wishes she would stay little just a while longer. Someday she'll be to big to carry, and one day she might not say 'love you', and Calum dreaded those moments. 

"Calum come to bed," Michael calls carefully, wrapping an arm around Calum's waist. Pressing a kiss to Nadya's forehead the couple leaves Nadya's room, leaving the door open a crack. Time was moving too fast for Calum's liking but he'll just have to take it one day at a time


	13. Fall Into A Rhythm With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall months are perfect for Calum to throw himself back into work. Halloween comes, and November brings Michael's birthday and a surprise visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end of this part omg. There's two other things I want to post but I'd really hate to drag out this series. Oh whale.

**October**

With the band not doing anything anymore Calum found he had a lot of free time on  his hands. He was a world away from his friends and family, usually spending late nights video calling them, Calum wouldn't trade living in L.A for anything though. His days mostly consisted of making breakfast for his family, taking Nadya to ballet classes, and holing himself up in the office. He had been the one to take a step back in the work department, letting Michael be the one who went to the office every morning and came back with stacks of paperwork and talking about conference calls with Ashton. 

It was weird, not doing anything, well not being incredibly busy anymore. Calum found he had more time to breath and enjoy the last years of his twenties. Which is how he found himself writing a book. He hadn't been completely joking when he had told Michael he was writing a tell all. It was about the band, he just didn't know how honest he wanted the book to get. 

Sometimes between the writing and toting Nadya to ballet he found himself walking into their label, not quite letting go of the music. He would mess around with the soundboards and produce the songs that had been filling his journals lately. Which is how he found himself helping one or two of the new talent they had signed with songwriting. Which is how by October he had somehow become a freelance songwriter, helping various artists ( indie stars to upcoming pop artist) write songs. 

Which is how Michael found Calum lying face-down in the office of their house, sheets of music paper scattered him, and Nadya was messily painting his nails bright blue. "Do I want to know whats going on?" Michael asks, sitting down across from him. 

"My brain is fried," Calum mumbles, not evening looking up at Michael. 

"Papa say he can't tink," Nadya supplies in her sing song voice. Calum feels his lips twitch, listening to his daughter sift through her little box of makeup and nail polish. That's all she wanted nowadays, thanks to two of the older ballerinas that helped Hannah teach class who came in with perfect makeup and manicures. So Calum had gone out and bought some kid friendly versions of the expensive makeup the ballerinas had showed Calum. 

"I can see that," Michael says and Calum is sure the older man is smirking. From here Calum can make out Michael's own pink painted nails, Calum smiles more at that. He had hoped to have more female figures around Nadya, just to show her what Michael and Calum clumsily tried to, but Bryana and Jessie were in Sydney and Mali in London. Ashley was never in L.A that long, and Hannah just linked him makeup and hair videos. So yeah, Calum's brain was fried, he had mascara smeared on his eyes and he was fucking trying to keep up with Nadya's ever changing hobbies and interests. "Maybe you should give it a break Callie." 

Calum lifts his head, arching a brow at Michael. The blond shrugs, nudging a plate of apple slices and Nutella (peanut butter was not allowed any where near the house) towards him. "Give what a break?" He sits up, earning cries of protestation from Nadya who hasn't finished. 

"You've been working way too hard and long, time for a weekend off, not buts," Michael says sternly, placing an apple slice in his hand. Calum sighs, popping the piece in his mouth. Michael had a point. 

"What do you have in mind?" Calum finally asks, wiping Nutella off of Nadya's cheeks. 

"We got invited to a movie premiere, thought we should go," Michael shrugs gracefully, moving a stray lock of hair out of Calum's face. 

Calum thinks about it for a minute, watching Nadya try to pack up her nail polishes. "I don't know Mike, we'd need to find a babysitter-"

"Stop right there, it's a kid movie, we can bring Nadya."

"ME?" the toddler perks up, looking at her dads. Calum has to agree there, Nadya already getting excited of going to a movie premiere. 

"Okay, lets go." 

-

"Nadya, stay with me," Calum scolds, holding the little girl's hand tighter. The camera flashes felt brighter for some reason, even though it was the middle of the afternoon and the sun was out. Michael holds his other hand, sunnies covering his face. 

"Why?" Nadya asks, glaring up at Calum. That was the other thing, she now questioned everything. Everything. Calum looks out at the sea of people, photags and various movie stars. How did they get invited to this again? 

"So I don't lose you," Calum replies sharply, the unit walking down the carpet. They say hi to few people they know, everyone gushing over Calum and Michael's daughter. She does look cute, Calum thinks smugly, dressed in a lilac jumpsuit with silver flats. He had managed to get her wild hair into two slick braids, after Michael had laughed for a solid ten minutes at the first attempt.

Calum studies his daughter, smiling up at a friend of a friend of Alex's. They had recently pierced her ears, and Ashley had been quick to send over tiny diamond studs. The stones catch the light, twinkling in the afternoon sun. "Papa, up? Pwease?" Nadya reaches for him and Calum quickly lifts her up, planting a kiss on her cheek. 

"Aww, you two are too cute," Michael gushes, pulling Calum close to him as they reach the end of the carpet. Calum smiles at him, catching his lips in a chaste kiss. He can feel Michael smile against him, and Calum's never been happier to be able to kiss Michael like this out in public even if Nadya is making retching noises in his ear. 

-

As quickly as Nadya's mind changes, its no surprise when after watching The Avengers Calum's daughter runs up to him and exclaims, "Papa I want to be Cap 'Merica." 

"Fuck yeah!" Michael cheers from the couch, earning a glare from Calum. No one in their circle of friends, including his parents, would let the two live it down that their daughter's first word was fuck. 

"Language Mikey," Calum sighs and crouches down to Nadya's height. He had almost forgotten Halloween was in a week. He gives Michael a look and a minute later Michael is in the kitchen coming up with costume ideas. Calum puts Nadya on the counter, letting her 'draw' out her costume. 

"Listen Callie, we could all go as the avengers. I could be Iron Man and you could Black Widow," Calum tries not to laugh at the wink Michael sends his way, smacking Michael's ass as when he passes behind him. "Imagine that? God the neighbors would get a kick out of that." 

Calum laughs loudly, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist. "Okay, sounds like a plan." 

 

They agree to go trick or treating with Hannah, the two families meeting up at the end of Calum and Michael's street. Hannah takes one look at Calum's red wig and bursts out laughing. Calum thinks she is really in no position to be laughing since she's in a muffin costume. "You look good leather pants, Calum." She finally gets out, her fiancee laughing next to her. 

"Oh my gosh how far along are you?" Michael asks, looking concerned for their heavily pregnant friend. Besides him Nadya and Jasper are peeking into each others candy bags, the five year old dressed up as... a cowboy. 

"Seven months, I'm fine Michael," Hannah waves him off in favor of introducing Michael and Calum to her fiancee, Daveed. 

"So I take it your Iron Man, right?" Daveed asks, smirking at Calum. "And your Black Widow."

"Yes!" Nayda says distractedly, butting into the conversation. "'M Cap 'Merica."

Daveed pats Nadya on the head, letting her show him the shield she was excited to get. "What are supposed to be Daveed?" Calum asks, trying to figure out the mans costume.

"Black Panther," Daveed laughs looking down at his black turtle neck and silver chains, "Not much of a costume, though, I know. I didn't think I would be in town but surprise." Calum laughs and the two families make their way down the streets, chatting about their day to day lives and jobs. They watch their children, fondly, make their way up the houses and collect candy. Jasper is always careful to make sure Nadya is close behind, grabbing her hand whenever they come to a particularly scary looking house. 

-

"Please keep the wig on tonight," Michael murmurs into Calum's ear as they walk back to their house, Nadya asleep in his arms. It was well past her bedtime, even Jasper was falling asleep in Daveed's arms. Calum bites his lip, shaking his head slowly. 

"Kinky aren't you?" Calum jokes, turning to say bye to Hannah and Daveed as they climb into their car. Michael does the same, turning back to Calum with mischievous eyes. 

"Callie, please, you're such a hot redhead," Michael says lowly, sending shivers down Calum's back. Michael lets a hand trail down Calum's back, resting on top of his ass. "Please keep the wig on?" 

"Okay," Calum breathes out, kissing Michael hotly. 

As soon as they rush into the house, Michael is quick to put Nadya to bed. He closes the door and rushes to the masters where Calum is resting on the bed, naked. Calum smirks up at Michael, draping the red hair over his shoulder. Happy Halloween indeed, Calum thinks, just Michael is climbing into bed and pulling Calum on top. 

*

**November**

"Calum?"

"Yeah Mals?" Calum speaks into the phone groggily, annoyed at being woken up so early on a Sunday. 

"Can you or Michael pick me up at LAX?" Calum sits up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Did he hear that right? "Cal, you still on the phone?" 

Calum's brain reboots, focusing back on his sister, "Yeah, yeah. Why are you at LAX, Mali?" 

Calum can all but see the shrug in Mali-koa's voice when she goes, "Surprise I guess."

 

A commute to LAX and stop at Starbucks later, Calum drags in Mali's suitcase and duffel bag. He sets the bag at the edge of the stairs greeting Duchess. He watches Mali take in the house, notices how she purses her lips at the exposed beams and french windows. She walks around the house, Calum following behind her confused and slightly alarmed. 

She taps a finger against her chin, peeking in to the office scattered with paper work, the sleek computer screens asleep for once. She moves on silently, Duchess at her side, taking in the brightly painted walls and admiring the large kitchen full of stainless steel appliances and gold speckled, dark marble counters. 

When she finally heads into the living room, with Nadya's toys littering the floor and an empty pint of ice cream Calum must have forgotten to throw, she stops. Calum watches Mali warily make her way to the entertainment system, looking closely at the pictures kept alongside video games and dvds. "I remember that," Mali says quietly, pointing to a picture of the two of them from when they were little. 

Calum smiles, watching Mali look at the photos he had brought over from Sydney. Carefully she takes two frames out bringing them over to Calum. One's his and Michael's wedding photo, the other from their London holiday that included everyone. Mali smiles up at him, tilting her head, "You've made yourself quite a home haven't you little brother?" 

"Yeah, I guess I have." 

-

"Ant Mali!" Nadya shrieks, running into the living barefoot and still in her pjs. Michael trails in behind her in basketball shorts, looking confused. Mali puts down her cup of coffee in favor of catching a flying Nadya, peppering the toddler with kisses. 

"Mali-koa, what a surprise," Michael says, patting her head. He doesn't wait for a reply, walking into the kitchen to fix himself tea. Calum chuckles softly, watching Michael run on auto-pilot 

"I forgot how how he was when he hasn't had caffeine," Mali chirps, half listening to whatever Nadya was telling her. 

"Not that I don't love having you here Mali, but why are you here?" Calum asks, flipping on the t.v and putting cartoons on for Nadya. "Nadya, sweetie, put on socks so you don't get sick." 

"Um later," Nadya answers back, too busy trying to plait Mali's hair.

"Nadya now," Michael grumbles, sending the little girl off to put on socks. 

"I had promo stuff to do here in the states next week," Mali begins after Michael has finally settles into the recliner and Nadya has returned with mismatched socks on, sitting back down in her aunts lap. "So I worked some things out and decided to come a week earlier, so you have me for most of the week." Calum sips at his coffee, amused. He could clear off some of the work he had this week, it wasn't that important. 

"Also, we should do something for Michael's birthday!" Mali suddenly reminds them, sitting up straighter. "Kid friendly of course," she hastily adds, giving Nadya a quick hug. Calum laughs at Michael's expression, one of mild disgust and amusement. 

"I don't need a birthday party," Michael grumbles, clutching Wilson closer to him. 

"Ant Mali, can I paint your nails?" Nadya interrupts, leaving the room to get her kit. 

"She won't take no for an answer, okay?" Calum jokes, fondly watching Nadya walk back in. Mali rolls her eyes, scooting to sit on the floor.

"Geez, I wonder where she got that from," Mali drawls sarcastically, giving a pointed look to Calum. All Calum can do is laugh and shake his head, he stands, heading over to the kitchen. 

-

Later that night Mali-koa sits Calum and Nadya in front of the bathroom mirror, hair ties, ribbons, and various combs scattered on the counter. Nadya is giggling with excitement, ready for her aunt to play hairdresser with her. Calum internally groans but is actually quite excited, Mali could teach him the tips and tricks youtube couldn't. 

Mali picks up a skinny comb, waving it around before sliding on a hair tie over her wrist. "Okay Calum, you're going to learn how to do a Dutch braid. Then I'll show you how to do that crown braid, and how to do a braided bun." Mali raises an eyebrow at Calum in the mirror and Calum leans in closer, watching Mali expertly divide and plait the hair. 

Each hairstyle Mali does, Calum has to do three times before getting the hang of it. But by the time Nadya is dozing off on the counter, Calum is proud to say he can do a few neat things other then messy buns and loose braids. Michael came in for ten minutes, and after learning to do a braid and space buns promptly left, leaving Calum to unravel the long hair. 

Mali seems satisfied with Calum's hair styling skills, giving him two thumbs up and helping put Nadya asleep. "Her room is so pretty Calum," Mali amazes, taking in the soft fairy lights strung up over Nadya's little bed, a faux canopy hanging over the bay window. A bookshelf leans against one of the walls filled with fairytale books, ballerina and princess figurines, and snowglobes. A cedar chest tucked into a corner holds most of Nadya's toys, while the small walk-in closet hold the rest along with her clothes. 

On the lilac and light pink walls are drawings of mermaids and mythical creatures, a few silhouette  dancers leaping across the walls. On Nadya's door hangs a silver 'N' completing the mystical look and feel. "It is, isn't it?" Calum says, surprised at how good Nadya's room came out himself.

"How's L.A treating you?" Mali asks quietly as they had down the hall to the room she's staying in. 

"Good," Calum answers honestly, much better than what Sydney would've dealt them. 

"I'm glad, you look happier here anyways," Mali walks into her room, motioning for Calum to follow. The guest rooms are still plain, painted a simple taupe color with full beds that hold white sheets. Calum sits on the bed, picking at the comforter. "I know how tough it can be, being far away from friends and family." 

Calum nods, grateful his sister knows him so well. "Your little family will thrive here, I just know it. I proud of you Calum," Mali adds, wrapping Calum up in a tight hug. Calum hugs her back, holding onto something familiar in his life. 

"Michael and I were thinking of having another," Calum says quietly, watching Mali's expression keenly. She nods, letting him go on. "By surrogate, and I already told him it's going to be his." At that Mali raises her eyebrows, but motions for him to continue. "And the next one after that as well." 

"How many kids are you planning on having Calum?" Mali-koa asks gently, looking at him intently. Calum laughs, running his hands through his hair. Him and Michael had only just decided this a couple off weeks ago at their last therapy session, after Michael had been hell bent on getting a kid from Calum. 

"Three, just Nadya and the next two," Calum says going back to picking at the comforter. "Apparently having a surrogate is a big commitment that takes a lot of planning and money. We started everything already and Michael wanted one from both of us and I don't know, Mals, I just want Michael's." 

"Is Michael okay with that?" Mali butts in, tilting Calum's face towards her. 

"Yeah, yeah," Calum gives a bright smile, "Our first doctors appointment is in February. " Mali gives a smile, wrapping Calum in another hug again. 

-

A few days later brings Michael's birthday. Against Michael's protests they were all going to play mini golf, Calum inviting Hannah and Jasper along. Michael agrees to go only if Calum lets him win at least three rounds of the game. Calum for all its worth, gets Michael to agree by putting his mouth to work in the morning and watching happily as he comes in Calum's hands. 

He spoils his husband, making Michael's breakfast favorites and bringing them up to bed, Nadya trailing with a plate of toast in her hands. "Thank you my darlings," Michael says fondly, planting a kiss on Nadya's forehead and a sloppy one on Calum's lips. The family unit eats breakfast in bed, watching cartoons (Michael and Calum fondly watch Nadya twirl and spin) and sipping on hot chocolate. Mali walks in a little later with a small gift bag, sitting at the edge of the bed. 

"I'm jealous of this house," Mali grumbles good naturedly, walking into the master bath. "Please tell me thats not a real gold bowl on the counter Calum!" she calls, probably going through the linen cabinets and bowls on the counters. 

"No, it's not," he calls back, glancing up at the Sydney harbor skyline painting he had somehow found at a flea market. 

"I love the color schemes," Mali says, walking back into the bedroom. "Who knew maroon and navy worked well with gold. That closet, I want that closet." Calum rolls his eyes, nudging Mali's gift towards Michael. 

"Open it or she won't shut up," Calum mock whispers getting a throw pillow to the head, 

Michael laughs, opening the gift to reveal a shirt and a few vintage posters. "Thank you Mali-koa." 

-

"Can she watch you do your makeup?" Calum asks, barging into the bathroom Mali was in. Luckily for him, she was wearing a robe, unluckily for him Nadya was crying loudly. 

Mali nods, motioning for Calum to put Nadya on the toilet seat. "Hey there bug, wanna play with some of my makeup?" Nadya stops crying, giving a wary glance to her aunt. Mali just widens her eyes, holding out a few pencils and a palette. Carefully Nadya grabs the palette, clumsily opening the thing. Calum leaves the two, Nayda still sniffling but she'll be fine. 

 

Later when Michael and Calum are finally dressed and ready, he finds Nadya still watching Mali curious to what's she's doing. Calum watches from the door as his sister carefully applies lipstick to herself and swipes on mascara, handing Nadya a clear gloss to do the same. 

"Ready ladies?" Calum asks, breaking the moment. Mali nods, picking up Nadya. 

"Lets go." 

-

"Happy birthday to you!"

Michael blows out the twenty seven candles him and Mali had pettily stuck onto the cake they had bought. Calum cheers, snapping pictures of Nadya sticking her fingers into the icing. Michael rolls his eyes, putting icing on Calum's nose. Mali and Hannah laugh at the both of them, Hannah heavily pregnant and laughing from a booth. Jasper keeps close to her knowing that his new sibling could come at any moment. Calum honestly didn't think she would come, but he was surprised yet again by the fairy like woman. 

"Did you make a wish?" Nadya asks, tiptoeing up at Michael. 

"Of course," Michael says cheerily giving Nadya a piece of cake. Calum find himself leaning on his husband, wrapping his arms tightly around Michael. 

"What did you wish for?" Calum queries, curious if Michael had actually made a wish or not. 

"Nothing," Michael murmurs, kissing Calum. "I have everything I could ever want."


	14. Of Pancake Hearts and Expanding Families

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as quickly as time flies so do the lives of Calum and Michael, along with their friends.

**February**

Nadya jumps onto Calum and Michael's bed, startling the two awake. Calum sits up, catching Nadya before she can roll off the bed. Michael lazily sits up, running his hands through his hair. "What the fu-"

"Nadya, you scared me," Calum says loudly, covering Michael's cussing. The toddler just giggles, scrambling to make her way under the covers. Calum pulls back the comforter, letting Nadya drag her blanket next to her. Calum yawns, stretching his arms over his head. Might as well get out of bed. He looks over at Michael and Nadya, the two already falling back to sleep. He wonders when Nadya started sleeping in their bed, making for some very awkward situations in the morning. His mom had said she'd grow out of it, to let her curl up around Michael and sleep another hour or so. 

Calum makes his way downstairs, going through his morning routine. Lets Duchess outside, put on coffee, turn on the news. He plugs his phone into the charger watching the damn thing come back to life, the date glaring up at him. February 14, Calum notes, moving to sit on the sofa.

"Valentines Day, fuck," he stops in his tracks, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."  How could he forget that, how did Michael let him forget Valentines? Calum races back upstairs, tiptoeing around his family to get dressed. 

-

An hour later he's back at home, Michael and Nadya still asleep. He quickly ties a bow on Michael's gift, setting out the small valentines he got the two. Random flowers decorate the house, roses, tulips, freaking baby breaths. Calum allows himself a solid thirty minutes to drink coffee quietly, letting his mind calm down. 

That's the moment his phone decides to ring. Calum groans, faintly hearing the shower upstairs start up. "Hello?" 

"Is this Calum Hood?" A voice nervously comes through, light and airy. 

Unfortunately, Calum thinks, "Yes this is, can I ask who's calling?" Wilson jumps on Calum, rubbing against his shirt. Brilliant, the cat decides now of all times to attack me. 

"This is Marie, um, the person who will be carrying your... child?" Calum bites back another groan, this was for Michael, not him. "The agency said it'd be better for me to call and confirm, you know make it personal and all?" The line quiets and Calum realizes he's probably been silent for too long. 

He clears his throat, standing. "Well technically Michael's," Calum starts, watching his husband walk in with Nadya at his heels. "I didn't think we'd get matched so soon." 

The woman on the other line giggles, still uneasy. "I sort of jumped at the chance, almost like fate I guess." 

Calum waves Michael over, putting the phone on speaker. "Well we're both glad you decided to hep us out," Calum says gently, trying to put Marie at ease. "I guess we'll be seeing you shortly?" 

"Yes! A month or so, after Michael's test results come in," Marie chirps, rattling on about the process. Calum hands over the phone to Michael, letting the two discuss in private. He had no objections to Marie, she sounded lovely, and as long as she was blonde even better. Maybe Calum was being biased, but if they were using a surrogate, he wanted to make sure their next child at least had Michael's dirty blond hair. 

"Come on Nadya lets make pancakes," He says, picking up his daughter. Nadya cheers, raising her tiny fist in the air. 

-

"They look like hearts," Michael says amused, spraying whip cream onto the red and pink creations Calum and Nadya had thought up. 

"They are," Calum says solemnly, cutting up a pancake for Nadya. Nadya smiles, sitting on her knees as she sticks a piece of bacon into her mouth. "Happy Valentines babe." 

"Happy Valentines," Michael says softly, kissing Calum full on the lips. Nadya gags at them, utterly disgusted with the show of affection. "Happy Valentines, my small angel!" Michael turns quickly to Nadya, pestering her with kisses. Their daughter squeals, trying to shove Michael away. 

"No daddy, no!" She shrieks, hopping off the chair and hiding behind Calum. Calum laughs, plucking Michael's gift from the counter and handing it over to Nadya. 

"Give this to daddy, Nadya," Calum says, gently  pushing Nadya towards Michael. She runs up to him, placing the small silver box on the table. Calum gives Nadya hers letting the little girl tear off the red bow. 

"Calum what are these?" Michael asks, holding up the slender gold bracelet. Nayda holds up her too, staring at it intensely. "And why does it come with a screwdriver?" 

Calum shrugs, biting his lip. "They're love bracelets, you screw them on and you really can't take them off again. Of course, I'm not about to screw on Nadya's," Calum could already imagine Nadya losing the expensive accessory. Calum raises his own wrist, showing off the rose gold bracelet. 

"That's sweet of you Calum," Michael says, absently wiping whip cream off of Nadya's cheeks and hands. "Thank you." Calum smiles, moving to slip on Michael's bracelet. Michael sits patiently, watching Calum screw on the gold band. 

Nadya watches them, carefully eating bites of pancakes. Calum slides both of them boxes of chocolate, watching Nadya light up. "Only one, Nadya." Calum warns, not ready for Nadya to be jumping off the walls so early in the day. 

-

Later on he calls his friends, starting with Ashton and Bryana. In a month they would head down for the two's wedding, Calum would be lying if he said he didn't miss Sydney and his friends. Nadya would also be the flower girl, Bryana sending over a picture of the dress she would be in. 

His call with Jessie and Luke is cut short by Jessie suddenly throwing up over the phone. She sounded awful, Luke's worried voice ringing through the speaker. Calum worried for her as well, someone that healthy shouldn't be the sick while pregnant. She was getting better, more good days than bad, but there were days like today when she couldn't get out of bed sometimes. 

"I'm worried for her," Luke had said before Calum had hung up. "The doctors keep running tests, and our mothers just say these things happen, regardless of how healthy she is." 

"Is there anything the doctors can do," Calum had whispered into the phone, hoping not to worry Michael along with Nadya. She was fond of her aunt Jessie. 

"So far they think she could have some auto-immune thing going on," Luke sighed, sounding so very tired and older than twenty-six. "For the most part they say it's just a difficult pregnancy, she's put on so much weight though, it doesn't look like it until she wakes up covered in sweat and vomiting." 

Calum sighed, there was so much he wanted to say but not over the phone. His heart ached for his friend, she had been hesitant at first about having the child, but as the weeks had gone on she had gotten more excited. She was ready to be mother, Calum just wished it didn't come at such a high price. "It'll be alright, Luke, it'll be alright. I'll see you in a few weeks, give Jessie a big hug for me." 

"Okay," Luke had said, hanging up the phone as Jessie called for him. At times like these Calum wished they could live in Sydney like their friends, but he had made his family in L.A and L.A was feeling more like home with each passing month. 

*

A few days later Luke skypes everyone to announce Jessie is having twins. Jessie weakly cheers from the couch, waving the protein shake she had to drink in the air. Calum smiles, happy for her, even as from here Calum can tell she's pale and her hair falls limply in her face. Yet he knows she's glowing, happy in her own way. The pregnancy is hard on her because of the twins, it makes sense now, especially for someone with her slight frame. 

All Calum can see when the screen fades to black is the young wild teenager he had met with red hair and chubby cheeks. He remembers Jessie on her wedding day, after she had shed all her baby weight, all sharp angles and gentle curves with long dark hair. Now she had a belly and rosy cheeks, still wickedly sharp, her hair darker and curlier. 

Calum is roused out of his thoughts by Michael sliding back under the covers,  a mug of tea in his hands. "Having second thoughts about having a surrogate?" Calum barks out a laugh, elbowing Michael in the side. 

"No, Marie is healthy." 

"So is Jessie," Michael points out, taking a sip. Calum wondered who really scared here. 

"Mikey, are you having second thoughts?" Calum asks, leaning his head on Michael's shoulder. 

"No," Michael says at last, blowing the steam rising from the mug. "Just thinking about how wrong this could all go. Look at Jessie, Cal, she's healthy and look what still happened to her! What if the same happens to Marie, or worse?" Michael, lets out a long sigh, chewing on his bottom lip. "I can't handle or worse,"

"No one can handle or worse," Calum says softly, "We know the risks, Marie knows the risks. Yet that's how life works," Calum tries to joke, not even laughing. 

"It'll work out," he tries again, kissing Michael's cheek. "With Jessie and with us." 

"Lets hope so." 

-

**April.**

On a rainy day late in April Calum and Michael meet their surrogate, Marie. Calum decides on meeting her at a coffee stop that's in the middle for both of them. Marie coming from San Francisco and the two of them from Calabasas. 

Michael is immediately taken with her, wrapping her up in a hug. Calum smiles at her, taking her in. She's twenty nine, with straight ash blonde hair and amber eyes. As they settle in a booth, Michael bringing over drinks, Calum settles on asking questions. 

"What did you do in high school?" Calum asks, peering at the woman in front of him. Marie smiles, pushing bangs out of her face. 

"I was a cheerleader, straight A student, did a year of volleyball," she laughs, waving her hand. "I sound like a typical american set up, but I swear I wasn't that popular. Never ran for prom queen." Calum laughs at that, watching Michael order. 

"How long have you two been together?" Marie asks, watching Calum. 

Calum really laughs, wondering where to start. "Married? Almost six years I think, but we've been together since we were eighteen. We've been friends for longer than that," Calum quickly does some mental math, figuring out how long he has known Michael. "About twenty years or so." Marie's eyes widen, taking in the news. 

"Wow, that's, wow," she sits back, nodding. "You're lucky, not everyone finds someone that special in their life." 

Calum nods, biting back a smile, "Yeah I guess I am, I would't be who I am without him." 

"Likewise," Michael butts in, catching the last of the conversation. They continue to talk, Calum and Michael showing Marie videos of Nadya, wishing they had brought her along instead of leaving her with Hannah. 

As the afternoon comes to a close Marie begins to look nervous, fidgeting with her sweater. "So I'm having Michael's... right?" They both nod wondering what Marie could be getting at. 

"Can I ask why?" Marie blurts out, "I mean not that you shouldn't or anything, but what made you two decide to use Michael's..." 

"Because Calum just wants my kids," Michael grumbles fondly, "he wants blonde, green eyed kids running around the house." 

"Not true," Calum says, staring at Marie. "Okay partially true, but also because I want Michael's line to carry on, I have Mali and if fuck all, I don't mind not having kids. Michael wants a big family and I find it fitting they should be his." As the words come out of Calum's mouth he finds them true. Marie nods, taking a sip of her own drink, if everything went well the next few weeks she would be pregnant by the end of May. 

Calum takes Michael's hand, lacing their fingers together. After seeing how happy Jessie was despite carrying twins while contracting severe morning sickness and anemia, and after she had repeatedly ensured Calum that she could handle it Calum believed her. Calum smiles at Marie, she could handle this too. 

"So are we ready to make a baby?" She laughs, watching as Calum's expressions turns from shock to humor. Michael laughs next to him nodding and Calum finds himself doing the same. 

"Yeah I guess we are."

*

**May**

Calum waits, he forces himself to wait. He keeps himself busy with taking Nadya to ballet, cooing over Hannah's newborn Bea. Hannah tells him to relax, tying Nadya's shoes with swift fingers. 

After class he takes Nadya to get ice cream, phoning Luke. 

"Calum its too early for this conversation," Luke whines on the other line, sounding exhausted. "Jess just fell asleep." 

"I'm scared," Calum blurts out, watching Nadya sticking her spoon into the strawberry and sprinkles mess. 

"You're not at the doctors with Michael?" Luke asks, Calum can hear a door close and water running. Luke must be too awake to fall asleep. 

"No, someone had to watch Nadya and I... couldn't bring myself to go." Calum answers truthfully, too nervous to lie to his friend. Michael had hoped he would come, had asked him to just bring Nadya to the doctors appointment, and Calum had declined. He didn't know why, he was too many emotions to wait in a doctors office while Marie got impregnated. 

"Calum everything will work out alright, I know you see Jessie and think the worse is going to happen but its not," Luke says quietly, "We didn't think this would happen to us either, but Marie is just as healthy and so is Michael its a small chance anything wrong will happen." Luke sighs and Calum can hear the contradiction. Luke and Jessie were healthy, now Jessie was anemic and as each month passed Luke got more and more frightened for his wife. 

"I shouldn't be worried when you have much more shit to be worried and scared over," Calum mumbles, managing a smile when Nadya looks over at him. "We'll try to make it for the birth, I would hate... It would kill both me and Michael if we didn't go and something... if Jessie-" Calum can't finish, opting to spoon some of Nadya's ice cream into his mouth. Luke sighs again on the other line, sounding too tired. 

"Me too Calum, me too," Luke whispers something Calum can't hear and a second later the phone is being shuffled around and Jessie's voice comes through the speaker. 

"How many times do I have to knock sense into Calum?" Jessie jokes weakly, earning a laugh from Calum. "Listen, everything will go great. trust me, I know these things."

"That's what worries me Jess," Calum jokes back, if he tried to serious he would break down. She sounded weak, tired, so many other things that came to Calum's mind and scared the utter crap out of him. 

"You're going to have a beautiful kid this time next year," Jessie rattles on, coughing slightly. "No problems, and if things don't work this time around I'm sure Marie would be willing to try again. Now let me and Luke sleep, lord." Luke says bye, hanging up the phone and leaving Calum to clean up the mess Nadya is in the process of making. 

-

Back at home Michael waits for Calum, dozing on the couch. Calum finds his husband with Wilson curled up on his chest. "Michael, wake up." Calum calls, leaving Nadya to her own devices. He hoped her having a sibling would keep her the company she needed. 

"Calum?" Michael sits up, opening his arms for Calum. He walks into them gratefully, winding his own arms around Michael's middle. 

"How'd it go?" Calum asks, kissing Michael's temple.

Michael shrugs, "Won't know for a few weeks, maybe even a month. I have a feeling it'll work out though." Calum smiles, wondering what makes his husband think that.

"Really, why?"

"Because it's mine." They both laugh, trading sharing lazy kisses. In a month they'll know. In a month they'll find out if they're having another child. Calum shoves asides his fears of how wrong everything could go, choosing instead to focus on the good. Michael had created another life, Jessie was having twins at any moment, and the rest of them? They were alive, spreading joy and love to their own loved ones and friends. 

Calum let out a sigh, watching Nadya walk back into the living room with a few toys. This time next year they could have another little one joining Nadya, and Calum would happily welcome them. Life was changing again for Calum's group, major changes taking over. Calum thought it was fitting that these changes were happening dramatically, it wouldn't be like them if it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no excuse for not updating this besides the fact that I got a boyfriend and well you know how that goes....  
> Thank you for reading :)


	15. Leave the Past for Yesterday and the Future for Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum and Michael's story comes to a close as they receive good news. Calum worries about the future like always but with Michael at his side he knows everything will work out.

**September**.

Calum stared at the pool in front of him. Next to him were stacks of announcements that had to mailed out. Him and Michael had kept things hush in the wake of Jessie's difficult delivery, too afraid to bring a bad twist of fate towards them. So they had kept quiet, keeping their joy to themselves. 

But Marie was three and half months pregnant and Jessie was feeling better enough to question Calum to the point of annoyance, her twins nestled in her arms. 

Calum laughs to himself, they were having another kid. In a few days the rest of their friends and family would know and soon after the world, if the world still cared. 

If someone had told him at sixteen that by the time he was twenty-seven he would have fallen in love with his best friend, gotten married, adopted a little girl and had another on the way... Calum thinks he would've punched that person in the face. Never would he have thought he would be married to Michael for six years and have such a beautiful family. Somewhere deep in his soul his knows this would've been the end game, that no matter if Calum had ran away from Michael years ago or married him earlier, he would still end up in Michael's arms every night for the rest of his life. 

Calum thinks back on his life with the band, those glory years that'll define whatever he does later on. How troubled they were, how toxic each one of them had been. He remembers every tour he had been on, smiling over the last tour how stressful yet exciting it had been. Calum knows that him and the band are forever tied, if each of them moves to a different corner of the world they'll still find a moment to spend together. His fingers twitch, itching to hold his bass one more time. 

He remembers the day he met Jessie, how she had quite literally ran into his life. She kept doing that, shocking him with how much grace and care she carried herself. He'd seen her grow from a outspoken but anxious teen to a confident and determined woman. Luke had met his match, Calum decides, finding his equal in her. He can recall the late night when Luke had came to him nervously saying he might be in love with her a few weeks after they two had met. He had laughed at Luke but looking back he can see it now, how those two were an explosion. 

Of course he didn't think him and Jessie would get along, they were too alike. Then again maybe it had been Calum's need to keep up his carefully constructed lies that kept the two from being close in the beginning. She could see through them too easily, and after those walls had been taken down they were inseparable. 

Calum thinks of Ashton and how the blond was putting his life back together, enjoying the things he never had the chance to do before. He wished the older man the best in everything he did from here on out. He smiled at the memory of Ashton's and Bryana's wedding, the newlyweds were always welcomed in L.A. 

Calum sighs, dipping his toes into the pool. Next summer he'd finally put Nadya in swimming lessons, put the pool to good use. She was four now, eager to start pre-k after watching Magic School bus. She started in a week and Calum wasn't entirely sure he was ready for that. Michael had laughed, saying that it was apart of life. Yet Calum had caught him sniffling, his eyes tearing up. Michael was just as sad and scared over their daughter growing up just as much as he was. 

With another on the way him and Michael had been spending time pouring over paint swatches and furniture, unlike with Nadya they wouldn't find out the baby's sex until the birth and Michael wanted to paint the nursery yellow. Calum was very much against that and wanted it painted shades of sky blue and brown. Regardless they still had a few months before they had to decide on things. 

Michael. His thoughts always came back to his husband. Calum considered himself incredibly lucky to have him in his life. There were many words the floated around Calum's head that fit what Michael was to him. Lover, best friend, constant, spouse, family, pain in the ass occasionally. Everything Calum was today was because he had Michael with him. They had grown together, fought together, lived together. Calum didn't want to think about a life where Michael wasn't in it. 

Their love was something that wasn't going away with time, Calum admitted to himself. He could admit that they were probably soulmates like Jessie and Bryana kept saying. 

 

"Calum we need to mail those out," Michael appears out of nowhere, sitting cross legged next to him. "Like today babe." Calum laughs, leaning his head on Michael's shoulder. 

"Okay, okay, I was just thinking." 

"About?" Michael prompts, lacing their fingers together. Calum kisses his husband quickly, moving long blond hair out Michael's eyes. 

"The future, the past, everything in between," Calum answers, thinking to that book that was almost finished. He had finally told Michael about the tell all, earning support and laughs. Michael now helped him, offering memories and moments Calum couldn't remember. 

"Well I think you should think about mailing those announcements, you know our mums are going to be pissed we didn't tell them sooner," Michael complains, taking one of the glossy envelopes in his hands. Michael stands, gathering the rest, "Lets go Callie, leave the past in the past and the future for tomorrow." 

Calum stands, looking over his backyard. Duchess barks in the distance, chasing Wilson, a breeze coming through. If he closes his eyes Calum can smell the Sydney air, can hear the waves lapping onto the beach. If he focuses just right, he can make out that bonfire from years ago, everyone laughing at Michael lighting a marshmallow on fire. Tilting his head he can go further, to band practices in a dingy garage, to Michael and Calum playing in a grassy backyard as kids. 

Opening his eyes he can see his future; can see Nadya running around in the backyard chasing butterflies. He can hear his kids yelling and shrieking, can imagine him and Michael building and rebuilding. Calum can see himself growing older and old along side Michael, watching his kids grow up. Can see many more bonfires, many Christmases at that beach house. 

Today though, he'll focus on the present. He turns, finding Michael and Nadya just inside the living room peering at him. Twin green eyes, with the attitudes to match watching him. He slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way towards them. It was time to get this over with, to close one chapter of his life and begin another. 

Leave the past in the past, and the future for tomorrow. Calum would live for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for not updating this but life got in the way and yeah, but here's the last chapter! Maybe I'll write like a Christmas thing set in the au to make up for the wait! Thank you guys for reading and leaving comments, they do make my day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads this! I wrote this in a point of view i'm more comfortable with so I hope it flows better. Comments and kudos are welcomed very much! :)


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